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Why some (unhappy) people don't follow advice

Nervous Rex said:
A phrase I heard: People don't change until the pain of the problem becomes worse than the pain of the solution.

Seems very true to me.
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What would endlessly frustrate me, if I let it, is how some people remain stuck at Stage 1 indefinitely. In other words, some people never figure out that there IS a solution. Not only can't they see it, they can't even follow your lantern as you lead the way.

Like the bachelors who complain they have not mated by age 30 ... do NOTHING to change that ... and are in the same boat at 60.

I just have to pull away. That's the utility of this model: don't knock yourself out for someone who is immovable. Cast not your smiles before swine.
 
GadAbout said:
What would endlessly frustrate me, if I let it, is how some people remain stuck at Stage 1 indefinitely. In other words, some people never figure out that there IS a solution. Not only can't they see it, they can't even follow your lantern as you lead the way.

Like the bachelors who complain they have not mated by age 30 ... do NOTHING to change that ... and are in the same boat at 60.

I just have to pull away. That's the utility of this model: don't knock yourself out for someone who is immovable. Cast not your smiles before swine.
Click to expand...


There is a huge amount of frustrated 60, 50, 40, 30+ males where l live.
 
GadAbout said:
Precontemplation ("not ready") – "People are not intending to take action in the foreseeable future, and can be unaware that their behaviour is problematic"
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  1. People do not like to admit their faults.
  2. People deny psychology, they think they are "humans" not animals and "humans so complex and blah blah..."
  3. If problem they facing is not critical enough for their well being
    e.g. "smoking does not kill you today so bad of smoking is up for a debate"
    or "person is working in grocery store, he has apartment, money his life is going somewhat" if he was unable to find job he would try to work something out about it, they will not put too much effort to solve "optional" problems.

    In other words improving is not good enough motivation to change your habits/thinking. Dont want to step out of comfort zone (comfort zone does not mean its actually "comfortable" in there, its simply state of being habitual to the person).
 
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