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When I first recognized I had a problem.

I was new in college (back in 2015) when I noticed that I had a difficult time acclimating to things. I was always busy on campus dealing with registration and classes, and I was at that campus by myself. Everyday I couldn't wait till I was back home where it was safe. I was afraid of doing things on my own for fear of failing at those things and ruining my chance at college.
I had never been allowed to think and act freely before, and now that I could decide for myself I had no idea how.

Everything was new: the environment, the staff, the students, and the whole world it seemed. As a kid I couldn't wait to be independent, I wanted to be able to decide for and take care of my own self. I looked forward to it, but when I got there I realized that I didn't know how to speak up and act for myself. Grade school didn't teach me these things. When I wanted to speak up, make a choice, or in any way excersize expressing myself they told me to just go to class and do my work. They had no idea how to accommodate an autistic kid.​
Because of this my social skills were quite weak by the time I reached adulthood and I was struggling with something that came so naturally to most others: how to socialize, function around others, and take care of myself.
I knew what the mitochondria was though.
And being aware of my own short comings I feared that somehow everybody else could sense it too. The fear made me withdraw into my room and my classes were slipping. I knew I had to figure this out and fast, so I sought help from the campus disabilities counselor and when she gave me advice I took it seriously and with her help I learned how to not be afraid of the world.


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