Was your social anxiety with you since birth?

[xDominiel]

Did you experience social anxiety for as long as you can remember, or did it first become a problem and/or gradually get worse as you grew up and had bad experiences?

As a kid I wasn't very anxious at all. I was awkward socially but I didn't really fear other people to the extent I did later. I'm trying to work out if the anxiety I experience is due to Asperger's or due to trauma caused by my family and bullies, so I'm interested in hearing about how others who suffer from anxiety have experienced it, how and when it manifested.

 

[Shawn D]

I used to be a very social, happy-go-lucky kid, until the weight of the world crushed my spirit.
As the years passed, I became more withdrawn, until, by high school, I was eating lunch alone in the classroom.
It just seemed like the more I tried, the more my peers rejected me.

 

[xDominiel]

An accidental double-post isn't too rare, but... octuple-post? Lol :I

It just seemed like the more I tried, the more my peers rejected me.

Same. Looking back, I worry that even the few friends I had at one time saw me as "less" than them, or inferior.

 

[Judge]

I seem to get along with my peers without any real symptoms until I was around ten years old...and then things began to unravel...and the onslaught of social anxiety took root.

When kids got nasty.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I was always shy and socially awkward, but the real social anxiety didn't kick in until secondary school, when my best friend ditched me and encouraged her new friends to bully me. After 3 years of being bullied and socially ostracised I was an anxious mess.

 

[LittleLemon]

No. I was shy, but I never experienced anxiety with people until I started becoming aware that other kids were laughing at me and talking about me. When I was told I was boring in high school and another guy asked me why I was such a loser, the anxiety got even worse.

 

[Maria6681]

I like this question as i always wondered where the trauma had effect me and to where the autism come in.... as a child I suffered ever kind of abuse going so of course that life me to not trust people and being scared of what they could do. But i think the autism bit is I am very socially awkward I do not know how or what to say but if someone ask me a question I can answer but most of the time I can not carry it something I don't get what people are saying or even get a joke so people thing that I am standoffish and a bit rude as I don't know how to react. I do know how to have fun i don't have a personality but not sure what that down to trauma or autism

 

[Shawn D]

An accidental double-post isn't too rare, but... octuple-post? Lol :I

I was using my Tapatalk app to post and kept getting error messages telling me to wait at least 4 seconds and then try again. So I did. I guess it error-ed in error.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

I'm not sure. I've always managed to get along with others; when I was young, I liked to play on my own and didn't like it if somebody came to join me; but I let them play with me as I knew my manners, as well as what I would get if I was rude. When I started school, it was the same, but as I got older, other children started bullying me, and I became withdrawn.

I had horrible experiences of bullying in secondary school until we started in the 3rd year (year9), when it inexplicably stopped! I've never found out why it did, but I didn't complain. There were 1 or 2 isolated incidents later on, and a bit of minor bullying from another girl, but otherwise, things got a lot better.

When I entered the workplace, I went out of my way to be liked and, as far as I know, I was; but it was hard work, especially as I acted young for my age (had a lot of catching up to do, long story) and, when I was in Germany, working with Spaniards (I was a waitress), there were a few cultural clashes. I also found myself copying people I'd known in the past, or people off the telly, as I didn't know how to fit in - typical autie behaviour, I know now!

 

[xDominiel]

When I was told I was boring in high school and another guy asked me why I was such a loser, the anxiety got even worse.

I think the point when it got as worse as it's ever been for me was when I was told the entire school I went to was spreading vicious rumors about me and genuinely thought I was.. Err, the r-word, and schizophrenic since I was seeing a therapist at the time. I broke down so hard I dropped out of everything and had trouble even getting the mail. I isolated myself for years. Thankfully I've been able to pick myself back up and improve since then.

 

[Irene Helrose]

Definitely, but it has gotten worse as I grew older.

 

[Aster]

I second Irene's comment. When I was in my teens I developed panic disorder and then the social aspect became worse as my avoidance did.

 

[OkRad]

I seemed ok till 14 when something happened. No one knows . it is like childhood disintegrive disorder but at 14! I lost ability to talk, eat, sleep, socialize, had to quit sports, etc....EVERYTHING fell apart.

I went so far into Locked In Mode that I did not have social anxiety, other than to just get away from everything and go home. I used to walk ten miles home from a school, just to feel the cool air. I had absolutely NO understanding of people, so it was not them per se. It was feeling totally trapped 24/7, total panic, wondering what had happened, and wanting to be alone. It was hell.

 

[Tylerorion]

Personally, I've had anxiety all my life, but it got worse when I was about 13. I had my first panic attack at 7, but I could still function quite normally, I went to school and didn't isolate myself in any way. I could also go outside with no problem. So I would say it became a life-limiting issue when I became a teenager. I have no idea what it's caused by, but it's possible that it's a mix of Asperger's and trauma.

Have a good rest of the day, and happy holidays!

 

[Ylva]

No, it was learned.

 

[jayraytee]

Don't think I ever actually felt anxious socially, but I would get migraines from too much social interaction. I don't recognize feelings very well, in myself or others. What I pick up on is more simplistic, I know when something is good or bad. I never liked socializing, so it was on the bad list. I liked a challenge like solving genealogical puzzles, so it's on the good list. I can tell when my wife is not feeling good.. but distinguishing between the subtle nuances of depressed, sad, lonely, tired, sick, mad, etc. I just can't seem to do very well.

When I went through my first diagnosis, I realized this. I always used to just say 'I don't like interacting with people' or 'I don't like this or that food.' But never actually knew why or asked myself the question why. It's only when I had to try to explain the reasons;

I don't like to socialize.. because I end up feeling sick afterwards... because I tend to have to both try and act neurotypical and I have to memorize the conversations... because I have a need to run through the conversation later and examine context.. because I don't know what people mean by what they say... because I don't read body language well.

So for some the not reading body language well, etc might cause them to feel anxiety. All I knew was I hated socializing.

 

[Suzanne]

Suffered social anxiety since a child! I was known to be the very quiet one and frightened of my own shadow. I would never just pop to a shop on my own; always had to be with a sister.

But, as I grew older, I was able to use stratagies to get around this awful feeling of hating the idea of scrutiny and that was, wearing dark glasses and having a book to read or my music to listen to. As long as I had something in my hand, I could just about cope going out on my own.

However, it all changed when I moved to France and I would be classified as disabled. I can just about walk to our bins once a week and go to our local chemist, but never NEVER could I get on a bus and go further.

I said recently it feels very similar to being on the front line of a waring army and I am the leader and have to make sure that my men are all there, as we battle against the enemy; that is how frightening it is to me.

I go into surreal mode when I have to go out on my own; feels like I am looking at myself walking and thinking: oh wow, look at what you are doing and cannot shake that feeling off!

 

[Jusdifferent]

I like this question as i always wondered where the trauma had effect me and to where the autism come in.... as a child I suffered ever kind of abuse going so of course that life me to not trust people and being scared of what they could do.

Me too :-< ( I am a survivor of incest, and the kiddie porn industry. ) Also, I volunteered for many, many years in an animal rescue/welfare group. I've pretty much seen the worst of humanity. I no longer trust people, and pretty much keep to myself. I hear you on that <3

 

[Jusdifferent]

I think the point when it got as worse as it's ever been for me was when I was told the entire school I went to was spreading vicious rumors about me and genuinely thought I was.. Err, the r-word, and schizophrenic since I was seeing a therapist at the time. I broke down so hard I dropped out of everything and had trouble even getting the mail. I isolated myself for years. Thankfully I've been able to pick myself back up and improve since then.

(((HUG))) Gossip can be so vicious

 

[On the Inside]

I was shy, anxiety came from absorbing the general chaos of being youngest in a big family, dad being a powder keg liable to blow at any time.

I also read a lot, current events, history, medical journals (they were around the house). I became aware of the dangers that exist in the world at an early age. Generalized anxiety became known to me.

While I didn't socialize much, my friends were all nerds, I had known them since grade school, and we stuck together, so it seemed I had no problem socializing. When I went to college is when I learned that I was unable to form relationships with new people.

Not until adulthood did I learn of such a thing as social anxiety.