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The hardest part of meditation...

Mindfulness is very beneficial for those of us who constantly worry or try to figure out what is coming later. The major revelation that I managed to get through is that mindfulness is about putting all of your thoughts into the activity you are doing. Slow the breathing, make deliberate actions, and focus. It all produces a sense of calm. When I catch myself getting revved up, I think "mindfulness". It becomes easier to do with time. I like the peace and serenity that comes with slowing down. I'm more patient and more accepting of change, frustration, or disappointment. I know that I am not near any real meditation stage. I'm just satisfied with the "here and now" benefits of simple steps.
 
Mindf'Elle'ness said:
Ummm, some of us have full time jobs, kids, a mortgage. Plenty of distractions.
I believe people have to be involved in m.m. as much or as little as is right for them in the moment. It helps me a lot to do it for the 20 minutes I have after work.
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Great, that's a lot to do in this day and age. Raising kids is harder with them having phones, gaming system. I never said no to my daughter but l scratched my head a lot after she turned into an adult!
 
Peter Morrison said:
Mindfulness is very beneficial for those of us who constantly worry or try to figure out what is coming later. The major revelation that I managed to get through is that mindfulness is about putting all of your thoughts into the activity you are doing. Slow the breathing, make deliberate actions, and focus. It all produces a sense of calm. When I catch myself getting revved up, I think "mindfulness". It becomes easier to do with time. I like the peace and serenity that comes with slowing down. I'm more patient and more accepting of change, frustration, or disappointment. I know that I am not near any real meditation stage. I'm just satisfied with the "here and now" benefits of simple steps.
Click to expand...

I agree with this wholeheartedly. For the longest time I dedicated hundreds, if not thousands of hours to lamenting the past or fearing the future. The notion of mindfulness seemed like an unobtainable ideal. It took me a long time to realise what I spent the most time fearing was situations completely out of my control. Once I started to see this pattern it felt easier to let go.

When I began to read, learn and practice mindfulness as well as pairing this with therapy and meditation - I started to see that I didn't have to rise to the bait with my fears or worries. As I knew where that would send me - down the rabbit hole.

Simply taking in the world around me, slowing down and appreciating what I have helps me to put things into perspective. The supposed needs, wants and desires for what I assumed would make me happy were in many ways a catalyst which was making me feel sad. I guess, the less you want the happier you will become.

It's not to say anxiety and depression doesn't come and go - but when I see what I'm doing, I tell myself to stop adding to it. Simply allowing these feelings to be, and exploring them without a narrative or judgement. To see how they feel and where they feel. Knowing that I don't have to pursue them or stoke the flames any further if I don't want to. I guess knowing that I have control was the most empowering realisation during the years where I was convinced anxiety and depression were holding the reigns. Just as important - to be able to let these feelings go without holding onto them. My therapist pointed out a rather simple, if effective truth - we often hold onto negatives a lot longer and more readily than we do positives.

Ed
 
Raggamuffin said:
I agree with this wholeheartedly. For the longest time I dedicated hundreds, if not thousands of hours to lamenting the past or fearing the future. The notion of mindfulness seemed like an unobtainable ideal. It took me a long time to realise what I spent the most time fearing was situations completely out of my control. Once I started to see this pattern it felt easier to let go.

When I began to read, learn and practice mindfulness as well as pairing this with therapy and meditation - I started to see that I didn't have to rise to the bait with my fears or worries. As I knew where that would send me - down the rabbit hole.

Simply taking in the world around me, slowing down and appreciating what I have helps me to put things into perspective. The supposed needs, wants and desires for what I assumed would make me happy were in many ways a catalyst which was making me feel sad. I guess, the less you want the happier you will become.

It's not to say anxiety and depression doesn't come and go - but when I see what I'm doing, I tell myself to stop adding to it. Simply allowing these feelings to be, and exploring them without a narrative or judgement. To see how they feel and where they feel. Knowing that I don't have to pursue them or stoke the flames any further if I don't want to. I guess knowing that I have control was the most empowering realisation during the years where I was convinced anxiety and depression were holding the reigns. Just as important - to be able to let these feelings go without holding onto them. My therapist pointed out a rather simple, if effective truth - we often hold onto negatives a lot longer and more readily than we do positives.

Ed
Click to expand...
"Happiness is wanting what we have, and not wanting what we don't have."
 
Mindf'Elle'ness said:
Have you tried to clear your mind by counting your breaths? It's easy (for me) to think of nothing else when I count each exhale, up to 10 and then start over again.
Or a new one I learned to do for deeper breathing is to say to myself while I'm breathing in "I know that I can breathe in" and then on the exhale " I know that I can breathe out". If you're saying that in your head then you will be more in the moment.
I've been told that it's virtually impossible for anyone to be focused 100% of the time, but we just bring ourselves back to the breath.
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I try but find it very difficult. This was the first kind of mindfulness I tried. I use it in moments of high levels stress but it doesn’t completely close my brain off (usually). I’m still working on now. I am breathing in, I am breathing out. It help to feel my belly go in and out sometimes.
 
Meditation where I focus on counting breaths for me. Then, there are also meditations where you focus on visualisation according to the guide - things such as trees or mountains, of skies, with specific affirmations. These are the easiest for me, I can turn off the voice-language-chatter and just focus on my default way of thinking - the visual. If I stray with thoughts, I mentally pat myself to focus again and let the thought drift away, like a piece of driftwood in the sea.
 
Raggamuffin said:
I agree with this wholeheartedly. For the longest time I dedicated hundreds, if not thousands of hours to lamenting the past or fearing the future. The notion of mindfulness seemed like an unobtainable ideal. It took me a long time to realise what I spent the most time fearing was situations completely out of my control. Once I started to see this pattern it felt easier to let go.

When I began to read, learn and practice mindfulness as well as pairing this with therapy and meditation - I started to see that I didn't have to rise to the bait with my fears or worries. As I knew where that would send me - down the rabbit hole.

Simply taking in the world around me, slowing down and appreciating what I have helps me to put things into perspective. The supposed needs, wants and desires for what I assumed would make me happy were in many ways a catalyst which was making me feel sad. I guess, the less you want the happier you will become.

It's not to say anxiety and depression doesn't come and go - but when I see what I'm doing, I tell myself to stop adding to it. Simply allowing these feelings to be, and exploring them without a narrative or judgement. To see how they feel and where they feel. Knowing that I don't have to pursue them or stoke the flames any further if I don't want to. I guess knowing that I have control was the most empowering realisation during the years where I was convinced anxiety and depression were holding the reigns. Just as important - to be able to let these feelings go without holding onto them. My therapist pointed out a rather simple, if effective truth - we often hold onto negatives a lot longer and more readily than we do positives.

Ed
Click to expand...
I WONDERED when you were going to join us in this conversation! LOL
I'm so happy to have your input.
 
onlything said:
Meditation where I focus on counting breaths for me. Then, there are also meditations where you focus on visualisation according to the guide - things such as trees or mountains, of skies, with specific affirmations. These are the easiest for me, I can turn off the voice-language-chatter and just focus on my default way of thinking - the visual. If I stray with thoughts, I mentally pat myself to focus again and let the thought drift away, like a piece of driftwood in the sea.
Click to expand...
You touched on one of my favourite topics - non-attachment, when you talked about having less meant more. We put too much value on material acquisitions that they end up OWNING us.
Raggamuffin said:
I agree with this wholeheartedly. For the longest time I dedicated hundreds, if not thousands of hours to lamenting the past or fearing the future. The notion of mindfulness seemed like an unobtainable ideal. It took me a long time to realise what I spent the most time fearing was situations completely out of my control. Once I started to see this pattern it felt easier to let go.

When I began to read, learn and practice mindfulness as well as pairing this with therapy and meditation - I started to see that I didn't have to rise to the bait with my fears or worries. As I knew where that would send me - down the rabbit hole.

Simply taking in the world around me, slowing down and appreciating what I have helps me to put things into perspective. The supposed needs, wants and desires for what I assumed would make me happy were in many ways a catalyst which was making me feel sad. I guess, the less you want the happier you will become.

It's not to say anxiety and depression doesn't come and go - but when I see what I'm doing, I tell myself to stop adding to it. Simply allowing these feelings to be, and exploring them without a narrative or judgement. To see how they feel and where they feel. Knowing that I don't have to pursue them or stoke the flames any further if I don't want to. I guess knowing that I have control was the most empowering realisation during the years where I was convinced anxiety and depression were holding the reigns. Just as important - to be able to let these feelings go without holding onto them. My therapist pointed out a rather simple, if effective truth - we often hold onto negatives a lot longer and more readily than we do positives.

Ed
Click to expand...
You touched on one of my favourite topics - non-attachment, when you talked about having less meant more. We put too much value on material acquisitions that they end up OWNING us.
Also, when we stress about feeling so stressed, we're compounding the problem. If we see stress as like a child standing beside us having a tantrum, we notice it, ask it if there's anything we can do to help (or some other question) it will tire itself out and go away from our thoughts.
 
Darwin said:
I think I can start with a minute or two, but I don’t think I can do it in a group.
But I still have tons of things I have to do like studying, reading (I have a list of about 30 books I want to read. Each of them is between 300-500 pages!), learning designing and other things, so I don’t know how to clear up my mind, forget about everything and meditate.

Did you have the same problems when you first started meditating?
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I started meditation after my car accident when I had LOTS of free time.
It sounds like you are very busy, but almost anyone can find 3 -5 minutes a day to take a brain break
 
ZebraAspie said:
I try but find it very difficult. This was the first kind of mindfulness I tried. I use it in moments of high levels stress but it doesn’t completely close my brain off (usually). I’m still working on now. I am breathing in, I am breathing out. It help to feel my belly go in and out sometimes.
Click to expand...
Yes, you're right! Some people find it helpful to touch the area of their body where they feel their breath the most as an extra reminder.
 
Peter Morrison said:
Mindfulness is very beneficial for those of us who constantly worry or try to figure out what is coming later. The major revelation that I managed to get through is that mindfulness is about putting all of your thoughts into the activity you are doing. Slow the breathing, make deliberate actions, and focus. It all produces a sense of calm. When I catch myself getting revved up, I think "mindfulness". It becomes easier to do with time. I like the peace and serenity that comes with slowing down. I'm more patient and more accepting of change, frustration, or disappointment. I know that I am not near any real meditation stage. I'm just satisfied with the "here and now" benefits of simple steps.
Click to expand...
There's mindful eating, mindful walking, etc. It's all about enjoying the here and now and using all of our senses to take it in.
 
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We're changing hours slightly at work to finish earlier. No more lake for my meditation. I'm going to go to my car I think. Windows open. Seat reclined as I find abdominal breathing easier if I'm not sat upright.

Should be good as my car is parked less than a minutes walk away from where I sit.

Ed
 
Mindf'Elle'ness said:
The point of meditation is to empty your mind of thought.
Our thoughts are false. ...
My favourite of the moment is..."I am grateful that in each moment I have the ability to change my life at will".
Even if you don't really believe this, you may come to eventually, because the mind is a powerful thing. Meditation over time is believed to rewire our neurons. Mend them.
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I'm the opposite to you on your first point, I was very meditative in childhood about all things in my life and knowledge and have got back to that. Very much agreed on last mentioned points. Every day & in every way I am getting better & better & better.

There were years in between when it got less successful because I thought I had to do it the way "I was told". But that's just me ;)
 
Wolfgangus Faldestolius said:
I'm the opposite to you on your first point, I was very meditative in childhood about all things in my life and knowledge and have got back to that. Very much agreed on last mentioned points. Every day & in every way I am getting better & better & better.

There were years in between when it got less successful because I thought I had to do it the way "I was told". But that's just me ;)
Click to expand...
Many roads lead to the same destination :smileycat:
 
Today's meditation was good. Often I find my chest can get tight when I focus on breathing. Towards the end of this session I visualised this tight chest as a belt around me.

This idea and the focus behind it was to break the belt and I found by the end of the session I was breathing much deeper and easily from the abdomen.

I found it to be quite an effective visualisation and I think I'll explore it again.

When I got back into the office my mood was lifted once again. I found processes I often think of as dull and laborious were a lot more enjoyable and I sat with a big grin on my face for almost an hour. My music sounded a lot more enjoyable too.

30 minutes until I finish for the day as well. Happy days.

Ed
 
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