I was new in college (back in 2015) when I noticed that I had a difficult time acclimating to things. I was always busy on campus dealing with registration and classes, and I was at that campus by myself. Everyday I couldn't wait till I was back home where it was safe. I was afraid of doing things on my own for fear of failing at those things and ruining my chance at college.
I had never been allowed to think and act freely before, and now that I could decide for myself I had no idea how.
Everything was new: the environment, the staff, the students, and the whole world it seemed. As a kid I couldn't wait to be independent, I wanted to be able to decide for and take care of my own self. I looked forward to it, but when I got there I realized that I didn't know how to speak up and act for myself. Grade school didn't teach me these things. When I wanted to speak up, make a choice, or in any way excersize expressing myself they told me to just go to class and do my work. They had no idea how to accommodate an autistic kid.Because of this my social skills were quite weak by the time I reached adulthood and I was struggling with something that came so naturally to most others: how to socialize, function around others, and take care of myself.
I knew what the mitochondria was though.
And being aware of my own short comings I feared that somehow everybody else could sense it too. The fear made me withdraw into my room and my classes were slipping. I knew I had to figure this out and fast, so I sought help from the campus disabilities counselor and when she gave me advice I took it seriously and with her help I learned how to not be afraid of the world.
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