Traits?

[xanni]

I am new to understanding AS and I'm hoping someone here can help me sort out a piece of the puzzle. I read about the traits people with AS share, but what has always been a deep mystery is what are the traits that people who don't have AS share. What are they capable of that I am not comprehending? Can someone explain what I am missing, because honestly I just can't put my finger on what makes me (and them) so different. What does a person with AS lack? If I could figure out why I have been rejected and shunned by so many people, maybe it will be easier for me to forgive them the rejection and be able move on. It would be bliss to understand.

 

[Ylva]

To me it looks like they have some sort of gene or brain formation that makes them conformists. There was an article in a British newspaper some time back that described an experiment with autistic and non-autistic children who were shown how to take a toy out of a box, and the person showing was doing all sorts of nonsensical unrelated things like knocking on the box first, and only the non-autistic children copied the nonsense behaviour. The autistic ones wouldn't be bothered with all that. So, it's some social thing. Probably the very thing they hate NLP for – imitation.

 

[Judge]

What are they capable of that I am not comprehending? Can someone explain what I am missing, because honestly I just can't put my finger on what makes me (and them) so different. What does a person with AS lack?

It's an oversimplification, however IMO we collectively don't relate to the notion of socialization without purpose. Which inherently puts us with odds against NTs on multiple levels. They default to socialization without purpose. We don't.

 

[bentHnau]

So, it's some social thing. Probably the very thing they hate NLP for – imitation.

What's NLP? Neuro-linguistic programming?

 

[Ylva]

What's NLP? Neuro-linguistic programming?

Yeah. NTs love to put it down. They feel that it's manipulative, which is roughly how I feel about nearly all of their behaviour. I guess that qualifies as irony.

 

[millie33]

I think they (NT's) have some kind of collective view of reality based on mutual consensus that we just don't have.

 

[bentHnau]

What are they capable of that I am not comprehending?

If I had to put it down to one thing, I would go with: an innate tendency to prioritize social concerns over individual and personal concerns.

 

[Ylva]

If I had to put it down to one thing, I would go with: an innate tendency to prioritize social concerns over individual and personal concerns.

They obviously have their times of overwhelm-ment, too, but they conveniently forget it.

 

[epath13]

It all depends on a person. You may say you're lacking something or have problem with something when a certain trait doesn't let you achieve what you want from life. Some people (whoever they are) may be perfectly content with who they are and some are always trying to improve themselves. Being on the spectrum is being different, the reason it is considered as a disorder is because some of the traits may prevent a person to lead independent life and be a valuable part of a community (which is an ultimate goal of a human being in our society). Value of a human being evolves and maybe eventually, because of that and because we will learn to communicate on various levels, Autism will stop being a disorder. Here's my personal experience. I knew I was different since I was 2 years old, by age of 9 I realized it was something in my brain that made me that way. Here a few things I wished I understood better and needed help with: I didn't understand how to communicate with people of deeper level, I had very vague idea about making friends and engaging other people; I felt trapped in my own mind, I knew I understood many things on higher level but I couldn't use my talents and intelligence the way I wished; my sensory issues distracted me from things I wanted to do very frequently. I wanted to write, draw and read more but I would become to overwhelmed. I wanted to engage more people into my games and projects, but I couldn't read their emotional needs very well and never knew what to say. Whether you are on the spectrum or not, it all depends on what you want from life and where you are willing to compromise. If you want something but your traits are interfering, then maybe you want to figure out, how to work with them without completely denying their existence. I am hypersensitive and it's hard to deal with sometimes, but I also think it's a gift because my vision of myself and the world around me is much shaper and more vivid. I may struggle with socializing but it gave me opportunity to see people from different perspective, it inspired me to learn more about human behavior; plus the way I am also helped me not to be controlled by emotions that much. Nobody's way is better or worse, it's all depends on how you look at it and who you want to be.

 

[Peace]

It is said that people with Autism do not understand the minds of others, which people without Autism apparently do.

 

[2aspirin]

It is said that people with Autism do not understand the minds of others, which people without Autism apparently do.

I definitely understand the minds of others but intellectually and not through sensorimotor response to reflexive reactions to tone of voice and non-verbal signals. That difference from birth leads to a whole set of differences.

On the positive side, we are often not nearly as worried about or assuming of what others think. We are more concerned with trying to get straight up information enough to predict actions and intentions.