Why Do You Feel/Have Anxiety?

[Gracey]

I understood anxiety to come from the same place as our fight, flight, freeze response.

A fear of ....whatever ... Consistantly triggered over a period of time becomes an unconscious habit.

The body is flooded with hormones when the brain recognises the things we fear.
(a habit or automatic, unconscious response means we may feel the effects without consciously remembering why)

We no longer have to fight to the death or run; to escape being a meal for something else.

Chances are we're stood on a street/sidewalk,
Or in a crowded area, a meeting, an overwhelming situation,
With nothing to fight and nothing to run from ( to escape death)
and a brain and body pumped full of hormones, primed and ready to do just that.

Awesome survival mechanism in a situation it wasn't created for.

(just my thoughts)

 

[Canismajoris]

Is there any time where you don't feel anxiety at all? When?

1. While having sex
2. just after sex
3. most mornings (I am just tired and grumpy xD)

 

[AmbitiousGirl]

My aspect:
I would say it started when I was 8 years old when I was sexually abused. For the longest time however I thought it only started when I got bullied in middle school, but I think it all leads back to the abuse. I was abused by someone I trusted. The trust was lost because of the abuse and afterwards I no longer trusted anyone.
As I got older, I always felt like nothing I said was good enough and all my social interactions failed, and that this was completely my fault. The mistakes were probably due to autism (which I wasn't aware of having, I was only diagnosed 1.5 years ago).
In university I started to harm myself for it and had no sense of self value. With therapy the self harming stopped, but the low self esteem and anxiety stayed. I just started to care a little bit less.

I simply no longer believe in people actually liking me. I always feel like my friends secretly hate me and when I was in a relationship I had severe relationship anxiety: I would feel like I'm not good enough for my boyfriend and that he would leave me anytime. This caused me to become overly attached and tried everything to please him (to keep peace). I agreed with his opinion all the time and I was scared of having a different opinion because of what he might think of my opinion. I actually changed and this scared him away (in each relationship), which is what I'm scared off.

It's ironic that the thing you're scared of the most, actually happens because of your anxiety related to it. It makes me not so positive about my future. It has happened three times in 1 year now and the last time it was so painful to feel him get more distant and eventually dump me, that I no longer feel worthy of a relationship.

Conclusion:
I have social anxiety and a past of self harm due to it, and I have relationship anxiety.
It was caused by abuse and undiagnosed autism. If I - and perhaps my family- had known I had autism, it would have been easier for me to forgive myself for my flaws in social interactions. And then maybe my mom wouldn't have pushed me so much to be outgoing and social (I know she had good intentions).

Without knowing, it decreased my self esteem and confidence. Being bullied and short relationships made me only feel worse about myself.

When I don't feel so anxious
In university I forced myself to go to social events. After weeks of doing so, I started to feel less anxious before these events and my anxiety improved. But being an introvert, it made me completely exhausted and thus I took rest, causing me to get back into the comfort zone.
So when I'm often exposed, the anxiety is less. If I'm at home a lot, I get very anxious thinking about upcoming events.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

Thank you for replying this. I tried to search for this thread, but couldn't find it, thus couldn't reply when I had time..

Conclusion:
I have social anxiety and a past of self harm due to it, and I have relationship anxiety.
It was caused by abuse and undiagnosed autism. If I - and perhaps my family- had known I had autism, it would have been easier for me to forgive myself for my flaws in social interactions. And then maybe my mom wouldn't have pushed me so much to be outgoing and social (I know she had good intentions).

Without knowing, it decreased my self esteem and confidence. Being bullied and short relationships made me only feel worse about myself.

What you've written is so heart-touching. I respect you for how far you've come, despite of all the sadness, difficulties you've gone through..

Yeah, people have good intention.. sometimes I think they think they're doing us a favour by giving us chances/opportunities, in pretence of for our "betterment".. it's not easy to refuse.. how arrogant & irritating, yet I cannot lash out my anger at them. How frustrating.

Which leads to this:

When I don't feel so anxious
In university I forced myself to go to social events. After weeks of doing so, I started to feel less anxious before these events and my anxiety improved. But being an introvert, it made me completely exhausted and thus I took rest, causing me to get back into the comfort zone.
So when I'm often exposed, the anxiety is less. If I'm at home a lot, I get very anxious thinking about upcoming events.

I feel this too. Yes, we feel less anxious.. but the tiredness!!

I'm tired of being with these cheerful extroverts.. especially the colleagues who are not from my group. Seems like they find me awkward, and I have always been ignored when I tried to say something. Yes, I will feel less anxious if I try to spend more time with them, but I cant seem to fit in into their already-closed-knitted cheerful group. And I don't have fun at all with them. Only tiredness of being with people.

I like to be with people, but now i'm tired. If only the extroverts understand, and not pushing us to be social..

I'm sorry for whining. Thank you for sharing your experience. It might be rude, but i'm glad that we're somewhat alike, although not 100%. Hope after this, life will be more fun, or at least bearable, for all of us.

 

[Kit]

I don't feel my anxiety is 24/7 and it comes and goes, same as for my other issues but they are all ongoing. Mine comes because I can't handle stress like a normal person and things that most people would find annoying is stressful for me. I also need things to go my way or I get anxious. I also need to be in control of my environment or else I get anxious. Even giving me demands makes me anxious and having to hear my children fight and whine and I can't process what is being said when they whine. I feel I have anxiety because of how my mind is wired and the world does not work the way I operate. I also get overwhelmed by too many steps and don't know where to start.

I definitely have problems with conflicts so confrontations are hard for me and tone is always very important and if your tone is too negative or hostile or rude, I will shut down and either block you or whatever because I don't want to interact with you. Even yelling at me is a way to ruin my day because I am so upset, it's hard for me to focus on my job.

I also get money anxiety and I don't like any change in my budget or when things go up.

Looking back in my childhood I often wonder if the reason for me getting upset too easily, being tender hearted, was because I had anxiety back then too but it was totally different then. I always knew I got hurt feelings more and got upset more easily than others like if I came home from school and saw someone was in my room and they moved stuff and left things out of place or they took something, that would get me very upset and it was a way to ruin my evening. My mom would often get mad at me too for my screaming and crying and I couldn't understand why she was being so "mean" and when she would tell me I was being a big baby. I wonder if that was my anxiety.

I approach people different so when I get out of my shell and start interacting with people online, when something goes wrong with it like I get blocked or I get falsely accused or the person takes what I say out of context, etc. that is a way to make my anxiety flare up and I started feeling bad about myself and I am reminded how much I such socially because even I can't come off right to others without being misunderstood. Then I think this must be my anxiety here because I am now worrying and now I am afraid to interact with people again and every time I do, something goes wrong and someone always has to prove to me why I have anxiety. "Oh I don't have social problems because of anxiety, I have anxiety because I have social problems so my anxiety is rational and justified." I used to not be this way as a child or in my early twenties. If someone misjudged me, I just thought "Oh their problem" and move on. To me it was just that one person, not a bunch of people thinking the same thing. Now my anxiety says "If one person feels this way about you, who knows how many others feel that way too about you, your social skills really suck."

 

[Aspychata]

l like linux, it seems straight foward to me. But l messed around in DOS. So l do think l reset my thinking process and anxiety in different ways, massages, exercising, downtime, doing something new, talking to a neat friend, quiet and darkness, or zone out with a movie or book or glass of wine. l switch all these around to keep it lively. Finally, if super overwhelmed, l focus on the issue, and decide how to correct or migate the parameters. Finally there is the reward system for going into and coming out of the worm hole of anxiety; meals out, new purchases, donuts, treating my older female friend to a meal.

 

[Aspychata]

Because of my life experiences, my awareness of these experiences, the bizarre and unlikely nature and number of these experiences, and my reactions to these experiences, I have no human counterpart, and no support group.
I am all alone in the bizarre nature of my existence. I am a support group of one with no company, and I am understood by no one.
I exist in a dreamlike parallel universe, and I am the only entity in this universe.
The result is frequent bouts of anxiety.

Sometimes we are truly islands because of the paths we have been forced to take. There is no understanding, and you are only met with disbelief. Our experinces throw us into a class that there is no escape from yet we must navigate the daily life in front of us.

 

[Wolfnox]

Sometimes we are truly islands because of the paths we have been forced to take. There is no understanding, and you are only met with disbelief. Our experinces throw us into a class that there is no escape from yet we must navigate the daily life in front of us.

I agree with this. Its like wandering new and uncharted in a ship. You take it slow,watch for hazardous, and ask others for advice. And sometimes your experiences help others.

 

[Edward764]

Sometimes we are truly islands because of the paths we have been forced to take. There is no understanding, and you are only met with disbelief. Our experinces throw us into a class that there is no escape from yet we must navigate the daily life in front of us.

Unfortunately. I am going through wired anxiety phases again.
I have a hard time coming to grips with being 61 years old without any significant contributions to society.
Without bizarre distractions and synchronicities in academia ,of which I counted 86 of them, and my own self sabotage in trying to find the elusive concept of academic satisfaction rather than career paths that were realistic, maybe I could have been successful.
I feel I should not be enjoying life because I have not earned the right to enjoy life.
Life's pleasures, such as travel and parties, should be earned based on the academic satisfaction and/or career satisfaction and accomplishments one has achieved. I have achieved nothing substantial, so do not deserve the fun that life has to offer. Natures forces have been cruel in the most bizarre ways, and I failed to overcome this bizarreness.
I have never been out a date, but then again, I never earned the right to date, let alone a relationship.
I have written the first three pages of my autobiography, which at an hour a page will likely take about four to five hundred hours to write the first draft.

My super consciousness has both kept me sane and free of drugs or suicidal thoughts, but ruined potential opportunities at success. It has been a mixed bag.
I hope getting back to work soon will end my isolation, and some degree of normalcy will return.
I have been wired for two months. I even feel like I am suffocating when I have a cold drink, making me aware of nasal congestion.

 

[Wolfnox]

I relate. Exercise and good music really helps as does comedy.

 

[BlueSky Aozora]

... I am now worrying and now I am afraid to interact with people again and every time I do, something goes wrong and someone always has to prove to me why I have anxiety. "Oh I don't have social problems because of anxiety, I have anxiety because I have social problems so my anxiety is rational and justified." I used to not be this way as a child or in my early twenties. If someone misjudged me, I just thought "Oh their problem" and move on. To me it was just that one person, not a bunch of people thinking the same thing. Now my anxiety says "If one person feels this way about you, who knows how many others feel that way too about you, your social skills really suck."

Feel the same way too.. yeah, when I was younger, I feel like a lot 'tougher'.. guess when our age accumulates, our brain learns more bad experiences too.. thus resulting in lower self-esteem, then social problem, then anxiety.

Need to stop overthinking.. let's deal with one thing at a time..

 

[anxiety247]

24/7 anxiety...

1. I get anxiety about leaving the house, because I’m afraid I will have to talk to someone. I am afraid to talk to someone because I am very socially awkward. Usually my mind goes blank when someone asks me a question and then I feel dumb and embarrassed. Or I just don’t know how to respond, or accidentally slip by saying something rude/mean that I didn’t mean to let out.

2. I get anxiety about the future. About whether everyone will get tired of being around me and I end up completely alone, or without a job if I can’t handle any difficult situations. About whether I could continue to be financially stable with or without the help of someone else.

3. I kind of get anxiety about other people knowing I have social anxiety, then hoping that they don’t think I’m weird for it. I don’t like people watching me or staring, especially if I’m eating because my hands may shake if I’m nervous or feel like I’m doing something wrong or weird.

4. I get anxiety about the people I care about, whether something bad may happen to them because I can’t deal with the thought of losing them. I know that majority of people have this same anxiety but I feel like it’s more intense for me and feel like I’m having an anxiety attack if I think about it.

5. Anxiety that I’m doing something wrong or not enough. That everyone talks about me behind their backs. That maybe they will gang up on me and tell me I’m making things up and to grow up instead of supporting me.

6. It can go on and on. Basically I am always feeling anxiety and I think my brain always finds some excuse for it. Maybe there isn’t always an exact reason and that it’s always there.


Except for every now and then I will have good moments to distract myself, like laughing at a joke, being immersed in my favorite games, or just something that I love doing, but it doesn’t usually last long and end up thinking too much about stuff again and notice my anxiety.

 

[anxiety247]

Even the mentioning mentioning of such events gives me extreme anxiety.

Omg I remember in school whenever the teachers said “present to the class...” I would literally have a panic attack. The time between the teacher and the actual day that I had to present something would be like complete hell and I could not have fun doing anything. I would try to do something fun to distract my mind but then “presentation” creeps up in my mind and I would panic.

There were some really nice teachers that allowed me to present to only them or to do an alternate assignment in replace of presenting but I’ve had a few awful teachers that were like “no, you are presenting or you get an F”.

Sometimes I even took the F, but there were other times where the teacher made the class so difficult that I had no choice if I wanted to pass.

I tried explaining my anxiety to them, but one teacher was all like “but if I let you not present this time, then what about the other times we are doing presentations?” and then I panic even more because I’m like oh fuk there are gonna be more presentations?

 

[Fino]

I never presented, I just took the F, but it never meant failing the class. That's crazy. Unless it's a public speaking course.

 

[some/aspies/need/hugs/13]

My anxiety comes from large groups, loud noise, other men hugging me, violence, cussing, and all manner of other things... But I can stop some of it by taking action

 

[Aspychata]

l less anxiety because l anticipate more these days. So l anticipating this car to turn here, l anticipate tag team drivers, l anticipate stupidity from the general population. As a result, l have become more comfortable because it's easy to see what plays out next.

I have less anxiety at work because l call employees out on their behaviour when normally l said nothing before.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

For me the reason im on 24 /7 Anxiety is my crappy life situation and the constant adding of a never ending flood of bad things coming at me on permanent basis. Have been this way since i was born and continue to this day

Same here. I'm tortured by everyday stimuli to the point of getting suicidal thoughts, and I end up not eating because of all the bad things that constantly happen to me.

 

[Sarah S]

Same here. I'm tortured by everyday stimuli to the point of getting suicidal thoughts, and I end up not eating because of all the bad things that constantly happen to me.

Belive me understand and like i have done GET profetinal help NOW Please (feel free to pm me if you whant )