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Why would my ex boyfriend tell me to fix my autism symptoms in order for him to have the patience for me?

D

dancerxoxo123

Well-Known Member
He told me I act childish a lot of the time and I say things that aren’t appropriate to people that I don’t realize and my ex always has to point that out to me and it gets annoying to him that is why he didn’t want to get with me. In order for us to work on things again he told me to fix my autism and he said heavy metals and what I eat like processed foods cause my autism and I should try heavy metal cleanse to get the heavy metal out of my body that causes me autism. Will that improve my autism symptoms and does he sound ignorant? Should I try getting the heavy metals out of my body and go gluten and sugar free to see if it will help with my autism symptoms? Does it really help? And what are your thoughts that he said that to me? I also said to him one night I want to go to the arcade and he said that’s childish and I act like a child. This part of my autism also this and to ask a random person where they got their hair done?
 
Well, it doesn't sound good.

Are you saying he is willing to try again if you conform to his wishes?
 
Chelation (heavy metal removal) and gluten-free diets for autism come from questionable science and parents, desperate to try anything to get rid of their kid's autism, reporting that it (along with numerous other dubious treatments) helped their young children recover from autism. They claimed that chelation removed the mercury from vaccines that supposedly caused their child's autism. Gluten-free diet supposedly helps a subset of children that are unusually sensitive to it. I highly doubt either will help your autism and chelation can be dangerous (a few children died from it).

The best thing you can do, IMHO, is to read books on emotional intelligence, which can help you understand emotions and people better, resulting in more pleasant social interactions and more people wanting to be around you.
 
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To put it bluntly - dump him.

His idea of a heavy metal cleanse is nonsense, as are his ideas about autism.

Autism isn't something you fix. He's ignorant and sounds like he's controlling.

You don't need that in your life.

Ed
 
Yea
Matthias said:
Chelation (heavy metal removal) and gluten-free diets for autism come from questionable science and parents, desperate to try anything to get rid of their kid's autism, reporting that it (along with numerous other dubious treatments) helped their young children recover from autism. They claimed that chelation removed the mercury from vaccines that supposedly caused their child's autism. Gluten-free diet supposedly helps a subset of children that are unusually sensitive to it. I highly doubt either will help your autism and chelation can be dangerous (a few children died from it).

The best thing you can do, IMHO, is to read books on emotional intelligence, which can help you understand emotions and people better, resulting in more pleasant social interactions and more people wanting to be around you.
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Yes true so for me if I go on a heavy metal cleanse it will help my autism in adults?
 
dancerxoxo123 said:
Yea

Yes true so for me if I go on a heavy metal cleanse it will help my autism in adults?
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Heavy metals do not and have never caused autism. A heavy metal cleanse to cure autism is like removing the appendix to fix a broken leg. The only thing seems to help is paying someone a lot of money to traumatize you into fearing to exhibit autism. You will never be the same again and have PTSD for the rest of your life if you do this.

Ex-boyfriend sounds like a good thing here. Better to keep it that way.
 
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dancerxoxo123 said:
Maybe but what do you think of him and the heavy metal detox will fix my autism?
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Not much.

He clearly does not understand autistic traits and behaviors. In most cases they are "hard-wired", meaning we can't simply change or stop them through willpower alone.

Precisely the kind of person you want to avoid at all costs. They will just make your life miserable.

It's why I have severed contact with my own brother. His presence is endlessly toxic to me, as he always expects and demands for me to adapt to the NT way of thinking and socializing. Masking had become increasingly difficult for me when interacting with him and having to hear all his constant insults.
 
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He dumped you, called you too stupid, and now he tells you to stop being yourself and that maybe he'll come back after that. I really dont understand why are you even still talking to him. Is your self-esteem that low?
 
If there would be cure for autism, I am sure many people would have already cured themselves (or their kids) of this. But no, there is none.
 
He sounds childish and ignorant. It might be tempting to absorb the things he is saying about you and to you because somehow jerks can be believable. Sorry you have had to put up with this. He should go home and take a chelation shower.
 
dancerxoxo123 said:
Mabye but what do you think of him and the heavy metal detox will fix my autism?
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I know nothing about detoxing heavy metals to get rid of autism, and don't want to.
This is nonsense in my book. lol

Why not give him another try, but don't let yourself have high expectations or get emotionally invested.
Adopt a more objective approach, and see it as testing the waters.
If it can work again, which I doubt, allow that emotional connection to start up once more.

Keep in mind, I am a hyper-logical person/aspie, and my strategy wouldn't be for everyone. :cool:
 
dancerxoxo123 said:
He told me I act childish a lot of the time and I say things that aren’t appropriate to people that I don’t realize and my ex always has to point that out to me and it gets annoying to him that is why he didn’t want to get with me. In order for us to work on things again he told me to fix my autism and he said heavy metals and what I eat like processed foods cause my autism and I should try heavy metal cleanse to get the heavy metal out of my body that causes me autism. Will that improve my autism symptoms and does he sound ignorant? Should I try getting the heavy metals out of my body and go gluten and sugar free to see if it will help with my autism symptoms? Does it really help? And what are your thoughts that he said that to me? I also said to him one night I want to go to the arcade and he said that’s childish and I act like a child. This part of my autism also this and to ask a random person where they got their hair done?
Click to expand...

He is saying all this because he cannot accept you as you are and wants you to be what HE wants. A person without Autism.

I think all this stuff about purging heavy metals, processed foods, and the whole covid vax thing is presenting a false hope to NTs that think that our Autism is some disability and/or disease that must be eradicated. All because they cannot just accept something so different.
 
dancerxoxo123 said:
He told me I act childish a lot of the time and I say things that aren’t appropriate to people that I don’t realize and my ex always has to point that out to me and it gets annoying to him that is why he didn’t want to get with me. In order for us to work on things again he told me to fix my autism and he said heavy metals and what I eat like processed foods cause my autism and I should try heavy metal cleanse to get the heavy metal out of my body that causes me autism. Will that improve my autism symptoms and does he sound ignorant? Should I try getting the heavy metals out of my body and go gluten and sugar free to see if it will help with my autism symptoms? Does it really help? And what are your thoughts that he said that to me? I also said to him one night I want to go to the arcade and he said that’s childish and I act like a child. This part of my autism also this and to ask a random person where they got their hair done?
Click to expand...
I am married to a NT. The very things that he loves about me are the things that are ND. When I am like "hey lets go do this " or I act what may be perceived as "childish" by one person. My hudband just sees as fun because are interests align, we laugh, express enjoyment. In a world that many do not enjoy and seek gratification in a dark way.

He is putting down your happiness simply because he does not understand you. There is also a lack of confidence on his part and he does not accept himself the way you accept yourself.

My advice would be:
It may not seem like it but there is someone else out there for you. Keep enjoying what you love. The only reason you should do diets like the metal detox, sugar detox etc is to help YOU AND YOUR gut feel better. Not for anyone else. Not to eradicate anything. Your autism is a part of you and there is nothing wrong with that. Someone will love you just the way you are. This person is not the person they seem to have another motive. They are not thinking about you or your safety at any moment. You would be putting yourself in a very vulnerable place entering into a relationship with them again. I would be concerned with where the control would progress. Speaking from past experience.

If you need someone to talk to feel free to DM me
 
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