Why do you need to date?

[Daniela]

Becouse, at least I think so, you can get and give too the same suport, care etc , from God and friends and your family members right?
I know theres the sex thing and the build a family thing ....but aside from that, why ?

(and about the passion thing i dont realy belive it becouse, it goes away ... I mean theres studies that when your in a relationship for 2 years you kinda start to get desapointed in the person and the ultimate love goes away and you have to chose to love the person (that right there its prety cool XD ) But do you still feel the sparck?)

I mean I think what I´m trying to ask is ....what does it feel like?
Do you have to do a tremendoes efort to love that person our does it come naturaly even after 2 years later?

sorry for the dumb question XD

 

[The Penguin]

I guess I might fit in a typical category like to be in a relationship, having kids, the whole nine yards. I do like the support comes being in a relationship. Having someone in your home, someone to sleep with at night. I also want to have kids. I find me loving the person comes naturally.

I don't consider what you wrote is a dumb question. A question is only dumb when you don't ask.

 

[Daniela]

A question is only dumb when you dont ask , like that XD
I see so its the have a family thing, too right?

 

[The Penguin]

A question is only dumb when you dont ask , like that XD
I see so its the have a family thing, too right?

Yes. It hard to know when this will ever happen. Because I don't go out in public, I can't find someone. But most public places in my area I don't like anyways. Even when I'm in public, I'm shy to approach a woman. I haven't been searching for anyone online either for a while. Even if I never had a dating relationship again, at least I can say I had the experience before.

 

[clg114]

Family is everything, the most important thing you will ever do. This is what it's all about. My wife,my kids and my grand kids make me very happy. It's not all smooth going, but it's well worth it. What does it feel like? It feels like you have done something good with your life. I hope you are as lucky in life as I have been.

 

[King_Oni]

I would be lying if I wouldn't say that sex is a big part of it. Though on the other hand, I guess part of it is finding that one person who pushes the right buttons, not neccesarily for that sex thing, but just in general.

In my last relationship I've considered her to be a really good friend with whom I had intercourse as well.

Whether that's love.. or how one defines love might be somewhat in the middle. I mean, I've been with someone in my life once for over 8 years. I can't say that I've felt strong love for her all those years, but in a sense it was great that she was around as my partner.

I don't even intend to have a family with someone. I don't want kids, so for me it's all in good fun, to get through life and just have someone at my side... to have fun with (in a non-devious way). I do believe that it should be mutual; I'm not interested in coercing someone in a relationship just so I, and just me, can have fun.

Looking back for a minute to my last relationship; nope, at some point it wasn't love... it wasn't any more or any less than the appreciation I have for my friends I suppose. Do I love my friends? Myea... in a certain way I guess. And that's the type of "love" I think I have for someone with whom I have been for a while.

I don't think that I'd be interested in that extreme being in love type of thing 24/7... but perhaps that's just me. I've found being so madly obsessed with someone I'm with to be draining and kinda preventing me from actually doing other things with my time.

 

[Daniela]

Family is everything, the most important thing you will ever do. This is what it's all about. My wife,my kids and my grand kids make me very happy. It's not all smooth going, but it's well worth it. What does it feel like? It feels like you have done something good with your life. I hope you are as lucky in life as I have been.

wow thank you realy that was profound. So it feels that good ...well you do have an inpact on the persons that will be the future and you will mold they lives forever....that is prety cool.


(I think God is using you guys to make me view things a litle diferent XD )

 

[Daniela]

I would be lying if I wouldn't say that sex is a big part of it. Though on the other hand, I guess part of it is finding that one person who pushes the right buttons, not neccesarily for that sex thing, but just in general.

In my last relationship I've considered her to be a really good friend with whom I had intercourse as well.

Whether that's love.. or how one defines love might be somewhat in the middle. I mean, I've been with someone in my life once for over 8 years. I can't say that I've felt strong love for her all those years, but in a sense it was great that she was around as my partner.

I don't even intend to have a family with someone. I don't want kids, so for me it's all in good fun, to get through life and just have someone at my side... to have fun with (in a non-devious way). I do believe that it should be mutual; I'm not interested in coercing someone in a relationship just so I, and just me, can have fun.

Looking back for a minute to my last relationship; nope, at some point it wasn't love... it wasn't any more or any less than the appreciation I have for my friends I suppose. Do I love my friends? Myea... in a certain way I guess. And that's the type of "love" I think I have for someone with whom I have been for a while.

I don't think that I'd be interested in that extreme being in love type of thing 24/7... but perhaps that's just me. I've found being so madly obsessed with someone I'm with to be draining and kinda preventing me from actually doing other things with my time.

I see, so you just choose to stay. Its like best friends for ever but with some other stuff in the midle right ? XD

 

[King_Oni]

I see, so you just choose to stay. Its like best friends for ever but with some other stuff in the midle right ? XD

Pretty much.

At some point you've built a lot of trust and put a lot of trust in someone, it's not worth it to throw it away, just because you're not crazy in love anymore. As long as you're having a good time together it should be fine IMO.

I've always considered my significant other someone who would be my partner in crime... more than my friends, even though I know they would be up for it. There's probably some aspects of sharing yourself, maybe it's the part where you're intimate, that makes up for a stronger bond and the notion that you could rely on someone more.

 

[Ereth]

I mean I think what I´m trying to ask is ....what does it feel like?
Do you have to do a tremendoes efort to love that person our does it come naturaly even after 2 years later?

If you have to put in effort to love your partner, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship.

I don't need to date. I got through high school and most of college just fine without dating. I did get lonely sometimes, and deeply so, but I endured. Then I met my boyfriend of almost three years.

I don't have to make myself care about him. My feelings exist because he's the same wonderful person he's always been.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Aside from the obvious physical and familial aspects, safety, security, and comfort. Another set of eyes and ears to listen for intruders, another pair of hands to help with repairs and maintenance that won't cost an arm and a leg to help me with, and should something disastrous like a stroke happen I'm more likely to get help faster than just getting found some days later. (And vicey versey, I like keeping an eye on somebody.) And a friend, it's somebody convenient to chat with when I'm the mood, kick some butt on the games we like to play (or die horribly together by Mr. Creeper on Minecraft...), and somebody I can test my jokes and cooking on.

As for the spark, it never was high on my list and I dreaded the people I had a "fire" for. I find it very uncomfortable and unwelcome, and makes it hard to tell if I really like somebody or if it's just primal instinct. I've always been calmly attracted to my husband and the most excited times would be getting giddy that he was calling or a night of goofing off and laughing. I know that tends to be a dealbreaker for many people when they don't have that firey spark, and some find being called "comfortable" an outright insult, but it's praise from me. I don't like feeling on edge around someone.

 

[bentHnau]

Becouse, at least I think so, you can get and give too the same suport, care etc , from God ...
I know theres... the build a family thing

I have a friend named Mary who says that even the build a family thing is possible with god, but the whole virgin birth thing is a downside.

Family is everything, the most important thing you will ever do. This is what it's all about. My wife,my kids and my grand kids make me very happy. It's not all smooth going, but it's well worth it. What does it feel like? It feels like you have done something good with your life. I hope you are as lucky in life as I have been.

...but global over-population.

I don't like feeling on edge around someone.

I have the same experience. That crazy, out-of-control sort of attraction can be overwhelming to the point of unpleasantness.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I think that, (for all the reasons you listed), no one needs to date. Some people approach dating with an air of desperation, as if they do need it, and that is sad.
That being said, if dating does lead to a lasting and wonderful relationship, maybe a happy marriage and family, then it will be worth it. However, there is no guarantee that that is how it will end. But a lot of people are willing to take that risk, in the hope of such a happy ending,

 

[garnetflower13]

Becouse, at least I think so, you can get and give too the same suport, care etc , from God and friends and your family members right?
I know theres the sex thing and the build a family thing ....but aside from that, why ?

(and about the passion thing i dont realy belive it becouse, it goes away ... I mean theres studies that when your in a relationship for 2 years you kinda start to get desapointed in the person and the ultimate love goes away and you have to chose to love the person (that right there its prety cool XD ) But do you still feel the sparck?)

I mean I think what I´m trying to ask is ....what does it feel like?
Do you have to do a tremendoes efort to love that person our does it come naturaly even after 2 years later?

sorry for the dumb question XD

I have been with my husband for five years, and the love still comes naturally. We have only been married for two years, and we are also good friends. I like having someone to watch mushy movies with, as well as action flicks. I like also having someone to cook for and who cooks for me. Somebody to laugh at obscure things that leave most people puzzled. Like the time we were grocery shopping and somebody sneezed in the next aisle and we cracked up with laughter because they sounded just like the Lion from the Wizard of Oz and we both thought of it at the same time.

 

[Randomperson]

I have been with my husband for five years, and the love still comes naturally. We have only been married for two years, and we are also good friends. I like having someone to watch mushy movies with, as well as action flicks. I like also having someone to cook for and who cooks for me. Somebody to laugh at obscure things that leave most people puzzled. Like the time we were grocery shopping and somebody sneezed in the next aisle and we cracked up with laughter because they sounded just like the Lion from the Wizard of Oz and we both thought of it at the same time.

This is what I would like as well. As for the family thing, if you do not want one, no worries, there are 7+ billion hairless apes running around defiling the earth as it is, no need for everyone to make more, we could actually do with a few billion less to ease up on the defiling .

 

[Daniela]

This is what I would like as well. As for the family thing, if you do not want one, no worries, there are 7+ billion hairless apes running around defiling the earth as it is, no need for everyone to make more, we could actually do with a few billion less to ease up on the defiling .

well you can adopt XD thats an option too

 

[May Black]

There is a level of intimacy that you cannot achieve with your family or friends. I cannot say how it is with God, since I'm agnostic at best, but I'd imagine it quite one sided. Partnership to me is more about the things I don't have to say when I'm with him. It fills my life with small moments of warmth, like when I get up early to go to work and find him lying on my side of the bed when I walk in to tell him goodbye, and I know why he's there because I do the same. It feels like the more we know each other the more we assimilate. We've known each other for nearly ten years, been intimate for about four. If anything, I feel we love each other more the longer we are together.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Becouse, at least I think so, you can get and give too the same suport, care etc , from God and friends and your family members right?

In the case of family being one's parents and siblings, people often grow apart from their parenst and siblings, and are not as close in adulthood as they were when young. Even when they remain emotionally close, they are usually living separately, sometimes at a great distance. When people fall in love and get married, they form a new family.
As for friends, one's romantic interest or spouse can be one's closest friend.
I am very religious. However, some other religious people I know look upon their marriages as a calling from God, and married life as something that (if lived rightly) is pleasing to God and a way to grow spiritually. In the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament.

 

[clg114]

There is a level of intimacy that you cannot achieve with your family or friends. I cannot say how it is with God, since I'm agnostic at best, but I'd imagine it quite one sided. Partnership to me is more about the things I don't have to say when I'm with him. It fills my life with small moments of warmth, like when I get up early to go to work and find him lying on my side of the bed when I walk in to tell him goodbye, and I know why he's there because I do the same. It feels like the more we know each other the more we assimilate. We've known each other for nearly ten years, been intimate for about four. If anything, I feel we love each other more the longer we are together.

You are right and raise a good point. The love you have for your kids, grandkids and the rest of your family is very strong indeed. But your strongest love should be for your spouse, the one you will spend all of your life with. Kids grow up and start families of their own. You and your spouse will still be together, carrying on.

 

[Judge]

The foundation of most social conventions lies in peer pressure.

That you're supposed to do something because everyone says or expects as such.

No other reason.

Is that a valid reason? No. It's just a social convention that works for many, but not all.

Dating is dating. It's not marriage, nor is it required to repopulate the species.