What do you wish you were told about relationships and sex when you were young?

[anxiety247]

Uhm. I feel very inappropriate suggesting this, and I may be missing something important - because as I have just admitted, I have very little practical experience with the female body - but would it be possible to purchase some lubricant and just let him... do his thing, from time to time? Or when you say that your body reacts differently, do you mean with absolute horror and revulsion?

Seriously, I would if I could. I think I have what is called Vaginismus, which basically means muscles tense up if trying anything like that and I have no control over them. It's like hitting a wall and hurts both of us. It's awkward talking about it now, but maybe other Aspies experience the same thing.

I'm too nervous to go see a doctor about it yet, and I'm trying to do the methods that is suggested online but it eventually becomes a real chore having to use those methods everyday (edit: those methods basically are a way to train the muscles to not tense up, so you really have to do it every single day for a long time for it to work, very tiring!)

 

[Baeraad]

Seriously, I would if I could. I think I have what is called Vaginismus, which basically means muscles tense up if trying anything like that and I have no control over them. It's like hitting a wall and hurts both of us. It's awkward talking about it now, but maybe other Aspies experience the same thing.

I'm too nervous to go see a doctor about it yet, and I'm trying to do the methods that is suggested online but it eventually becomes a real chore having to use those methods everyday (edit: those methods basically are a way to train the muscles to not tense up, so you really have to do it every single day for a long time for it to work, very tiring!)

Ah, I see. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it works out for the two of you.

 

[Wolfnox]

Set phasers to stun. Then hook him up with a Klingon. Lol.

 

[tree]

What do I wish I had been told about sex when I was a child?

Instead of my mother telling me that the blue tailed flies were
'giving each other rides' it would have made a huge difference to
say "They are breeding. That means they are making babies."

Something simple like that would have been informative and
appropriate. The 'giving each other rides' and the subsequent
amused looks by my father, and zero additional remarks by
my mother led me to believe that something was not right.

It seemed to me that if bugs 'gave each other rides' and it
made grown people giggly, then the world was a strangely
meaningless stupid place.

 

[dragonfire42]

That it's okay not to want to have a relationship or sex and you don't have to have a spouse and kids as an adult. I spent quite a while wondering if something about me was broken or missing because I'm a nonromantic asexual (and honestly, I still haven't completely gotten that idea out of my head).

 

[Fino]

That it's okay not to want to have a relationship or sex and you don't have to have a spouse and kids as an adult. I spent quite a while wondering if something about me was broken or missing because I'm a nonromantic asexual (and honestly, I still haven't completely gotten that idea out of my head).

If it helps at all, I'm the same way! The first part, not the feeling broken part. I used to feel that too though.

 

[dragonfire42]

If it helps at all, I'm the same way! The first part, not the feeling broken part. I used to feel that too though.

Thank you, it does help to be reminded that I'm not the only one.

 

[Crossbreed]

It seemed to me that if bugs 'gave each other rides' and it
made grown people giggly, then the world was a strangely
meaningless stupid place.

I think that so many people think of breeding as a secondary, not primary, function of human sex. (And maybe, for people, it is. I don't think that many animals continue to have sex during pregnancy.)

 

[Rectify]

This is a revived thread I can't ignore! For those who didn't get the best start I think it would be helpful to know that relationships don't always have to be difficult, scary, overpowering etc.