What Are Your Biggest Burdens and Gifts of Having Asperger's Syndrome?

[djn]

Guess I should have mentioned somewhere in that book I wrote above that I also don't like my inability to summarize instead of trying to cover every possible angle on the planet.... LOL

I'm glad you didn't summarize, Best explanation I've read. Thank you.

 

[Spinosaurus kin]

Hmmm... so many characteristics to choose from...

Best parts:
-Logic and rationality
-Ability to hyper-focus

Worst parts:
-Sensory issues
-Anxiety
-Lethargy
-Detachment
This last one requires a bit of explanation, so you get the context. I mean the way I have this ability to just understand stuff, to mentally work out mathematical problems that many would consider impossible without a calculator, or make a well-reasoned argument towards certain issues.
However, the fact that I can't convey that particularly well, like in an exam situation, I have the difficulty of being considered lazy in school when my real problem is I can't explain very well. I did a maths test (Core 3) the other day, and one question was about an inequality with some unknown variables. I just looked at it, and instantly saw the what they were, and lost half the marks because I didn't show working. The reason for this is because some students have graphics calculators that could do that question for them. So the mark scheme called me a graphics calculator! Haha, I'm not *that* good.
So in a way, I am too smart for my own good, and my inability to communicate my inner thoughts has plagued me my whole life.

 

[rollerskate]

Hmmm... so many characteristics to choose from...

Best parts:
-Logic and rationality
-Ability to hyper-focus

Worst parts:
-Sensory issues
-Anxiety
-Lethargy
-Detachment
This last one requires a bit of explanation, so you get the context. I mean the way I have this ability to just understand stuff, to mentally work out mathematical problems that many would consider impossible without a calculator, or make a well-reasoned argument towards certain issues.
However, the fact that I can't convey that particularly well, like in an exam situation, I have the difficulty of being considered lazy in school when my real problem is I can't explain very well. I did a maths test (Core 3) the other day, and one question was about an inequality with some unknown variables. I just looked at it, and instantly saw the what they were, and lost half the marks because I didn't show working. The reason for this is because some students have graphics calculators that could do that question for them. So the mark scheme called me a graphics calculator! Haha, I'm not *that* good.
So in a way, I am too smart for my own good, and my inability to communicate my inner thoughts has plagued me my whole life.

I hate showing my work because I get marked as wrong every time I don't do it the way they taught me to even if my answer is right. For example, I will do things like reverse/rearrange the formula or parts of it, break up numbers, round numbers and then do clean up from it later on, etc. It makes it easier for ME to understand and work with, but evidently these teachers don't actually like to think about the math they see you doing, or even want you to think about it and understand it, just parrot the actions in the book like a brainless monkey. I failed algebra twice in middle/high school.... Then went on to make straight As in geometry and algebra II. I also scored high in calculus and trig when they gave me the ACT in 7th grade even though I had never taken those subjects. I now think there's a special place in hell for the person who set up algebra classes to be the way they are today... LOL.

 

[Jordan]

Gifts
-Being able to talk about my own special interests with other people that have those similar interests too!
-Special learning curves in which I have my own learning styles and ways of doing certain tasks

Burdens
-Detachment from the world around me (Namely loss of contact from the real world)
-Intense anxiety, could often cause paranoia issues too
-Strict routines - If someone wants me to do something I don't want to do it could throw me out of my regular routine
-Meltdowns - These can last up to 2 weeks if they get so worse that I loose contact with everything. - If they get a lot more worse, close members of my family will tell me to go to hospital - Often I refuse.
-Signs of aggression - I can get aggressive to other people without meaning to. However I do not mean to harm someone if I am put in that position. It can often cause me to be disorientated and forget what I have done in that "episode".
-Social interaction - Some weeks I can find it hard to even socially interact with people that I know. Some weeks I don't want to speak to people because of namely other problems that I have causes me to be mute.
-Accusations - Often I can blame other people for my own problems, causing a misunderstanding in many situations.
-College work - I can get thrown off my college work if I don't do it "well enough" or not to a "good standard"

 

[Autism]

Things I appreciate first because they'll be hard to list once I cover things I don't like...

I like being able to absorb huge amounts of data in a short period of time and being able to learn certain skills very quickly

I like being able to notice things other people don't like patterns, similarities, how two seemingly unrelated things fit

Sometimes being able to talk and or think above people's heads comes in handy. Yes I said it. I know I'm evil. But when someone is attacking me, sometimes my only defense is to outwit them. It came in handy when I was attacked and robbed in my own home. I noticed things about my attackers that allowed me to not be afraid of them, and it thoroughly puzzled them. They got away due to show response time by the cops, but I will never forget that look of puzzlement in their faces. I think I scared them more than they scared me.

Being able to "read" people. I don't really know why except that I'm very observant of patterns in behavior. I spent a lot of time trying to learn all I could about human behavior because I couldn't pick up on it naturally. It's like I can understand them on a clinical/scientific level but not... I dunno. Something is missing there, but being able to categorize and reason out their behavior helps. And makes me a pretty good lie detector.

Being able to appreciate the five senses on a deeper level. I notice shapes, colors, sounds, touch, smells, etc more than other people do I've came to realize.

Now for what I don't like....

Being so sensitive to my surroundings it can distract and overwhelm me to the point of losing focus and even basic functions like listening and talking. My son gets so mad at me for example because if we're near traffic or a crowd of people, I can't listen to him.

My horrible memory for things I shouldn't have any problem remembering. The aggravation from being able to have perfect memory for less important things like something interesting I read or saw, which tells me I should be able to remember the things of importance.

Feeling awkward and out of my element when surrounded by normal people chit chatting. Not knowing what to say to someone I want to get to know. Being judged as stuck up and prissy because I don't know how to not take things seriously and am very orderly and routine and proper and quiet. Being judged as a know it all because I want to fact share so much and people don't get it's my way of connecting and sharing/caring because I can't do small talk. I hate to admit it but I even have problems comforting someone without offering some form of advice, and if I have none to offer, I'm usually silent.

Getting so obsessed with a particular subject I find it hard to stop to do basic self maintenance until I've either completely exhausted my resources or lost interest.

The intensity with which I feel emotions, and the inability to share them with others. For a long time I couldn't even identify a lot of my emotions. Words don't seem to be enough. It's why I miss art. Seemed the closest I ever got to truly describing how I felt was through my pictures. I couldn't tell you, but I could show you.

Being an expert in matters no one cares about. Seems I always pick the most obscure subjects and hobbies to be prolific about.

FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS. This one got me crying last night because I confused my son on his kindergarten level homework instructions. He had it right, I had it wrong, and I got frustrated with him for getting it wrong when it was me all along. Other than my spacing out, the biggest complaint of teachers and employers alike has always been that I don't follow directions. And I try, I really do. I just don't always understand their wording and/or how it applies to the task. In this case, he was supposed to write an x when he heard an x and a j when he heard a j. I kept insisting he needed to write the first letter the word started with.

Spacing out.

My weird understanding of math. Apply it to physical real world objects, or just ask me to play with the theory, I'm a genius. Expect me to just number crunch, my son actually does better than me. Some numbers make sense, others don't. Two makes sense, seven does not. Etc.

Clumsiness.

In general, the way I can grasp these really complicated concepts with ease yet have trouble with basic ones everyone understands. It drove my teachers batty in school and I don't know how many times I got accused of being lazy. College has been easier thankfully. I can skip the confusing basics and get right into the meat. Example, my stupid wireless tech book kept explaining phases as doors opening and shutting. Drove me nuts I couldn't understand such a simple explanation. But when I skipped ahead to the explanations in terms of waves in frequencies, it made sense.

 

[Autism]

My worse is being bullied, laughed at, picked on and called names. This has happened all my life to present when I got laughed at by this jerk laughing between his words even during a 3 or 4 minute conversation. I sure wasn't laughing and I did not ask a question that was suppose to be funny. Also the sensory issues I have. They are so bad I can't hardly deal with them sometimes.


The best part of my Autism is being by myself as much as possible since I don't like to be around people and a relationship or marriage makes my skin crawl. Enjoying my obsessions which has been such a comfort for me.

Positives: Looking right through people and then running mental laps around them for a while
Negatives: I really don't think that there are many negatives because the people that I do not have contact with are not wanted anyways. To me that is not social awkwardness, that is just my way of saying: all you nutcases (and by that I mean the people who dare call themselves normal) stay out of my life.

 

[Spinosaurus kin]

I hate showing my work because I get marked as wrong every time I don't do it the way they taught me to even if my answer is right. For example, I will do things like reverse/rearrange the formula or parts of it, break up numbers, round numbers and then do clean up from it later on, etc. It makes it easier for ME to understand and work with, but evidently these teachers don't actually like to think about the math they see you doing, or even want you to think about it and understand it, just parrot the actions in the book like a brainless monkey. I failed algebra twice in middle/high school.... Then went on to make straight As in geometry and algebra II. I also scored high in calculus and trig when they gave me the ACT in 7th grade even though I had never taken those subjects. I now think there's a special place in hell for the person who set up algebra classes to be the way they are today... LOL.

Yeah, i also have to do some calculations in my chemistry, and it normally involves non-terminating decimals. I just keep the values stored in my calculator, and round purely in working, but my teacher never realises.

 

[MovieMike]

Worst: Unable to express myself and form connections with other people, causing loneliness.

Best: I can get really into my hobbies, and they can be a great source of happiness when nothing else seems to go my way.

 

[neuroillogic]

All of everything you said! It's amazing how much we all have in common.

The very worst things for me though would have to be a tossup between the stomach issues and constant anxiety. If I could eat a sandwich without getting a stomach ache and go an entire day without worrying if I'm gonna die before I can get back into bed, Apergers would be the life!

Best things are my obsessive interests. I wouldn't be me without them, and my ability to draw is outstanding. Never would have gotten this good if I wasn't so obsessive about it.

 

[Sparticus]

Worst-when the Bat phone goes off while I'm hugging Cat Woman and I have to save another "normal" person...ack...
Best-when I'm cuddling with Cat woman and the Bat phone is disconnected... oh yeah! Meow...

 

[Tarragon]

I hate showing my work because I get marked as wrong every time I don't do it the way they taught me to even if my answer is right. For example, I will do things like reverse/rearrange the formula or parts of it, break up numbers, round numbers and then do clean up from it later on, etc. It makes it easier for ME to understand and work with, but evidently these teachers don't actually like to think about the math they see you doing, or even want you to think about it and understand it, just parrot the actions in the book like a brainless monkey. I failed algebra twice in middle/high school.... Then went on to make straight As in geometry and algebra II. I also scored high in calculus and trig when they gave me the ACT in 7th grade even though I had never taken those subjects. I now think there's a special place in hell for the person who set up algebra classes to be the way they are today... LOL.

I used to do that in my chemistry class all the time! Instead of using a quick n easy formula to work something out, I'd do a whole page of calculations to break the problem down into every little detail. My teacher used to comment on it regularly (but in a good natured way). Exams aren't geared to aspie ways if thinking. How could they be? Then NT's would feel threatened because they can't approach problems thoroughly - cant have them realising they aren't as good as us in some way eh?

(Ok, ok, I know its not allowed, but this is a good-natured nt poke! I'm just a little fed up of the boringly repetitive way aspergers is described as a "social disadvantage".)

 

[Kuribo]

Gifts

• I think very logically, and am more mature than others of my age as a result
• I'm not as susceptible to the trap of mindless conformity as many people are
• I'm more sympathetic towards towards other people's emotions due to everything I've been through due to being an Aspie
• I know not to judge people based on body language, etc. because of my own difficulties with this
• My unique perception of the world
• I view moral situations terms of how they make people feel rather than basing my moral code off of what I've been told

Burdens

• Severe social anxiety
• Being judged on my less-than-expressive body language
• Dealing with indirect forms of communication
• Meltdowns
• My tendency to panic and worry excessively
• My intense anger
• The fact that I struggle to sustain conversations

 

[rollerskate]

I used to do that in my chemistry class all the time! Instead of using a quick n easy formula to work something out, I'd do a whole page of calculations to break the problem down into every little detail. My teacher used to comment on it regularly (but in a good natured way). Exams aren't geared to aspie ways if thinking. How could they be? Then NT's would feel threatened because they can't approach problems thoroughly - cant have them realising they aren't as good as us in some way eh?

(Ok, ok, I know its not allowed, but this is a good-natured nt poke! I'm just a little fed up of the boringly repetitive way aspergers is described as a "social disadvantage".)

Wow I am so glad someone gets what I'm talking about!

 

[deerlion]

Glad with:
• Being mature and serious about my study
• Seeing through people (For example; I study design and when we get together at the end of a semester to show each other our product, I can just pick out the ones with stolen designs or lazy designs with a really bad, made up story)
• Being who I am! ^^ I'm sorry, but some people are really boring (so sorry, I'm not putting myself above them)
• Picking up rather quick! Always handy
• Being happy with my hobbies! Never a dull moment gheghe.
• My girlfriend! How hard it is for her sometimes; she promised to stay.

This sucks:
• Going blank after a long story and then don't know what to say.
• Kinda jealous of all the aspies with super awesome science/math jobs. I WISH! ):
•"Friends" who leave you when they find out you're not one of the cool ones..
•Also, I'm high sensitive, gay, vegan, gifted and have synesthesia; I feel like I need to choose which 'thing' I should tell to people, because you get told you're an attention-whore when you tell it all. Frustrating!

And, I'm new here Very happy to read all those stories and stuff. Makes me feel less lonely!

 

[umbrellabeach]

I thought of something else: Hyperfocusing can sometimes be a burden of AS. While I normally enjoy it, I don't like when I hyperfocus on things I don't want to think about. Once I start it's difficult for me to stop. I've been struggling with it especially for the past year and a half, and it causes me a lot of anxiety at times. I think I might be learning to control it, though. I'm trying.

 

[Jimbo]

Best part is that being obsessive comes in handy in my carpet cleaning business. Tends to make happy customers. Plus I obsessively studied the business before I started it.

Worst part might be that I don't share emotions with others including my wife.

 

[Fox]

The worst part of being Aspie:
- The painful shyness and awkwardness I experience everyday.
-The paralyzing fear of others finding out and this charade of me being just like everyone else is completely shattered.
- The inability to maintain friendships, and not knowing where I went wrong when I try my hardest and they still fail.
- The inability to control or mask my feelings or reactions.

The best parts of being Aspie:
- I have a beautiful imagination in more ways than one. The art I create is pleasing to the eye. My writing is incredibly fluid. I am very talented when it comes to creative problem solving.
- I am an incredibly logical individual.
- I am very skilled when it comes to organization. It opens doors for me as far as careers go later down the road.
- I am the best company to keep. The conversations I have with myself are some of the best and most stimulating conversations I've ever had!
- My thought processes move quicker than most people's and as such decisions that people will mull over for days I can compute and move on with in my head in a matter of hours.
- The beautiful and enriching relationship I have with my Aspie boyfriend, and the companionship and love we both recieve from it. I also have an older Aspie who understands what I've been through to talk to whenever I need to.

 

[garnetflower13]

I hate showing my work because I get marked as wrong every time I don't do it the way they taught me to even if my answer is right. For example, I will do things like reverse/rearrange the formula or parts of it, break up numbers, round numbers and then do clean up from it later on, etc. It makes it easier for ME to understand and work with, but evidently these teachers don't actually like to think about the math they see you doing, or even want you to think about it and understand it, just parrot the actions in the book like a brainless monkey. I failed algebra twice in middle/high school.... Then went on to make straight As in geometry and algebra II. I also scored high in calculus and trig when they gave me the ACT in 7th grade even though I had never taken those subjects. I now think there's a special place in hell for the person who set up algebra classes to be the way they are today... LOL.

I had this same problem all through grade school and high school. Worse, if I couldn't show my "work" I got accused of cheating! Like you, I often did things differently then the way I had been shown, so that was cause for consternation on the instructors part. When I took the Army intelligence exam, I also got accused of cheating and they made me take the exam again; alone in a room. I scored even higher and they were made to look like fools.

 

[rollerskate]

I had this same problem all through grade school and high school. Worse, if I couldn't show my "work" I got accused of cheating! Like you, I often did things differently then the way I had been shown, so that was cause for consternation on the instructors part. When I took the Army intelligence exam, I also got accused of cheating and they made me take the exam again; alone in a room. I scored even higher and they were made to look like fools.

I wonder, does anyone here have a knack for guessing answers for things most people have to do math on and/or measure? I can accurately guess measurements, price totals, distances, etc without ever computing a thing, like some sort of weird sixth sense. It used to make my mathematically gifted boyfriend completely puzzled because I could guess these things sooner than he could get any kind of head math done on them, and be spot on... He swore it should have been impossible for me to do that. But interestingly actual number crunching, especially mental math, takes me ages to do, and I'm less accurate with it...

 

[Loomis]

Wow I am so glad someone gets what I'm talking about!

Of course we get it; you are among kindred spirits here.