Okay this may seem too radical to be posted here, but this is my blog so anyway.
Aspie/autism is okay and such, but the problem appears in marriage. In a marriage, the ASD will live with the partner 24/7. So it's impossible to mask.
And another thing is, the ASD subconsciously actually want a caregiver or a mom who will do everything for the ASD. Processing partner? You should hire somebody else. It's irrational to expect your marriage partner to be your mom 24/7, and also without any reciprocation. People marries to support each other, love and care for each other, thinking about each other, making decisions together, navigating/managing the ship together, plan for the future together etc.
I think it's essential for ASD to go through a course or several courses, learn about marriage thoroughly and get qualified before married. This is important, because many ASD don't know the responsibilities unless being told and taught thoroughly.
But, that also would be interrupted by masking. As i said before, it's impossible to mask 24/7, irrational to expect your partner to do everything, irrational to be so entitled.
As alternative, better to hire a caregiver or a processing partner or a personal coach officially and pay them generously.
Many partners are deceived into this kind of marriage because of the masking, which is actually unfair to the partner. Marriage is a huge responsibility, and not for getting a free caregiver. Each person gets a big extra responsibility after marriage.
This is just my opinion based on my observation (albeit through online only) of ASD marriages/relationships. I might have done the same thing as the ASD and I too am guilty. I wonder how this problem can be solved or managed.
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Special Qualification Courses for ASD before Marriage is highly needed?