Younger son had fun yesterday, I came out to him too

[Aproudmom]

Younger son had yesterday, he had a male to female makeover done and I got his ears pierced. He loved it trying on different looks keeping the wigs and clothing starting of his female wardrobe. Now have a part time daughter named Erika. I even came out to him, told him I came out as bisexual at his age and he now knows he is no longer alone. Told him I have LGBTQ friends he would love to meet whom would accept him in with open arms. Told him one is my friend Tracy whom is a pre op MTF transsexual that grew up having Autism diagnosed at age 8. I called her to come over and she came over telling her story to him and was relieved he has someone to talk to now. He even asked me how I knew that I was bisexual. Said it was discovery knowing I liked boys and girls at age 15. Both of my parents did not accept it at first and took them time to realize this was me. I told him he will always have my support.

 

[oregano]

Great, we all need to have our parent(s) behind us. I personally would worry about accidental misgendering, especially if he's still on the fence about his gender ID. I think you can buy "pronoun buttons" on Ebay that he can wear so that everybody knows how to gender him correctly. I find that it can be difficult to know how to gender people especially in Ashland where there are lots of gender fluid people due to the presence of the university.

 

[Matthias]

Younger son had yesterday, he had a male to female makeover done and I got his ears pierced. He loved it trying on different looks keeping the wigs and clothing starting of his female wardrobe. Now have a part time daughter named Erika. I even came out to him, told him I came out as bisexual at his age and he now knows he is no longer alone. Told him I have LGBTQ friends he would love to meet whom would accept him in with open arms. Told him one is my friend Tracy whom is a pre op MTF transsexual that grew up having Autism diagnosed at age 8. I called her to come over and she came over telling her story to him and was relieved he has someone to talk to now. He even asked me how I knew that I was bisexual. Said it was discovery knowing I liked boys and girls at age 15. Both of my parents did not accept it at first and took them time to realize this was me. I told him he will always have my support.

I'm glad you accept your son and had a good time with him. However, it sounds like your son might be suffering from gender dysphoria, which is a form of self-hatred (hating one's gender specifically). This self-hatred often drives people with gender dysphoria to pretend they are the opposite gender. In extreme cases, if left untreated, it can even lead to a delusion where one believes they are the opposite gender.

Science has shown that self-acceptance is very important to mental health and that pretending to be someone you're not is very harmful, such that people with gender dysphoria who don't learn to accept themselves for who they are (meaning their God-given gender) have a very high rate of suicide. Therefore, I urge you to seek out a good therapist who can evaluate him for gender dysphoria. If he has it, try to find someone who is skilled at identifying and treating the root cause of this self-hatred so he can overcome this disease before it ruins his life. Too many people with gender dysphoria hated themselves so much that they mutilated their own genitals or tried to kill themselves to cope with their emotions. That's why therapy, from a therapist who is both accepting and honest, is essential to reduce the risk of these complications.

I wish you and your son the best.

 

[Aproudmom]

I'm glad you accept your son and had a good time with him. However, it sounds like your son might be suffering from gender dysphoria, which is a form of self-hatred (hating one's gender specifically). This self-hatred often drives people with gender dysphoria to pretend they are the opposite gender. In extreme cases, if left untreated, it can even lead to a delusion where one believes they are the opposite gender.

Science has shown that self-acceptance is very important to mental health and that pretending to be someone you're not is very harmful, such that people with gender dysphoria who don't learn to accept themselves for who they are (meaning their God-given gender) have a very high rate of suicide. Therefore, I urge you to seek out a good therapist who can evaluate him for gender dysphoria. If he has it, try to find someone who is skilled at identifying and treating the root cause of this self-hatred so he can overcome this disease before it ruins his life. Too many people with gender dysphoria hated themselves so much that they mutilated their own genitals or tried to kill themselves to cope with their emotions. That's why therapy, from a therapist who is both accepting and honest, is essential to reduce the risk of these complications.

I wish you and your son the best.

He identifies as a part time crossdresser

 

[Hypnalis]

@Aproudmom

How old is your younger son?

 

[Matthias]

He identifies as a part time crossdresser

I may have overreacted earlier. If he loves and accepts himself but just likes to dress or act like a girl sometimes (similar to actors in plays or movies), there may be nothing wrong with that from a mental health standpoint. I'd only be concerned if he started expressing negative views about himself or his gender based on stories I've read about people who got surgery and later regretted it.

 

[Hazel_1914]

I'm glad you accept your son and had a good time with him. However, it sounds like your son might be suffering from gender dysphoria, which is a form of self-hatred (hating one's gender specifically). This self-hatred often drives people with gender dysphoria to pretend they are the opposite gender. In extreme cases, if left untreated, it can even lead to a delusion where one believes they are the opposite gender.

Science has shown that self-acceptance is very important to mental health and that pretending to be someone you're not is very harmful, such that people with gender dysphoria who don't learn to accept themselves for who they are (meaning their God-given gender) have a very high rate of suicide. Therefore, I urge you to seek out a good therapist who can evaluate him for gender dysphoria. If he has it, try to find someone who is skilled at identifying and treating the root cause of this self-hatred so he can overcome this disease before it ruins his life. Too many people with gender dysphoria hated themselves so much that they mutilated their own genitals or tried to kill themselves to cope with their emotions. That's why therapy, from a therapist who is both accepting and honest, is essential to reduce the risk of these complications.

I wish you and your son the best.

Ignorant or malevolent? When I see someone lie this much I simply have to ask.

Do not leverage statistics. Yes. Around 40% of transgender people commit suicide. No. It isn't self hatred. If I wanted that I'd kowtow to the Catholic Church.

For your reference I didn't know what it felt like to be a human being until I started taking estrogen hormone replacement therapy. Now it's quiet inside my mind and I can function well enough to have a wonderful job.

There are men, women, people with intersex conditions, non-binary people (some people, in the act of being who they are, just don't fit well into society's box of expectations.) I'm not sure what is going on with me, but it only went away on HRT, not by changing clothes or pretending to be someone else. I had already pretended to be a man's man for years and now things are largely better.

As far as mutilation? Well, if testosterone makes me sick, yes, I'm actually in process of losing the source. My gums don't bleed anymore and I am even healthier and more relaxed than I've ever been. Of course I'm going to make a few changes. It'd be nice to have been a man properly but no matter what I'll always be nothing more than a trans woman dressed up in work clothes performing masculinity so my coworkers aren't uncomfortable, so, my suggestion is that you read it from our side.

Just like they say about autism acceptance crap, nothing about us without us-- does that human-rights talk apply universally or only selectively?

 

[Hazel_1914]

And for reference I don't think I understand crossdressing very well but okay, props to your son/daughter/whatever for having a household that doesn't do child abuse in reaction to departures from the norm?

 

[Matthias]

Ignorant or malevolent? When I see someone lie this much I simply have to ask.

I posted what I believe to be the truth based on the science I've read.

Do not leverage statistics. Yes. Around 40% of transgender people commit suicide. No. It isn't self hatred. If I wanted that I'd kowtow to the Catholic Church.

Suicide often results from depression and negative thoughts about oneself. If self-hatred isn't involved, why would 40% of people with gender issues commit suicide? There has to be some explanation, right? What else would motivate someone who doesn't hate their gender to radically alter their body to look like a different gender?

For your reference I didn't know what it felt like to be a human being until I started taking estrogen hormone replacement therapy. Now it's quiet inside my mind and I can function well enough to have a wonderful job.

There are men, women, people with intersex conditions, non-binary people (some people, in the act of being who they are, just don't fit well into society's box of expectations.) I'm not sure what is going on with me, but it only went away on HRT, not by changing clothes or pretending to be someone else. I had already pretended to be a man's man for years and now things are largely better.

As far as mutilation? Well, if testosterone makes me sick, yes, I'm actually in process of losing the source. My gums don't bleed anymore and I am even healthier and more relaxed than I've ever been. Of course I'm going to make a few changes. It'd be nice to have been a man properly but no matter what I'll always be nothing more than a trans woman dressed up in work clothes performing masculinity so my coworkers aren't uncomfortable, so, my suggestion is that you read it from our side.

Just like they say about autism acceptance crap, nothing about us without us-- does that human-rights talk apply universally or only selectively?

That almost sounds like a medical condition. However, emotional distress can cause physical reactions in the body. Therefore, I think it's possible that hormones could improve your physical health by reducing gender-related emotional distress. Of course, I'm not an expert so I really don't know but I'm glad you feel better.

As far as "nothing about us without us", it sounds like a good idea on the surface but many people have conditions that affect their ability to view their situation accurately. I'm not saying that applies to you but if I applied that to schizophrenics who believe they are God, I think it would mean that I'd have to accept their identity and refer to them as gods. I'm sure they'd feel better if I did that but I don't think it would be healthy/good for them. I'd also have to consider the views of people who de-transitioned after getting surgery, who reported overcoming their gender issues with talk therapy, which led to them deeply regretting getting surgery and warning others to seek therapy instead of radically altering their bodies.

 

[Aspychata]

Think this post is about an understanding in a family, with no judgments. That's great news. Feeling accepted in one's own family is such a big deal. l never truly felt accepted by my mom. She listened to my stepfather and brother badmouth me. So l became a very independent thinker, and don't feel l need anybody. I'm glad this is a well-adjusted child finding themselves and finding acceptance.

 

[Hazel_1914]

I posted what I believe to be the truth based on the science I've read.


Suicide often results from depression and negative thoughts about oneself. If self-hatred isn't involved, why would 40% of people with gender issues commit suicide? There has to be some explanation, right? What else would motivate someone who doesn't hate their gender to radically alter their body to look like a different gender?


That almost sounds like a medical condition. However, emotional distress can cause physical reactions in the body. Therefore, I think it's possible that hormones could improve your physical health by reducing gender-related emotional distress. Of course, I'm not an expert so I really don't know but I'm glad you feel better.

As far as "nothing about us without us", it sounds like a good idea on the surface but many people have conditions that affect their ability to view their situation accurately. I'm not saying that applies to you but if I applied that to schizophrenics who believe they are God, I think it would mean that I'd have to accept their identity and refer to them as gods. I'm sure they'd feel better if I did that but I don't think it would be healthy/good for them. I'd also have to consider the views of people who de-transitioned after getting surgery, who reported overcoming their gender issues with talk therapy, which led to them deeply regretting getting surgery and warning others to seek therapy instead of radically altering their bodies.

Again you are wrong dead wrong.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

You shouldn't trans your kids.

 

[Aproudmom]

@Aproudmom

How old is your younger son?

15

I may have overreacted earlier. If he loves and accepts himself but just likes to dress or act like a girl sometimes (similar to actors in plays or movies), there may be nothing wrong with that from a mental health standpoint. I'd only be concerned if he started expressing negative views about himself or his gender based on stories I've read about people who got surgery and later regretted it.

He is happy as his male side having a part time female side

 

[Hypnalis]

@Hazel_1914 @Matthias

The 40% suicide number is an outright lie, but it's been propagated far and wide, so that doesn't imply that anyone posting earlier in this thread is a liar.

It's actually the number for "suicidal ideation" which is far more frequent than attempted suicide, which in turn is far more frequent than actual suicide.

The numbers are available on the US CDC website (which I last checked was about two years ago - ongoing changes in the % of LGTQs in the population will have changed them a bit since then. In the past the site also had some very helpful commentary that made it easier to interpret the data.

Two interesting facts:
1. Back when I checked the CDC site, the number for suicidal ideation among LGB's was 35%, so very close to the "T" 40%, with both much higher than the average of everyone else..
This is a solid indication that ALL young people who feel like outsiders due to their differences in that general area (compared to the remainder of the population) are inclined to think about suicide enough for it to be considered ideation (which has a low threshold, but it's well above e.g. just thinking about it randomly).
2. The actual suicide rate of people who transition increases after transition.
This refutes the possibility that the false claims made using the ideation numbers have a net positive effect.
And incidentally induces an objective observer to wonder at the motivation of the original liars, because they must have picked up that 40% number from the same place I did - they knew what they were doing.

PS
The XY and XX numbers for "% of successful suicide attempts" are very different (by a factor of something like 8 times (i.e. 800%) IIRC, but maybe someone can verify it?).
I've never seen a split of <XY or XX <LGB, T, none of those>>, but it probably exists, and would be quite interesting to analyze.

BTW: For the record, I don't exactly have a side in this particular thread, though I do have some preferences in the Culture War.
But I like facts, and I dislike malicious propaganda, hence this post.

 

[oregano]

Little kids love to experiment. If he likes dressing as a girl on occasion there is nothing wrong with that. From the info given, it doesn't sound like he is convinced he is actually a girl in a boy's body, he's just a little boy who likes to pretend he is a girl simply out of childhood curiosity. He may just be mildly autistic himself and trying out different things to see what he is interested in. I wouldn't be too worried yet.