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Being on Both Sides - Enlightening

Having an undiagnosed aspie husband, and being weird myself (aspie? adhd? or just plain lazy?), I'm kinda aware of how our way of life is kinda burdening the people around us, when other people of the same age contribute so much to the people around them and society.

I do agree that many aspies tend to be 'immature' compared to other people of the same age, whatever the reason. I also know that aspies are trying their best to live without having meltdown, I feel like that too. But I do kinda understand the perspective of the 'caregiver' of the aspie too.

It's really NOT easy to be a caregiver. It does feel like a slave. We need not only manage ourselves, our children, our family, our work, our housework, our bills/mortgage/loans/etc, but we need to also manage the aspie and his/her life - his/her bills/mortgage/loan, his/her appointments, his/her meals, meds, some of his/her work, his/her relationship with others, etc. It's quite tiring and unappreciated.

I do hope aspies do their best to help manage themselves to ease the burden of their caregivers and then help their caregivers as well. Please don't get me wrong, the caregivers do really love their aspies - but too much giving will make the caregivers having burnout and having major depressions.

I do understand that even living takes toll on aspies - living normally is just too much - me myself do feel like that too (although not severely compared to others who have it much much harder than me).

Thank God I have loving family to help me too. But I feel I'm doing the same to my family, which makes me sad and conflicted.

Being in both sides, is very conflicted, but enlightening.
Let's do our best to be grateful - not only spouting the "thank you" words, but also taking responsibility, at least for our own.

Do note that sometimes we think some things are not important so we don't take responsibility on that, but from experience, sometimes that is not entirely correct. For example, we feel like taking note on our own appointments is not important, so we ignore them. But in the end, somebody needs to take that burden - it might be your spouse/mom/caregiver. They need to go to extra length just to make sure you go to your appointment, even though they are so busy and having their own difficulties and tired. Poor them too.

Ok, this is just an example for reflection, please don't roast me on this. This post is a reminder for me too, because I always burden my family and colleagues. I just want to rest...


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BlueSky Aozora
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