Stayed up late last night, up until nearly 2am which is very unusual for me. Normally I'm asleep by 10 or 11. But I had a nap earlier in the day, and seeing as I have consecutive days off; I felt no guilt about it. Woke up after 6 or so hours, so not exactly getting the rest I'd hoped for. Tried to fall asleep again, but I'm no good with lie ins - once I'm up I'm up.
It seemed like the dust had settled - I wasn't stressed about the car, and neither were my parents. Just wait until Wednesday and see what occurs. I'm tempted to speak with HR at work on Tuesday and ask for the Fri-Sun I was supposed to be working to be taken as holiday. That way I don't suffer a loss in February's pay cheque.
I continued to feel lonely and down. At times it was very pronounced. But I did some staffing today and changed the grip tape on my staff. Did some gaming. Been getting back into Battlefield V and enjoying it. The game is very different when I'm not smoking weed. It's a thrill rather than anxiety inducing.
Day 10 now of no weed and I feel quite antsy. Very restless. Trying not to give into impulsivity. The more restless and stressed I feel, the more likely I am to buy things. Still, I've been working out my finances and I might be in a slightly better position next month than expected. Not by much, but it all helps.
No plans for New Years. I never have plans or celebrate it. I made some posts on Reddit looking for people to chat to. One for a Cambridge group to see if anyone fancied meeting up to do staffing/spinning in a park. It'd be nice to meet new people. I also tried an R4R group to try and chat to new people.
I keep reaching out to my current online friends, but very few reply much at all, and the invested energy and building frustration is really feeling toxic.
Other than that, nothing new to report.
Ed
It seemed like the dust had settled - I wasn't stressed about the car, and neither were my parents. Just wait until Wednesday and see what occurs. I'm tempted to speak with HR at work on Tuesday and ask for the Fri-Sun I was supposed to be working to be taken as holiday. That way I don't suffer a loss in February's pay cheque.
I continued to feel lonely and down. At times it was very pronounced. But I did some staffing today and changed the grip tape on my staff. Did some gaming. Been getting back into Battlefield V and enjoying it. The game is very different when I'm not smoking weed. It's a thrill rather than anxiety inducing.
Day 10 now of no weed and I feel quite antsy. Very restless. Trying not to give into impulsivity. The more restless and stressed I feel, the more likely I am to buy things. Still, I've been working out my finances and I might be in a slightly better position next month than expected. Not by much, but it all helps.
No plans for New Years. I never have plans or celebrate it. I made some posts on Reddit looking for people to chat to. One for a Cambridge group to see if anyone fancied meeting up to do staffing/spinning in a park. It'd be nice to meet new people. I also tried an R4R group to try and chat to new people.
I keep reaching out to my current online friends, but very few reply much at all, and the invested energy and building frustration is really feeling toxic.
Other than that, nothing new to report.
Ed
