Dealing With criticism

I could have used that yesterday when my co-worker accused me of getting angry and disrupting the whole office when in fact I was merely expressing irritation at a situation. I like this person but I am beginning to feel that she is monitoring my phone conversations (eavesdropping); in fact, I've caught her at it a few times. I do not think I talk any louder than anyone else in that office--if you want to talk about loud, you should hear some of the guys! But it is my behavior she is monitoring and micromanaging, not even allowing me to name my own feelings. I made the mistake of telling her about my AS and that's basically when it started. She thinks she is being a friend and helping me, but I feel that I am not allowed my dignity and that I am being treated differently because I have AS.

You do realize that this is a dangerous skill to be teaching Aspies in a world that does not really want us to be able to stand on our own two feet and claim our own identity but prefers us meek and quiet and easily manipulated, don't you? I haven't tried fogging because I was never taught fogging or any kind of assertive behavior. That was the last thing those in authority over me wanted me to know. But, I wouldn't be surprised if, instead of diffusing conflict, it ends up escalating it. The fact is, in certain situations and with certain people, there is nothing you can do or say, because anything you do say will be taken as back-talk, disrespect, and the more you defend yourself--even with these techniques and particularly with these techniques--the deeper the hole you will be digging. Some people simply do not want to hear what you have to say and that is that.