Why Do You Feel/Have Anxiety?

[BlueSky Aozora]

Hi, i would like to ask a stupid question..

Why people on the spectrum, especially aspies, always have anxiety? 24/7 anxiety?

I'm not sure whether this analogy is suitable or not..

Is it like, MS-DOS (people on the spectrum) having trouble/burn-out because it's expected to perform like, for example Windows 10 (NT people)?

Of course managing to do everything with command prompt stuffs like in linux (?) is awesome. The disadvantage is it lacks the 'social skill' that a graphic user interface has.

Also, seems like people on the spectrum needs line-by-line guidance, like how a programmer must tell the computer how to do something by writing every single line.. Or else it cannot perform.

Or like it needs to be fed with lots of data then it can do machine learning. Similar to how people on the spectrum learns by mimicking, but having trouble in new situations. And difference is, computer will always accept the data, while a human might refuse to learn..

Anyway, is it the 'processing' that makes you have anxiety?

Is there any time where you don't feel anxiety at all? When?

 

[Sarah S]

For me the reason im on 24 /7 Anxiety is my crappy life situation and the constant adding of a never ending flood of bad things coming at me on permanent basis. Have been this way since i was born and continue to this day

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

For me the reason im on 24 /7 Anxiety is my crappy life situation and the constant adding of a never ending flood of bad things coming at me on permanent basis. Have been this way since i was born and continue to this day

Dear Sarah, i always love to read your posts. But didn't know that you're going through so much..

 

[Sarah S]

Dear Sarah, i always love to read your posts. But didn't know that you're going through so much..

Im honerd Oh its true my life is as it is BUT compared to so many with mien and other diagnosis its nothing and make my story look like a princess story in comparison

 

[Progster]

The first point I'd like to make is that is isn't always possible to pinpoint why a situation is making me anxious, why, for example, I don't want to go into a shop. I just know that I'm anxious, but don't know why. It could be because I've subconsciously picked up on something and not processed it yet on a conscious level. Work and traveling make me anxious (or very tense), but I really don't know why, but they do.

1. Social anxiety. Dislike of people looking at me, watching me. Being self-conscious due to my being aware that I'm different or socially awkward. Fear of being judged. Past unpleasant experiences in similar situations or with people in general, bullying, for example. Lack of confidence in social abilities.

2. Becoming overwhelmed by over-thinking. For example, my partner is talking about buying a caravan (trailer). For him, it's simple, a nice idea, we can go on holiday, and that's it. For me, it's: where will we get the money, he needs to save money for his aging parents with complex medical needs. It's more expensive that he imagines. It needs legal paperwork, service, space to keep it, insurance, and will incur a whole lot of expenses that he can't imagine. It will need equipment. What kind of caravan to choose, a second hand one might need repairs and maintenance, we will need to buy equipment, we'll need to go far to get it and might need a special license for it. My mind is going at it from all angles and there are so many unknowns and "what ifs?", it feels huge and overhwelming.

3. I have the same worries as anyone else - finances, issues with family and work, etc.

4. Worries about being able to cope in a new environment or new situation (this is not unique to people on the spectrum).

5. Hypervigilence and not being able to ever truly relax - a constant background unease. Hyper-aware and on the lookout. I'm always tense around people, feel more relaxed when alone.

 

[Pats]

The first point I'd like to make is that is isn't always possible to pinpoint why a situation is making me anxious, why, for example, I don't want to go into a shop. I just know that I'm anxious, but don't know why. It could be because I've subconsciously picked up on something and not processed it yet on a conscious level. Work and traveling make me anxious (or very tense), but I really don't know why, but they do.

1. Social anxiety. Dislike of people looking at me, watching me. Being self-conscious due to my being aware that I'm different or socially awkward. Fear of being judged. Past unpleasant experiences in similar situations or with people in general, bullying, for example. Lack of confidence in social abilities.

2. Becoming overwhelmed by over-thinking. For example, my partner is talking about buying a caravan (trailer). For him, it's simple, a nice idea, we can go on holiday, and that's it. For me, it's: where will we get the money, he needs to save money for his aging parents with complex medical needs. It's more expensive that he imagines. It needs legal paperwork, service, space to keep it, insurance, and will incur a whole lot of expenses that he can't imagine. It will need equipment. What kind of caravan to choose, a second hand one might need repairs and maintenance, we will need to buy equipment, we'll need to go far to get it and might need a special license for it. My mind is going at it from all angles and there are so many unknowns and "what ifs?", it feels huge and overhwelming.

3. I have the same worries as anyone else - finances, issues with family and work, etc.

4. Worries about being able to cope in a new environment or new situation (this is not unique to people on the spectrum).

5. Hypervigilence and not being able to ever truly relax - a constant background unease. Hyper-aware and on the lookout. I'm always tense around people, feel more relaxed when alone.

Ditto....
I had never heard the term hypervigilant, though. That's interesting - that's ME. And I hate it. Even sleeping, I wake up with tight fists. I was going to physical therapy after my last neck surgery and the therapist was trying to massage my neck muscles and kept telling me to relax. I said I was trying - that's as good as it gets.

 

[Tom]

I like the 'wired' or 'programmed' differently analogy, and use it myself, for people readily get an idea we are talking about nature not choices, but it is a simplification also. We are not digital machines, but biological, making heavy use of chemical and electro-chemical processes, among others (which is why medications can have effect). These things also depend upon sub-organs and structures within the brain so 'programming' alone probably isn't the whole story.

 

[Aru]

I've had it my whole life, Even as a kid i would always cry to go home after a very short time and panic a lot, It's been a thing i've always always had and hasn't turned up over time and the biggest thing that always confuses me is why? It hasn't come up from situations through life or anything it's literally just.. always been there, It just seems to be wired into WHO i am as a person and i'm guessing it's part of my aspergers? I've been trying to figure it out for years but as others have said it can happen at complete random too, for even silly things so everyone has to be really careful with me, I wish i could offer an explanation to it but even i can't find one so far, Some things such as processing and people anxiety make it worse but that's the only part i can understand

 

[HidinginPlainSight]

Why people on the spectrum, especially aspies, always have anxiety? 24/7 anxiety?

24/7 would be a huge overstatement for me. There are situations, situations that I usually avoid, but are sometimes unavoidable. I should also note that I don't feel anxiety the same way each time.

Some of these include walking into certain types of stores. I hate being asked if I need help with something in a clothing store and it gets worse with each inquiry. If there isn't anybody walking around asking this question then I'm fine.

Being forced into work gathering where you're supposed to not talk about work. For some reason, a reason that completely escapes me, it's seen as productive to have superficial conversations with people you share an indirect work environment with. I never have anything to say, I don't know where to stand and the minutes tend to feel like hours. Even the mentioning mentioning of such events gives me extreme anxiety.

Someone knocking on my door. Not that I ever answer it, but it gives me anxiety for some reason.

Don't like talking on the phone much either.

Strangely, I don't feel any anxiety for a first date or a job interview. Something like that, where there is a clear protocol that's rather easy to follow, I don't feel anxious. Might have something to do with the fact I don't get heavily invested in the outcomes of either, but the same is true for work gatherings, so who knows.

 

[the_tortoise]

Is there any time where you don't feel anxiety at all? When?

There are a lot of times I don't feel anxious. Anxiety is not my normal state....if I start to feel it all the time, it means something is very wrong in my life or something terrible has happened to me and I'm having difficulty coping.

Anyway, is it the 'processing' that makes you have anxiety?

Not really. But I do experience anxiety when I think/get the impression that I'm expected to be able to understand and do things that I can't understand/do, because it is a rare person who will be able to accept that I can't understand/can't do it and I usually have no idea how to explain myself.....so I anticipate problems/bad reactions.

I am far more likely to become frustrated than anxious when it's just a matter of processing issues and I don't anticipate any external difficulties arising from my lack of ability to understand/do things.

 

[Isadoorian]

Anxiety's one of the co-morbids that comes with Autism; plain and simple.

 

[Fino]

I believe the majority of my anxiety is caused by a fear of people I care about suddenly feeling differently about me and being less kind or no longer associating with me, all of which is, I believe, caused by the fact that I don't understand the majority of people's behavior and reactions and so it all seems quite random and sudden.

Another portion of anxiety is fear of people, mostly strangers, randomly deciding to hurt me in some way.

Unpredictiabilty seems to be a common denominator.

 

[asperagus]

I think it's ymmv. My anxiety is limited to certain contexts (triggers). Outside of that, I don't feel much anxiety. I think many Aspies are fairly calm and live with little anxiety. Inevitably, it scales up with one's environment.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

2. Becoming overwhelmed by over-thinking. For example, my partner is talking about buying a caravan (trailer). For him, it's simple, a nice idea, we can go on holiday, and that's it. For me, it's: where will we get the money, he needs to save money for his aging parents with complex medical needs. It's more expensive that he imagines. It needs legal paperwork, service, space to keep it, insurance, and will incur a whole lot of expenses that he can't imagine. It will need equipment. What kind of caravan to choose, a second hand one might need repairs and maintenance, we will need to buy equipment, we'll need to go far to get it and might need a special license for it. My mind is going at it from all angles and there are so many unknowns and "what ifs?", it feels huge and overhwelming.

That's being responsible
But yeah, why some people can just decide things like they don't worry about them too much. Maybe they already thought about the pros & cons, but man, they seem like they process all the info so fast, and they seem don't feel overwhelmed at all.

5. Hypervigilence and not being able to ever truly relax - a constant background unease. Hyper-aware and on the lookout. I'm always tense around people, feel more relaxed when alone.

Like a constant background noise? Uh that's not fun to live with. But can the anxiety be used as a good stimulus?

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

..the therapist was trying to massage my neck muscles and kept telling me to relax. I said I was trying - that's as good as it gets.

It must be a bit annoying to be told "just relaaaxxx....."
Or maybe it'll make us relaxed?

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

I like the 'wired' or 'programmed' differently analogy, and use it myself, for people readily get an idea we are talking about nature not choices, but it is a simplification also. We are not digital machines, but biological, making heavy use of chemical and electro-chemical processes, among others (which is why medications can have effect). These things also depend upon sub-organs and structures within the brain so 'programming' alone probably isn't the whole story.

Thanks, Tom. Somebody said somewhere in the forum, that NT have most of the 'processing' automatic.. While people on the spectrum don't. Like how NT can easily process social cues, and don't feel overwhelmed easily with simple problems.

Yeah, digital machines can easily (?) be tested, but biological/electro-chemical not so easy.. Even to simulate/predict what a drug could do to the cells etc requires super-duper computers with the whole building full of electronics/servers (?)... And even if we test to animals/humans, it's not easy to observe..

So complicated!

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

24/7 would be a huge overstatement for me. There are situations, situations that I usually avoid, but are sometimes unavoidable. I should also note that I don't feel anxiety the same way each time.

Some of these include walking into certain types of stores. I hate being asked if I need help with something in a clothing store and it gets worse with each inquiry. If there isn't anybody walking around asking this question then I'm fine.

Being forced into work gathering where you're supposed to not talk about work. For some reason, a reason that completely escapes me, it's seen as productive to have superficial conversations with people you share an indirect work environment with. I never have anything to say, I don't know where to stand and the minutes tend to feel like hours. Even the mentioning mentioning of such events gives me extreme anxiety.

Someone knocking on my door. Not that I ever answer it, but it gives me anxiety for some reason.

Don't like talking on the phone much either.

Strangely, I don't feel any anxiety for a first date or a job interview. Something like that, where there is a clear protocol that's rather easy to follow, I don't feel anxious. Might have something to do with the fact I don't get heavily invested in the outcomes of either, but the same is true for work gatherings, so who knows.

Everything you said is so relatable.

Something like that, where there is a clear protocol that's rather easy to follow, I don't feel anxious. Might have something to do with the fact I don't get heavily invested in the outcomes of either

So, a clear guidance/manual helps. And lowering expectation also helps.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

I've had it my whole life, Even as a kid i would always cry to go home after a very short time and panic a lot, It's been a thing i've always always had and hasn't turned up over time and the biggest thing that always confuses me is why? It hasn't come up from situations through life or anything it's literally just.. always been there, It just seems to be wired into WHO i am as a person and i'm guessing it's part of my aspergers? I've been trying to figure it out for years but as others have said it can happen at complete random too, for even silly things so everyone has to be really careful with me, I wish i could offer an explanation to it but even i can't find one so far, Some things such as processing and people anxiety make it worse but that's the only part i can understand

It must be hard for you. Are you feeling much better compared to your childhood days? Hope so..

It's difficult when it happens randomly. If we know the triggers, we can avoid it... but if we can change the trigger to not be the trigger anymore, that'll be better.. but is it possible?

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

There are a lot of times I don't feel anxious. Anxiety is not my normal state....if I start to feel it all the time, it means something is very wrong in my life or something terrible has happened to me and I'm having difficulty coping.



Not really. But I do experience anxiety when I think/get the impression that I'm expected to be able to understand and do things that I can't understand/do, because it is a rare person who will be able to accept that I can't understand/can't do it and I usually have no idea how to explain myself.....so I anticipate problems/bad reactions.

I am far more likely to become frustrated than anxious when it's just a matter of processing issues and I don't anticipate any external difficulties arising from my lack of ability to understand/do things.

Oh, I thought everybody on the spectrum has constant background anxiety.. Are you on the spectrum? If so, how wrong I am.. but that's a good news too. I wish everybody could be rid of anxiety.. or reduced to a healthy dose.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

Anxiety's one of the co-morbids that comes with Autism; plain and simple.

Simple is the best