What Are Your Biggest Burdens and Gifts of Having Asperger's Syndrome?

[AspieDenmark]

Hello My name is Aleksander, also known as AspieDenmark. I would like to start a thread to get abit better knowledge on what you feel is the hardest part of having Asperger's syndrome and what actually benefits you of having Asperger's Syndrome.

My personal worst experience with having asperger's syndrome:

Waking up in the morning, getting threated like crap and my whole day is ruined.

My personal gift of Asperger's syndrome:

Being able to self learn things very quickly.

 

[Vanilla]

I'd have to say the worst thing for me is that it doesn't matter how much I know and understand about Aspergers, and myself, there are way too many people out there that know next to nothing about Aspergers, and will be unsure of how to react towards this. It causes mixed feelings of awkwardness, pity, disassociation, anger, etc. - you can't always predict it.

The best thing, is that I can be content simply being who I am, happy of my gifts. It gives me purpose, hope, intelligence, and a rather large imagination.

 

[Licorice]

The worst...

Essentially, I've been given the desire to have friendships, family, and community without the ability to connect to them in any kind of normal, meaningful way. A rather cruel joke, if you ask me.

The best...

Despite that, I've met a few highly unusual people I do consider myself somewhat close to. Similarly, they're very out of touch with others, so we might not have been friends otherwise.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Hardest things: Being unable to connect with most people.
Being unable to turn off the obsessing thing.

Best things:
Being able to connect in a special way with certain people and certain things, people with AS, children, animals, nature,
Being able to obsess and really care about something.

 

[Sev]

Best things:
I've become extremely independent.
My obsessions allow me to develop skills quite quickly.
The friends I have that have hung around for a while, are genuine (Well, I hope).
I get to relate to other Aspies, which is awesome

Hardest things:
While I really want a few friends, I really struggle making them because of my social inabilities and abnormalities.
I struggle learning from the vast amount of lecturers I have in class.
Relationships are non-existent. (I haven't even held a girl's hand)
Dealing with the looks other people give me is really painful, so is hearing others talk about me behind my back.

 

[Vanilla]

Best things:
I've become extremely independent.
My obsessions allow me to develop skills quite quickly.
The friends I have that have hung around for a while, are genuine (Well, I hope).
I get to relate to other Aspies, which is awesome

Hardest things:
While I really want a few friends, I really struggle making them because of my social inabilities and abnormalities.
I struggle learning from the vast amount of lecturers I have in class.
Relationships are non-existent. (I haven't even held a girl's hand)
Dealing with the looks other people give me is really painful, so is hearing others talk about me behind my back.

aww...Sev, have a virtual hug

 

[Sev]

I could use a hug. <accepts virtual hug>

 

[umbrellabeach]

Burdens: Being ignored, bullied and otherwise mistreated. People liking me at first but then getting weirded out and leaving me once they see who I really am.

Gifts: Thinking and perceiving differently from how most people do and often seeing what they don't see. Being able to focus on things (and people, if I'm ever in a conversation) for a long time. Appreciating things like my interests and any (good) sensory input much more than everyone else. Not caring whether or not I have friends or am in a relationship.

 

[CJinherPJs]

Worst things:
Social awkwardness, like not knowing what to say to others in conversation
Being laughed at when I'm a bit slow to understand a joke
Missing social cues and leaving the wrong impression on people
Obsessive-compulsive tendencies, e.g. germ obsession
Over-sensitivity; I tend to get upset easily and feel hurt if others make comments about me, even when I know they didn't intend to hurt me
Anxiety and depression (not so much now, but was very bad in my teens).

Best things:
The way my mind works
Ability to relate to like-minded people
Ability to become immersed in subjects I enjoy, which has led to good grades
Being happy in my own company and not too concerned with having friends or a boyfriend.

I used to hate having Asperger's until about 4 years ago, when I started reading up on it more and joining forums. Since accepting my condition, I see it as no more than another set of strengths and weaknesses, and everybody, regardless of whether they're on the spectrum, has their quirks.

We are not "defective" or "freaks", and we are not alone.

 

[Paige]

imagination.

 

[Turk]

The Worst -
Suffering a life time of disconnection with people. My obsessive nature and my poor conflict resolution. Not to mention my Anxiety
The Best
Being able to make a career out of my special interest and being good enough to provide a very comfortable life for my family.

 

[Max]

Worst: Panic attacks caused by usually imaginary contamination.

Best: Strong passion (and gift according to some) for writing.

 

[Dario Visconti]

Best things:
1) Obsessions for large parts of time with one thing. Might sound bad for some people but to me, it's amazing. I can actually self-teach myself things. E.g. I taught myself guitar (all teachers had failed in the past). Currently, I'm trying to teach myself Swedish.
2) Attention to detail.
3) Analytical thinking and logic.

Worst things:
1) Inability to relate to most people. This requires some things that I don't have, at least. It also implies a certain inability to form romantic relations.
2) Inability to recognize sarcasm, irony and jokes for the most time. It kind of ruins the whole thing.
3) Most people don't have the slightest idea what AS is. They've just heard the term "autism" once or twice and they connect it to something bad. Many confuse Asperger's Syndrome to Down Syndrome or other physical or mental disorders. So, they have mixted feelings towards you that might get confusing.

P.S.: Not officialy diagnosed.

 

[S0093679]

What an interesting thread! The worst part for me is feeling so lonely because of 1) knowing that I am inadequate in social situations 2) my inadequacy prevents me from establishing and maintaining friendships 3) the anxiety of social situations and knowing that I will most likely look a fool results in me not wanting to go find friends, even though I do want friends.

The best part for me is my natural flare for music, mathsy type subjects (computers, electronics, physics, chemistry and so on) and languages. Im no savant by any stretch of the imagination (!) but these are also my interests.

 

[rollerskate]

Things I appreciate first because they'll be hard to list once I cover things I don't like...

I like being able to absorb huge amounts of data in a short period of time and being able to learn certain skills very quickly

I like being able to notice things other people don't like patterns, similarities, how two seemingly unrelated things fit

Sometimes being able to talk and or think above people's heads comes in handy. Yes I said it. I know I'm evil. But when someone is attacking me, sometimes my only defense is to outwit them. It came in handy when I was attacked and robbed in my own home. I noticed things about my attackers that allowed me to not be afraid of them, and it thoroughly puzzled them. They got away due to show response time by the cops, but I will never forget that look of puzzlement in their faces. I think I scared them more than they scared me.

Being able to "read" people. I don't really know why except that I'm very observant of patterns in behavior. I spent a lot of time trying to learn all I could about human behavior because I couldn't pick up on it naturally. It's like I can understand them on a clinical/scientific level but not... I dunno. Something is missing there, but being able to categorize and reason out their behavior helps. And makes me a pretty good lie detector.

Being able to appreciate the five senses on a deeper level. I notice shapes, colors, sounds, touch, smells, etc more than other people do I've came to realize.

Now for what I don't like....

Being so sensitive to my surroundings it can distract and overwhelm me to the point of losing focus and even basic functions like listening and talking. My son gets so mad at me for example because if we're near traffic or a crowd of people, I can't listen to him.

My horrible memory for things I shouldn't have any problem remembering. The aggravation from being able to have perfect memory for less important things like something interesting I read or saw, which tells me I should be able to remember the things of importance.

Feeling awkward and out of my element when surrounded by normal people chit chatting. Not knowing what to say to someone I want to get to know. Being judged as stuck up and prissy because I don't know how to not take things seriously and am very orderly and routine and proper and quiet. Being judged as a know it all because I want to fact share so much and people don't get it's my way of connecting and sharing/caring because I can't do small talk. I hate to admit it but I even have problems comforting someone without offering some form of advice, and if I have none to offer, I'm usually silent.

Getting so obsessed with a particular subject I find it hard to stop to do basic self maintenance until I've either completely exhausted my resources or lost interest.

The intensity with which I feel emotions, and the inability to share them with others. For a long time I couldn't even identify a lot of my emotions. Words don't seem to be enough. It's why I miss art. Seemed the closest I ever got to truly describing how I felt was through my pictures. I couldn't tell you, but I could show you.

Being an expert in matters no one cares about. Seems I always pick the most obscure subjects and hobbies to be prolific about.

FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS. This one got me crying last night because I confused my son on his kindergarten level homework instructions. He had it right, I had it wrong, and I got frustrated with him for getting it wrong when it was me all along. Other than my spacing out, the biggest complaint of teachers and employers alike has always been that I don't follow directions. And I try, I really do. I just don't always understand their wording and/or how it applies to the task. In this case, he was supposed to write an x when he heard an x and a j when he heard a j. I kept insisting he needed to write the first letter the word started with.

Spacing out.

My weird understanding of math. Apply it to physical real world objects, or just ask me to play with the theory, I'm a genius. Expect me to just number crunch, my son actually does better than me. Some numbers make sense, others don't. Two makes sense, seven does not. Etc.

Clumsiness.

In general, the way I can grasp these really complicated concepts with ease yet have trouble with basic ones everyone understands. It drove my teachers batty in school and I don't know how many times I got accused of being lazy. College has been easier thankfully. I can skip the confusing basics and get right into the meat. Example, my stupid wireless tech book kept explaining phases as doors opening and shutting. Drove me nuts I couldn't understand such a simple explanation. But when I skipped ahead to the explanations in terms of waves in frequencies, it made sense.

 

[GallacticGorilla]

That sounds alot like me roller Skate.

 

[Dark]

I think Aspergers has actually given me better priorities than most people. I don't waste time trying to impress people I don't like, physical beauty and social status barely matter to me at all, and I'm able to judge people based on their character rather than a handful of shallow attributes. It also means that I learn things very quickly, usually without needing to be taught by someone else, and that I can offer unique insight to debates or conversations (one the few social benefits).

In terms of the burden, I think loneliness goes without saying. It sucks watching everyone else have this amazing ease with making friends, and developing supportive community while I can barely get my head around the possibility of having a successful conversation. Not to mention that expressing any kind of important emotion (anger, affection, gratitude, etc.) is a collossal struggle for me. Which is generally one of the reasons I have so much trouble making friends. I think a lot of people just assume I don't care. In reality, I care way too much but I have no idea how to show it in a way they'll recognize.

 

[rollerskate]

Guess I should have mentioned somewhere in that book I wrote above that I also don't like my inability to summarize instead of trying to cover every possible angle on the planet.... LOL

 

[Tarragon]

My biggest burden of having Aspergers is having Aspergers.
My biggest gift of having Aspergers is having Aspergers.

 

[Dirtdigger]

My worse is being bullied, laughed at, picked on and called names. This has happened all my life to present when I got laughed at by this jerk laughing between his words even during a 3 or 4 minute conversation. I sure wasn't laughing and I did not ask a question that was suppose to be funny. Also the sensory issues I have. They are so bad I can't hardly deal with them sometimes.


The best part of my Autism is being by myself as much as possible since I don't like to be around people and a relationship or marriage makes my skin crawl. Enjoying my obsessions which has been such a comfort for me.