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What Are Your Biggest Burdens and Gifts of Having Asperger's Syndrome?

I'm so glad you replied. The book is divided into parts. The first part is educational, describing a parenting approach where parents think about their own reactions to their children, then think carefully about what is going on in the minds of their children and their development, and then problem solve together. The idea is that parents sometimes jump to conclusions about their child's intentions and need more understanding of what's actually going on in their child's mind. My ideas come from decades of working with children and parents. The next part of the book are what I call fictionalized accounts of real family dynamics. That means that I cannot talk about my actual patients lives because of course that's confidential, so I've created fictional stories from my many years of experiences with parents and children's actual lives. That is why I want people with Aspergers or with children with Aspergers to read the chapter I spoke about earlier. I'm glad you agree it's better to talk to people in communities like this one to receive actual real world comments. That is exactly what I'm trying to do. You don't have to have children of your own with Aspergers for me to want your feedback. If you feel you have characteristics of Aspergers, you are now or once were a child, so your ideas would be very appreciated by me. Are you interested? I see there is an upload a file option. I could upload the chapter to you if you want to comment on it. (I'm not sure who you are. Are you Rollerskate or Vanilla or someone else?"

Thanks again for replying.

Regards,
Laurie

That's Tarragon who you are replying to.

Anyone wishing to continue with the discussion about Dr. Hollman's book, may continue to do so at the following thread: young children with Aspergers | AspiesCentral.com
 
My biggest gift is I can think in mechanical terms, and thus am very skilled at fixing certian things. Mainly lawn and garden power equipment and model trains of all scales. My biggest burdens is issues making friends/social skills and all that goes with that like eye contact, staring ect. Mike
 
My biggest burdens are on the social side of life, specifically my shyness and inability to form lasting relationships with people. I'm also not entirely independent but I'm sure with time I'll manage.

My pride and joy is my imagination. Its highly visual, flexible and detailed to a deeply touching extent that often brings me nearly to tears because its that good. I can remember all of my former selves and my alternate personalities. I use my past as a fuel source to draw strength from, through a process I don't fully understand. I can create modified versions of myself and use them as characters in a story, I can also take people I've met to make characters, sometimes I can combine two real people into one new character. I can relate music to myself or my current project to unlock the story's secret or as a visual aid of sorts.

Wordplay is amusing, I can also create logical fake words that sound and look legit without breaking a sweat.
I can visual objects or events taking place in my environment on a whim.

Where my imagination is probably at its strongest, brainpower-wise, is in the art of high-speed internal filmography. I can create fight scenes at rapid speed, encounters that move at the same rate as a fight in Dragon Ball Z; I can do this because I used DBZ as a model for my visual thinking skills, an art I've honed for over a decade. Mind you I've moved on from that silly show and routinely use my own fiction in those films, but I must give credit to where it is due.

Lastly I am highly self-aware, analytical and in close communication with my subconscious, namely my feminine side and childish side. I feel like I'm made of many people locked inside a single body.
 
The only gift is that I am quite intelligent and well, well above the maturity level of my classmates. I overthink everything and probably past their maturity level about 5 years ago.

Non gifts is having no friends. It really does get to me, most people don't seem to want friends. I actually do and would think about it everyday. Wondering whats wrong with me.. have come to the conclusion based on experience that my classmates are shallow.
 
Hardest thing: A toughie. Either the Meltdowns (Missing work, spending hours lying on the bed not talking to anyone, ugh) or the social awkwardness.
Best thing: Being able to find happiness and satisfaction in something as simple as a new DVD because it expands my collection.
 
The hardest thing for me is that I don't know how to express my emotions all the time. I can't always seem to collect my thoughts and feelings and put them into words.
As well as my general social skills, are very on and off. Some people I can talk with no problem and other times I have trouble making friends.

The best thing would be that I'm very mature and have my thoughts and goals put together, more so than the majority of my peers.
 
The only gift is that I am quite intelligent and well, well above the maturity level of my classmates. I overthink everything and probably past their maturity level about 5 years ago.

Non gifts is having no friends. It really does get to me, most people don't seem to want friends. I actually do and would think about it everyday. Wondering whats wrong with me.. have come to the conclusion based on experience that my classmates are shallow.
I can relate to the overthinking and maturity substance of your post. My situation was complicated by trauma I couldn't process, but I did like having friends, in fact I liked it more than they did. I had the tendency to forge lifelong, one-sided bonds that went under appreciated.
 
The worst is the sensitivities. I absolutely hate the sound of a vacuum cleaner. There's heaps of food I can't eat. I can't stand the bubbles in soft drink. Tags on clothing annoy me. I don't like people touching me without warning. Lots of things like that.

The social side I don't appreciate but I don't really care that much. I do have a few friends and I find it's the airhead types who I don't really get along with so I'm ok with that trade off as I don't really like them anyways. In contrast I don't always get along with smart or logical people but well enough or enough of them that it will do.

Best is I think I'm smart and logical, and my 'special interest' in earthquakes is something I want to make a career out of.

Overall I would vote it a positive. At least for now.
 
Worst things:
Some motor skill problems, such as, say, tying shoelaces. Another thing would have to be sports that involves teams. I can do running races/ shotput/ javelin throws. But stuff that involves teams usually frustrates and confuses me. :emojiconfused:

Best things:
Not being a bad person. :D
 
The best, I have a genius level iq, my mind entertains meh xD My aspie husband,my best friend :)

The worst, inability to connect with people. Especially when they want a connection with me.I find this a lot with any friend I've ever had. My inability to make small talk.. oh god kill me now... And lastly,stupid people hurt my brain and give me headaches.
 
The best, I have a genius level iq, my mind entertains meh xD My aspie husband,my best friend :)

The worst, inability to connect with people. Especially when they want a connection with me.I find this a lot with any friend I've ever had. My inability to make small talk.. oh god kill me now... And lastly,stupid people hurt my brain and give me headaches.
Finally, someone I can relate to, in the area of mental gymnastics. I share all of the qualities you described, and I say $%#! you to all tests that measure ability. You said your mind entertains you, please describe what your able to do, I'm curious(laughs giddily from behind his keyboard)
I must add that I'm not married yet, so we don't have that in common.
 
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My gifts are I can learn a language extremely fast and I am extremely knowledgeable on things that I am very interested in. What I hate is the small talk...and making friends. I have great intellectual conversations but the small talk just freaks me out makes me nervous, because of this I used to drink soo much I felt as though it helped so to a certain degree. Recently I finished 5 liters of bacardi in 4 days on my vacation just so I could feel more comfortable and so on. I recently also found out that I am an aspie which has been much relief so I guess this is how it will be though I do try
 
Nikita, I'm interested in talking with you at length about what I think we have in common, mainly the issues with people below us on the mental totem pole. Granted I'm not a traditional genius, I'm more of the imaginative, artistic, creative variety. I say this because my abilities in those three areas(among others) are innate and about 80% involuntary, or they feel that way; like I just naturally create things as easily as others breathe without wanting to, I can't turn off the creative machine, I need to smash it at times. I have the reasoning skills to back it up, its not like I'm just churning out useless garbage, it all fits together, in ways I'm not always immediately aware of. I don't watch TV anymore, movies are just fertilizer now, I watch them like I'm sitting in class taking notes. Your imagination, is it backed up heavily with emotions? Mine is downright horrifying at times, other times its heartwarming, like I love the relationships in my private little world. I'm trying to write a book about what I see in my head, its just too amazing to go unshared.
:)
 
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Worst:
Sensory sensitivity
Meltdowns, inability to deal with change, panic attacks, insomnia
Missing of cues, humor, flirting, etc.

Best:
Ability to visualize complex ideas
Enjoying special interests
 
I am actually pretty happy with my life and how I interact with "the outside world". I am proud of how well I adapted, and I feel like I tackled every problem that came on my way. People, in general, like me and I get along with about everyone. So that aspect of my life is just fine..

It's the battle "inside my head" that I am worried about. I am a thinker. And I think so much that it just absorbs energy. It keeps me up at night and it stresses me out during the day. And if I don't have valid concerns, my mind will make up a few. See, I always find something to worry about; no matter how small and petty it is. It's just in my system, I suppose.
I sometimes wish my life could take place a bit more "outside of my own head", because being locked up with yourself up there (figurative way of speaking) is not always good. I am often silent, and I can keep myself busy with just staring at the wall - because I think at moments like that.
Don't get me wrong: Great ideas came from that thinking. But it also requires energy...
 
Greatest gifts:
I'm not like anyone else, and that just makes me feel so blessed. I'm proud of who I am because I wouldn't want to have any other kind of life. I firmly believe this is what my life is supposed to be.

I think I'm able to see things in a light different than other people, which is really wonderful. Simple things like rearranging my room or taking a walk or taking care of plants bring me so much joy, and that makes me so happy.

There are, of course, people who think I'm weird; but there are also others who have told me that they look up to me for "being myself." The fact that someone else admires me makes me feel like I have hope of becoming "normal." But then I realize that being normal isn't really what I want.

Biggest burdens:
I say that I want friends, but I know that I really don't. I don't really like to talk to people. I also say that I want to be in a relationship, but do I really? I haven't ever been in one before, and every time I've been offered one, I've said no. I guess it just frustrates me that I can't have what I want because it's not what I really want. Like someone said before, it's a sick joke.

Another thing is the fact that I don't tell other people anything, really. I think it's because I don't think they'd care. I don't know what I think. But talking to someone with Asperger's is different; we are all struggling to live with the same thing but in completlu different ways.

Depression is the worst though. Once it starts, it doesn't go away until I wake up the next morning. Once it hits, I feel cursed and that I should never have been born because I can't do anything about anything. I feel like a failure. There isn't anything inside of me to console me because I really do think it's true.
 
Worst: Sensory issues, not knowing to be in a relationship, being bullied (although that doesn't happen as often now that I'm in cllege and people have grown up).

Best: If I am interested in something, I am very, very good at it to the point of being able to amaze people, like geography, The Simpsons, and grammar.
 
The best thing is being able focus for long periods of time, taking in and retaining large amounts of information. Seeing problems in my minds eye and testing possible solutions. The bad is the social issues. This caused a lot of loneliness and isolation when I was young, not so much now.
 
Best: The way my mind functioned like a steel trap before I started taking antidepressants. Analytical abilities, hyperfocusing, linear thinking and the memory of an elephant allowed me to follow a train of thought to its logical destination without missing a beat. Having a high IQ and the ability to pass through school with no academic difficulty was great too. Ability to use words well.

Worst: Social issues. Sensory issues. Strong dependence on routine and familiar environment to maintain stability. Emotional oversensitivity.

Seeing things from a perspective that is different from the rest of the world is a double-edged sword . It's important, I think, but I don't know if it would fall in the "best" or "worse" category.
 
Best: I have a good memory and I can learn new things quickly and independently, especially things like languages. A good eye for detail and an analytical mind.
Worse: The feeling that I'm in a kind of bubble behind glass and detached, separate from other people and not being able to connect. Emotional issues: Loneliness, fear of rejection, feelings of insecurity, fear of failure, self-hate.
 

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