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What's on your mind right now?

I got into an argument with one of my sisters on Xmas Eve and didn't speak to her during Xmas dinner. We haven't talked since. She only flies home twice a year. I'm annoyed.

I'm concerned that ppl don't notice how quiet I am when I am at group social events. I usually prefer to be out in groups no bigger than 4, 2 is ideal.

I'm waiting to learn if I have apd since I have trouble following verbal instructions and responses in different settings.

I'm thinking about how to master financial independence after my parents pass away and what will happen to my son, who has developmental delay, after I pass away.

I usually stave this all off by trying to befriend and counsel ppl online. Thanks for reading this. Merry Xmas
 
I've been watching a lot of videos of guinea pigs the past few days because I like guinea pigs and they are so cute.:hearteyes: But then I have really weird dreams about them. Last night I dreamed that my mother and I were at a store that was like a convenience store, but I somehow get a bunch of guinea pigs. I remember looking for snacks and stuff too, but didn't really see anything I liked. Some of them were very tiny, about the size of a bean. Then I'm on a bus waiting to get the piggies home, but I don't have a box or anything to keep them in, so I'm either trying to hold on to them or searching the bus for the ones that have run off somewhere. And, as usual in my dreams, the bus takes what feels like hours to even leave, and when it finally does it just barely gets close to my destination.
 
I still remember how the whole world was in hysterics over Y2K, when computers were supposed to suddenly "think" it was 1900 and destroy the Earth. And then the world was supposed was supposed to end on December 12. 2012 because that's what the Mayan calendar "predicted". And don't get me started on the Zombie Apocalypse.

So why did so many people panic and freak and make doomsday preps over such ridiculous things, but someone mentions climate change and they say horrible things to that person and want their head on a stake?:confused:
 
I think it’s ridiculous how I get the “incel” tag. Unlike the majority of incels, I don’t think women are destroying men’s rights (I live in a majority Christian area and who are the ones generally succeeding socially? Straight Christian men are and if you aren’t straight or a Christian, you are considered a “nerd”, “geek”, “loser”, “weirdo”, or even “gay” even if you are straight), I don’t see people like Gavin McInnes or Milo Yiannopoulos as allies but deluded morons, and I am not religious.
 
I love moments where I start getting invested in a subject, and I'm aware that I might be going into too much information, but then it turns out that the person I'm talking to is also really into that topic. So you both get to excitedly talk about it to each other. :D
 
Having very poor estimation skills can be annoying sometimes.

"So, how many people were there?"

"I don't know, I didn't count"

"Haha yeah but I mean roughly"

"I've still no idea, I usually can't tell unless I individually count people"

"Yeah but roughly though?"

*Sigh*

--

"How many miles is that?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked that up yet"

"Yeah but roughly"

"I struggle to apply measurement concepts to real life"

"Surely you have an idea though?"

"No and I'm scared to guess in case I'm incredibly wrong".

:oops:
 
My tubes.

Flare up of a chronic condition - epididiymitis. A literal pain in the balls. When it first began it lasted a year. Over half that time I was one course after course of antibiotics and weekly hospital appointments.

I was wiped out. They eventually told me " sorry, it's chronic." That was that.

It flares up now and then. Not great, when sitting down exacerbates it. 3 days now. 3 days of feeling like you've been kicked in the balls.

My tubes.

Ed
 
I had a staring contest with my alarm this morning after waking up from a nice dream. :D

On the plus side, I am starting to get back into healthier sleeping habits.
 
I think I will dress up like a banshee on St. Patrick's Day. I can definitely scream like one, and it's a creature of Irish folklore I relate to much better than leprechauns or unicorns.
 
I think I might have social anxiety, and no I'm not talking about a normal level of nerves. Frankly it's gotten to the point where it's started to negatively affect my life quite a lot recently. A friend of mine thinks I should see a GP about it. Trouble is, I don't know how I'd even bring that up, or if I'd want my family knowing.
 
I tried hard to stay away from my computer today so I wouldn't hear about the pestilence every two seconds but it very typically failed. I had to go to the hospital today and there were signs everywhere about it. And when I got home I turned on Dr. Phil only for the show to be interrupted by "breaking news" or whatever BS about the pestilence. I tried to use the new sewing machine I got for Christmas, and it's a piece of garbage. The thread and needle jammed and now both the needle and fabric is stuck, I can't remove them, and I can't finish my craft project, which might have brought me some minor and temporary happiness. The companies don't care about making good quality machines that inspire creativity anymore. And so, since I require little focus, creativity and imagination, which have all been virtually sucked out of my body anyway, I went to the computer. Screw the world!
 
There is so much l can't say or talk about in my life which just makes it confusing. Sigh.......
 
Lately I've been trying to as accurately as possible guest-ti-mate using patterns to figure out the amount of individual wood grains in my bedrooms hardwood flooring.

My mind automatically does these absurd things whenever I need a distraction, and it might even help me to perfect those "guess how many gumballs there are in the giant globe"
type contest thingies.
 
Today, I got rid of every picture on my phone I took of my ex. I did leave ones of his cats, though, because I feel bad for them for putting up with his bipolar disorder. Honestly, it feels good getting rid of the pics, because it shows that I'm ready to move on.
 
Sad day at the local zoo today, a baby orangutan died after birth. I feel sad about it because they are endangered, and due to coronavirus, not much else could be done. But yeah, animal deaths make me sad.
 
That I keep doing normal things like laundry, cleaning, cooking, exercising. All the while, every country in the world is frantic to keep people from becoming infected and dying. I'm not able to play with my cats, or paint, or draw, as things are not what were before. I can't even read, in this anxious state. Cannot be calm. Keep trying to think through all the scenarios, the eventualities. That I should be prepared for. Yet I know, I can't control much of anything, and have to wait until it's over. The waiting is the worst part.
 
Time to make cupcakes. :)

Luckily I write all my baking methods down. Otherwise the instructions on cake mix boxes would have me baking blackened, extra-crispy cupcakes.
 
Looks as if German Chancellor Angela Merkel is being pre-treated with a pneumococcal vaccine, ahead of time to guard against succumbing to covid 19. It's used for people with COPD to prevent pneumonia normally. And in her case, the Doctor who injected her with the vaccine has tested positive for Covid. Wonder if all the 'important' and or wealthy have had this vaccine? Would not surprise me to learn that. When the people who are most at risk, should be given it.
Merkel in quarantine after doctor tests positive for virus

I just made walnut and chocolate chip muffins!
 
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