Who Wants To Be Aspergical?

[Gomendosi]

This is something I have a hard time coming to grips with and would appreciate all manner of input on the subject!

I am Aspergical; it isn?t something I aspired to become or worked towards, it is a classification that put a name to years of being so far removed from everything that is perceived as natural that it interrupted daily functioning from a base level, I couldn?t hold a job, relationship, or even understand the people around me and as a result of that, Aspersers was suggested by one psychiatrist who referred me to another one that confirmed it.
Now I am all for self diagnosis, if you think that you have it too then I am not going to discriminate against you for not having a diagnosis as really, a diagnosis is just someone who knows more about it than you, saying that that is what you have! And also, not being accepting or inclusive isn't what Aspergers is all about.

The bit I don't get, the part where my confusion steps in and says "this ain't right", is where a person who is blatantly 'normal' in every sense of societies standards IE; appears affluent, has more friends than the amount of people I have ever known, has had and kept successful partnerships (even marriages), is able to interact on a daily basis with no effort at all, in fact craves it...

How is it that they can turn around and claim with any sense of decency that they have Aspergers?

Ahhh no, you just think it's cool at the moment the same as any passing fad, you want to sit there and tell me that because you didn?t like fish when you where a kid, because you occasionally clapped your hands when you thought something was funny, because you don?t understand rap music or because you don't laugh at every joke you hear, that must mean you have Aspergers!

Try locking yourself in a room for years on end or developing an eating disorder, try stimming so hard you can only stop by self harm or having an obsession that is so all consuming it has ruined familial relationships, try having an irrational phobia people tell you you will grow out of or being ostracised by everyone you meet because they are too shallow to look past your perceived abnormalities.

Huff, Huff, Huff (breathes deeply) ok calm down...

And then, you have the gall to tell me in the same sentence; "you can get over it", "it is something you can put behind you", "If you work harder you can fit in"...
You ridicule me my differences and lack of understanding and you misquote me and defame me; you suggest I can be better? If you understood Aspergers at all you would know I am already at 100% capacity with trying, I have an overabundance of wanting to understand and the last thing I need is you making my lot worse by having me trying to work out where you?re coming from.

My previous boss is a prime example of this.







What are your thoughts on pretenders in the midst, people who want to be the flavour of the month, somebody who genuinely doesn't know **** from clay but wants to sculpt anyway?

 

[Christian T]

I totally agree with you. They're as bad as those slacktivists who pretend to be saving the world with facebook likes and those who try to present themselves as accepting of racially discriminated in superficial ways, without "walking the walk".

 

[Arashi222]

I had to think because would I trade what I am if I could? Probably not because then I wouldn't be me. However,to say that I have not struggled my entire life and finally having understood myself and my mom finally understanding me. I can say that it is a struggle but it is not a flavor of the month. If someone does their research and believes like a lot of us in my age group and go get tested to be diagnosed that's great. I understand not wanting to get diagnosed there is stigma both ways sometimes. I think that posers are in any culture, but I see myself as someone who happens to have AS. I am still me, I haven't changed at all I still do all those things that I did before my official diagnosis I just have a name for the hardships I have suffered in some ways. I think that people often want answers and the flavor of the month can be appealing. Not saying its right, or wrong it just is because on some level everyone wants to fit in.

 

[King_Oni]

And you know which ones are even more interesting?

The ones pretending to have aspergers like your example, then 'reverting' back to normal and as such tell you 'if I can, you can as well'

 

[total-recoil]

I no longer see much point in being diagnosed. Truth is it wouldn't make any difference, given the way people with far more significant disadvantages are now being treated. I heard of one woman who had terminal cancer who was pushed into a work program, given the economy over here is pretty flimsy. Also, when I contacted my local aspergers society, they said they were pretty much struggling for funding so more than likely I'll be volunteering and just getting involved.
What I try to do now is structure my life in ways where aspergers isn't going to be a hindrance (extrovert activity), or may be an advantage (research).
Maybe in pop culture there has been a bit of an aspie trend thing but we all know being aspie is a rough ride to enlightenment.

I had to think because would I trade what I am if I could? Probably not because then I wouldn't be me. However,to say that I have not struggled my entire life and finally having understood myself and my mom finally understanding me. I can say that it is a struggle but it is not a flavor of the month. If someone does their research and believes like a lot of us in my age group and go get tested to be diagnosed that's great. I understand not wanting to get diagnosed there is stigma both ways sometimes. I think that posers are in any culture, but I see myself as someone who happens to have AS. I am still me, I haven't changed at all I still do all those things that I did before my official diagnosis I just have a name for the hardships I have suffered in some ways. I think that people often want answers and the flavor of the month can be appealing. Not saying its right, or wrong it just is because on some level everyone wants to fit in.

 

[Serendipity]

Self-diagnosing is not good, in my opinion. It's better to have it confirmed by a professional than to go along thinking that you have it when in actual fact you might now.

 

[King_Oni]

Self-diagnosing is not good, in my opinion. It's better to have it confirmed by a professional than to go along thinking that you have it when in actual fact you might now.

Reading posts by members all across this and other autism forums, even that diagnosis (or misdiagnosis) is open to interpretation of the professional. I'm not saying that if I think I have autism, a professional should automatically give me the green light, but in some areas across the world an autism diagnosis is still open to subjectivity and cultural influence and nothing that's based on facts just like any other mental health issue that's open for interpretation.

I do agree that a professional might have more experience and knowledge, but across the globe their knowledge isn't the be all of end all so it seemed. Heck, there's therapists out there that flat out deny certain disorders, even if it's in the DSM.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

gomendosi ... you make an excellent point.

Reminds me of a couple nights ago. I wrote a post on facebook to vent about the poor customer service I received at a fast food restaurant in our area after a long and stressful day when I was literally at my worst. A person who was a friend on facebook, someone who had never before commented on my facebook wall decided to comment for the first time. His comment was #firstworldproblems. Sometimes I want to slap morons like that in the face. They are happy to give other people **** about living in western societies but they won't give up their creature comforts or lift a finger to volunteer to make the world a better place. They won't go live in a poorer society and share their plights. Kind of reminds me of this. Happy to wear the label while its cool but then toss it aside when its not.

Needless to say when I can be ****ed paying attention to facebook again I will be going in and removing anyone who isn't a family member, a dear friend I like to stay in contact with or necessary for my volunteer work. So about half the morons I've collected over time.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

Oh and I'm also going to say I'm proud to be an aspie. I would like to change the social anxiety and maybe do better in that department but the rest I love and wouldn't change for anything.

 

[Biblio-Love]

I did not know that disorders could come and go out of fashion. Maybe next year it will be bipolar?

 

[King_Oni]

I did not know that disorders could come and go out of fashion. Maybe next year it will be bipolar?

Well, this trend is believed to be a reason why so many people claim to have Asperger's.

Before that it was AD(H)D.

ANd I'm interested to see what the next big thing is. I'm guessing internet addiction, since that's going to be an actual diagnosis in the new book.

 

[Loomis]

I suspect there are very few self diagnosed aspies on this forum who are mistaken in their diagnosis. A non-aspie would quickly tire and get bored with our peculiar style of complaining about the NT world. We aspie/auties understand each other quite well and we clearly see how different the NT world is from our world. We know we are among kindred spirits here in this forum. We get it when Gomendosi describes and vents his frustrations with pathetic NT aspie-posers.

When a NT visits our site we treat them respectfully; we also easily recognize their NT style. NT's who are interested in us are always welcome here but I cannot imagine an aspie-poser would stick around very long.

As far as I am concerned I do not care a whit whether people here are diagnosed professionally or self-diagnosed.

 

[Soup]

@ Gomendosi: you raise some thought-provoking ideas.

Looking at the way things seem to be going now, Asperger's is suddenly becoming less trendy since the media irresponsibly & falsely alluded to it being linked to mass murderer. The thing I'm hearing a lot of people in the media (& on the teaching/education circuit) going on about is Adult ADHD & Adult ADD.

Some of these people may indeed be legit cases who 'slipped through the cracks' as kids or got misdiagnosed. For ex, those who were low income groups were not likely to get signaled & referred anywhere because there was a lack of concern, a lack of resources & a tendency to mis-attribute their behaviours to disciplinary issues. After all, it's cheaper to punish a kid than to find out what really is going on & provide support.

A similar thing happened to many Aspies such as female ones overall: many 'experts' even now believe that this is a males only condition. There is a disturbing socioeconomic bias in Asperger's diagnoses in children because since the lengthy testing process is not covered by medicare & few supplemental insurance plans cover it, only parents who are both very aware & can afford to shell out 1200$ (what my testing is going to cost) & can risk losing the money IF the test is negative & they have to start at square 1 testing for something else, can afford it. Getting tested as an adult (with even a part time job to pay for it) is the only option for many people.

On the illegit. side, there are those who are merely jumping on the Asperger's bandwagon. 'Musician' Moby recently attributed something to his Asperger's (which he's admitted to not having)but making up because, apparently, it made him seem more interesting (!). I don't see much difference between lying about having Asperger's to increase album sales & lying about having cancer to attract donations for nonexistent medical expenses.

Some of these adult ADHD people seem to be trying to link themselves to their ADHD diagnosed kid by way of an explanation as to where the kid got it from, others seem to want the drugs. The shrink who referred me for testing mentioned seeing this. Some seem to be seeking an excuse to distance themselves from being fully accountable for their shortcomings. For others, it's just really trendy (like Heroin chic in the 90's).

 

[Gomendosi]

Weird thing is, that in Australia the ones that have it hard in terms of health care is the medical industry itself and the government... let me explain:

Our government has trained a nation of drooling simpletons, by giving everybody social security benefits (the dole) all the time and for very little effort [yes, me included]. You never have to go off it and with a little effort you can be on it for life, admittedly it is half what you would get if you worked but people can and do live quite comfortably off it.
That?s where the trouble is, nobody here wants to be doctors now and so we are importing all ours from overseas (which everybody complains about of course).

Also the government has said that anybody on welfare (the dole) can have medical help for free or next to nothing and you don?t have to do anything for it except keep track of the little card you have to show any doctor that ?bulk bills?, some times you may have to pay a small fee. I think that is like a remainder, as prices go up the government has said they will [for example] pay ten bucks for 'that' treatment and now doctors are charging twelve bucks for 'that' treatment so you have to fork over the difference.

Anyway, so, here if you are on the dole you can be upgraded, you can go on disability and the quickest way to do that is to fake any mental problem that would exclude you from work. The popular ones have always been depression and schizophrenia, but Asperger's is a hot one lately because they think not enough doctors knows enough about it to say it isn?t that, so they look it up on the net and ?self diagnose?, then they toddle off down the doctors and get the piece of paper.
Hey presto, you don?t have to actively look for work anymore and your money goes up to about two thirds of what you could earn in a job, sure, again not enough to really live but if you can buy booze and drugs then who cares what your quality of living is like? right?

---

Lastly, there is one thing I know to be true, that despite the assortment of colours, humans actually come in only two types, male and female.
This differentiates sickness into two categories, that of human illness and the other then is gender specific illness Re; reproductive differences.
Every person on this planet is a human and so, susceptible to all of the first category regardless of race, religion or wealth and the second category is supposed to be 50/ 50 but is fast becoming murky due to mans interference in genetics.

Mental illness is definitely in category one, if I am human so to I can be or become, mentally ill, as each and every person has a brain in their skulls (despite what you may think), so it is that both male and female can have/ get the vast majority of mental disorders? BUT, doctors still hold that the sexes heighten different issues due to the unique liquids and wizardry it takes to run each sex, as example, one doctor once told my mum; ?we don?t know what?s wrong with your son, I would say it is probably anorexia but he isn?t a girl, so it can?t be that.?

So my vote is yeah, just as many girls can be Aspergical and easily missed because essentially, you?re looking for a duck with mocha feathers in a group of ducks with brown feathers.
Weird thing is, that a lot of men often have to deal with and some are hoping to find, women who exhibit Asperger?s like symptoms ; ]

 

[Biblio-Love]

My favorite gender specific illness, because it is so ridiculous, is menstral induced dysphoria. They just make **** up.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

Weird thing is, that in Australia the ones that have it hard in terms of health care is the medical industry itself and the government... let me explain:

Our government has trained a nation of drooling simpletons, by giving everybody social security benefits (the dole) all the time and for very little effort [yes, me included]. You never have to go off it and with a little effort you can be on it for life, admittedly it is half what you would get if you worked but people can and do live quite comfortably off it.
That’s where the trouble is, nobody here wants to be doctors now and so we are importing all ours from overseas (which everybody complains about of course).

Also the government has said that anybody on welfare (the dole) can have medical help for free or next to nothing and you don’t have to do anything for it except keep track of the little card you have to show any doctor that “bulk bills”, some times you may have to pay a small fee. I think that is like a remainder, as prices go up the government has said they will [for example] pay ten bucks for 'that' treatment and now doctors are charging twelve bucks for 'that' treatment so you have to fork over the difference.

Anyway, so, here if you are on the dole you can be upgraded, you can go on disability and the quickest way to do that is to fake any mental problem that would exclude you from work. The popular ones have always been depression and schizophrenia, but Asperger's is a hot one lately because they think not enough doctors knows enough about it to say it isn’t that, so they look it up on the net and “self diagnose”, then they toddle off down the doctors and get the piece of paper.
Hey presto, you don’t have to actively look for work anymore and your money goes up to about two thirds of what you could earn in a job, sure, again not enough to really live but if you can buy booze and drugs then who cares what your quality of living is like… right?

---

Lastly, there is one thing I know to be true, that despite the assortment of colours, humans actually come in only two types, male and female.
This differentiates sickness into two categories, that of human illness and the other then is gender specific illness Re; reproductive differences.
Every person on this planet is a human and so, susceptible to all of the first category regardless of race, religion or wealth and the second category is supposed to be 50/ 50 but is fast becoming murky due to mans interference in genetics.

Mental illness is definitely in category one, if I am human so to I can be or become, mentally ill, as each and every person has a brain in their skulls (despite what you may think), so it is that both male and female can have/ get the vast majority of mental disorders… BUT, doctors still hold that the sexes heighten different issues due to the unique liquids and wizardry it takes to run each sex, as example, one doctor once told my mum; “we don’t know what’s wrong with your son, I would say it is probably anorexia but he isn’t a girl, so it can’t be that.”

So my vote is yeah, just as many girls can be Aspergical and easily missed because essentially, you’re looking for a duck with mocha feathers in a group of ducks with brown feathers.
Weird thing is, that a lot of men often have to deal with and some are hoping to find, women who exhibit Asperger’s like symptoms ; ]

I live in australia but I'm an NZ citzen (gomendosi will know what this means). I only survive because my husband works in the mines ... and not even a high paying mine. He says he won't got west because a fly in fly out position would be too hard for me. So we stay where we are because he can come home every night as support for me. I get no support from any government.