The hardest part of meditation...

[Mindf'Elle'ness]

Today's meditation was good. Often I find my chest can get tight when I focus on breathing. Towards the end of this session I visualised this tight chest as a belt around me.

This idea and the focus behind it was to break the belt and I found by the end of the session I was breathing much deeper and easily from the abdomen.

I found it to be quite an effective visualisation and I think I'll explore it again.

When I got back into the office my mood was lifted once again. I found processes I often think of as dull and laborious were a lot more enjoyable and I sat with a big grin on my face for almost an hour. My music sounded a lot more enjoyable too.

30 minutes until I finish for the day as well. Happy days.

Ed

I'm glad it was a good one for you!
Visualization can be very difficult. I have a hard time with the one in my guided meditation about imagining a stream of warm sunlight pouring into our heads, through our body, down to our toes and then filling up every part of our body back up to our heads. I struggle through it though.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

I've got to admit, breathing more sensibly has been a great help to me at all times.

 

[SDRSpark]

I'm finding this thread more helpful, optimistic and informative than any of the meditation articles I've read over the past several months. I guess us autistic types have a unique set of challenges when it comes to meditation that the authors of those articles don't quite grasp.

It occurred to me while reading the responses here that my mind has a unique ability (true blessing/curse here) to "split" and allow me to continue ruminating on the thing I should be letting go of while performing whatever mental gymnastics I'm attempting to perform to stop the rumination in the first place.

Example:

I don't want to think about pink elephants. In order to achieve this (not thinking about pink elephants) I will count sheep.

My brain then proceeds to count sheep while visualizing a pink elephant.

"Just think about something else" never works. "Focus on your breathing" never works. About the only thing that does work is coming, eventually, to accept the presence of the pink elephant and no longer be disturbed by its presence. I've yet to find a way to accelerate this process - whatever my pink elephant du jour happens to be, it always takes more time than I'd like to get to the point where it can exist in the room without causing me distress. (And eventually, once I stop watching it with constant trepidation, it saunters off.)

Someone in here mentioned managed expectations - I think that's a huge key for me when it comes to mediation practice - so far, regularly scheduled sit-down meditation time hasn't really been that appealing, and it is a chore. However taking a few minutes whenever and wherever to relax and just *exist* does. Like someone else here, I have a hard time just being. Even on vacation, I have to pace around, or look at my phone, or fidget, or ruminate. I can't just sit on the balcony with a glass of wine and enjoy the moment. I wish I could, but so far, that ability has eluded me except for rare, brief moments. For me, the second meditation became a something which required discipline (and after the novelty wore off) it became a source of stress which seemed counterproductive and I soon gave up on the idea.

I look forward to a time when I will look forward to just relaxing and existing, and I hope that happens for me. It's been 32 years and I've yet to learn what apparently comes naturally to everyone else.

 

[Mia]

I've been told that it's virtually impossible for anyone to be focused 100% of the time, but we just bring ourselves back to the breath.

That was really helpful Mindfullness, I've been doing that, as I cannot seem to keep my mind from wandering endlessely. Bringing myself back and telling myself to count breaths has helped I think. Thank you

 

[Mindf'Elle'ness]

I'm finding this thread more helpful, optimistic and informative than any of the meditation articles I've read over the past several months. I guess us autistic types have a unique set of challenges when it comes to meditation that the authors of those articles don't quite grasp.

It occurred to me while reading the responses here that my mind has a unique ability (true blessing/curse here) to "split" and allow me to continue ruminating on the thing I should be letting go of while performing whatever mental gymnastics I'm attempting to perform to stop the rumination in the first place.

Example:

I don't want to think about pink elephants. In order to achieve this (not thinking about pink elephants) I will count sheep.

My brain then proceeds to count sheep while visualizing a pink elephant.

"Just think about something else" never works. "Focus on your breathing" never works. About the only thing that does work is coming, eventually, to accept the presence of the pink elephant and no longer be disturbed by its presence. I've yet to find a way to accelerate this process - whatever my pink elephant du jour happens to be, it always takes more time than I'd like to get to the point where it can exist in the room without causing me distress. (And eventually, once I stop watching it with constant trepidation, it saunters off.)

Someone in here mentioned managed expectations - I think that's a huge key for me when it comes to mediation practice - so far, regularly scheduled sit-down meditation time hasn't really been that appealing, and it is a chore. However taking a few minutes whenever and wherever to relax and just *exist* does. Like someone else here, I have a hard time just being. Even on vacation, I have to pace around, or look at my phone, or fidget, or ruminate. I can't just sit on the balcony with a glass of wine and enjoy the moment. I wish I could, but so far, that ability has eluded me except for rare, brief moments. For me, the second meditation became a something which required discipline (and after the novelty wore off) it became a source of stress which seemed counterproductive and I soon gave up on the idea.

I look forward to a time when I will look forward to just relaxing and existing, and I hope that happens for me. It's been 32 years and I've yet to learn what apparently comes naturally to everyone else.

So, I have discovered, that I can count breaths AND ruminate at the same time. Annoying. However, either my voice or the mediator's voice chimes in and reminds me to focus solely on the breath and it works for a while longer.
Trick is to forgive yourself and forget that you were distracted, because it happens to everyone and we shouldn't beat ourselves up for it.
I love that you have found this thread so helpful. I want everyone who ruminates to know that there IS help out there and it doesn't have to be complicated.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

... what apparently comes naturally to everyone else.

The "everyone else" (of slick image) are cutting corners, missing out, don't realise they are deceiving themselves. We have the gift of knowing what thinking is.

 

[Aspychata]

I'm finding this thread more helpful, optimistic and informative than any of the meditation articles I've read over the past several months. I guess us autistic types have a unique set of challenges when it comes to meditation that the authors of those articles don't quite grasp.

It occurred to me while reading the responses here that my mind has a unique ability (true blessing/curse here) to "split" and allow me to continue ruminating on the thing I should be letting go of while performing whatever mental gymnastics I'm attempting to perform to stop the rumination in the first place.

Example:

I don't want to think about pink elephants. In order to achieve this (not thinking about pink elephants) I will count sheep.

My brain then proceeds to count sheep while visualizing a pink elephant.

"Just think about something else" never works. "Focus on your breathing" never works. About the only thing that does work is coming, eventually, to accept the presence of the pink elephant and no longer be disturbed by its presence. I've yet to find a way to accelerate this process - whatever my pink elephant du jour happens to be, it always takes more time than I'd like to get to the point where it can exist in the room without causing me distress. (And eventually, once I stop watching it with constant trepidation, it saunters off.)

Someone in here mentioned managed expectations - I think that's a huge key for me when it comes to mediation practice - so far, regularly scheduled sit-down meditation time hasn't really been that appealing, and it is a chore. However taking a few minutes whenever and wherever to relax and just *exist* does. Like someone else here, I have a hard time just being. Even on vacation, I have to pace around, or look at my phone, or fidget, or ruminate. I can't just sit on the balcony with a glass of wine and enjoy the moment. I wish I could, but so far, that ability has eluded me except for rare, brief moments. For me, the second meditation became a something which required discipline (and after the novelty wore off) it became a source of stress which seemed counterproductive and I soon gave up on the idea.

I look forward to a time when I will look forward to just relaxing and existing, and I hope that happens for me. It's been 32 years and I've yet to learn what apparently comes naturally to everyone else.

Exactly what l was thinking, we can multitask our thought process and l have no idea what purpose it serves except to keep us occupied because we have no idea what a -quiet mind- is. I enjoy finding connections, analysing outcomes, and trying to see more so l can fully understand the big picture. Why? I have no idea why. It's just something l like to do. So a quiet mind seems to feel like repression of sorts. But l did go to the beach and work on breathing, being conscious of my breaths, and that helped and lo and behold - quieted the little smurfs running around in my brain.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Exactly what l was thinking, we can multitask our thought process and l have no idea what purpose it serves except to keep us occupied because we have no idea what a -quiet mind- is. I enjoy finding connections, analysing outcomes, and trying to see more so l can fully understand the big picture. Why? I have no idea why. It's just something l like to do. So a quiet mind seems to feel like repression of sorts. But l did go to the beach and work on breathing, being conscious of my breaths, and that helped and lo and behold - quieted the little smurfs running around in my brain.

Aspychata - I honestly think it's more natural, healthier and probably more commonplace to do what you & I do than that going blank lark (I hope that doesn't offend the OP). Having said that my life is now more methodical than 25 years ago and I'm bolder at taking an interest in a wide range of things. I'm suspicious of people thinking they have to "do what they are told" in these matters.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Re-reading this I NOW (several hours later) think the visualisation exercise of mountains, clouds etc is to remind us how much we already know about the world about us and it can be aimed at organising rather than repelling thoughts. Naturally these can revolve around the loveliest and least threatening "heart" of our knowledge. Yes I love to think of Mt Meru and the glaciers of the Ice Age and astronomical bodies that I have read about (am a bit lazy with telescope). Institutional condundrums and bodily ailments fit within that.

 

[onlything]

Re-reading this I NOW (several hours later) think the visualisation exercise of mountains, clouds etc is to remind us how much we already know about the world about us and it can be aimed at organising rather than repelling thoughts. Naturally these can revolve around the loveliest and least threatening "heart" of our knowledge. Yes I love to think of Mt Meru and the glaciers of the Ice Age and astronomical bodies that I have read about (am a bit lazy with telescope). Organisational condundrums and bodily ailments fit within that.

I don't think meditation is about repelling thoughts at all. Repelling thoughts is counterproductive - the more you snap one to stop coming, the more persistent it becomes and you can stop it for a moment, but not for long. Repelled thoughts, in the end, are much like repelled emotions and tend to rot and twist until you can't ignore them anymore and then they just become one big mess.

No, I don't think that meditation is about it at all. It's more about accepting the thoughts as they come, accepting emotions and being fully present in the moment - so for example yes, there is this anxious thought at the back of my head, I see it, but I won't focus on it now, there is a time and place for everything and right now is to remember about the moment, become aware of my body and what is happening with it, focus on the surrounding and nature, of things I know are true in this moment.

It's about calm and peace, and acceptance, being strict but gentle with your brain and letting yourself just be. No judgment or looking for solution, just unconditional acceptance of your current circumstances.

What I do with stray thoughts is to realise they are there but that it's not the time to dwell on them - so I accept their presence but gently let them go and focus back on counting my breaths or visualisation exercises.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

... focus on the surrounding and nature, of things I know are true in this moment.

It's about calm and peace, and acceptance, being strict but gentle with your brain and letting yourself just be. No judgment or looking for solution, just unconditional acceptance of your current circumstances.

What I do with stray thoughts is to realise they are there but that it's not the time to dwell on them - so I accept their presence but gently let them go and focus back on counting my breaths or visualisation exercises.

Accepting emotions - and letting the thoughts stay - my head is plenty big enough - this was my instinct when young, I suffered the same as everyone, if consciously more vividly, but it hadn't got to me.

The middle period, yes I was "mental chaos".

A sharp colleague commented my language (post diagnosis) is very concrete, as if identifying a rare gift (that shouldn't be rare).

I see the universe as having infinite layers like the best lasagne of the best grandmother in Italy (don't wear a white shirt)!

Thoughts are so "at home" in my head, I'm happy with them coming home again if they've popped out!

 

[onlything]

Accepting emotions - and letting the thoughts stay - my head is plenty big enough - this was my instinct when young, I suffered the same as everyone, if consciously more vividly, but it hadn't got to me.

The middle period, yes I was "mental chaos".

A sharp colleague commented my language (post diagnosis) is very concrete, as if identifying a rare gift (that shouldn't be rare).

I see the universe as having infinite layers like the best lasagne of the best grandmother in Italy (don't wear a white shirt)!

Thoughts are so "at home" in my head, I'm happy with them coming home again if they've popped out!

From my understanding, that's the point. You accept the thoughts and you let them be. You just don't consciously focus on them during the meditation. You can always come back to them later but for the time of the meditation, you let them become part of the background noise.

 

[homo_aspien]

Buzzing mind is so hard to calm. I have been struggling to meditate for years, I would get frustrated because I was not able to do it, and would not try for a long periods of time. Then, in the right moment in my life I stumbled upon this guided meditation, it changed my life. I was able to 'let go' for just a moment, but I know now this state is attainable, and this meditation brought bouts of tears and emotional release because I was clenching to my anxiety before it. It set me on my path of healing.

This meditation takes your awarness throughout your body and gives enough input to keep your wandering mind on a right path.

I have found out that best way for me is to lie down in savasana, or corpse joga pose, because sitting up is too distracting.

 

[sidd851]

So, I have discovered, that I can count breaths AND ruminate at the same time. Annoying. However, either my voice or the mediator's voice chimes in and reminds me to focus solely on the breath and it works for a while longer.
Trick is to forgive yourself and forget that you were distracted, because it happens to everyone and we shouldn't beat ourselves up for it.
I love that you have found this thread so helpful. I want everyone who ruminates to know that there IS help out there and it doesn't have to be complicated.

This is soooo awesome!
When we progress to where we have the control and ability that you describe, we can begin to play with our awareness, and, it is part and parcel of exploring the topography of our minds! There are many exercises, within the greater practice of M.M., that are both fun, and ultimately, exploratory in nature.
Playing with gravity is one of my personal favorites. "Eating an orange, for the first time", is another. The nuance and power and plasticity of our minds is amazing!

I'd like to offer up a recommendation.
Meditation For Dummies, by Stephan Bodian, contains a veritable treasure trove of hints, helps, tips and tricks to to bring us closer to our practice.
Of particular interest, it would seem, to our current discussion about stumbling blocks, is the "Troubleshooting" section of the book, which the author has thoughtfully compounded for us to address common difficulties experienced, namely, all of the difficulties that have been brought up here.

I practice in the Theravadan Buddhist tradition, but Stephan has done a wonderful job drawing from all meditation traditions in a wonderfully nonpartisan way.
He also dedicates time to the problem of separating actual meditation practices from those that are not, but commonly masquerade as "meditation"-- there are quite a few, and Stephan explains the differences, and why the distinction is important.

Though I practice in a specific tradition, I find that the diverse traditions illustrated are refreshing and enriching.

Lest this become a "plug"(if it isn't already, lol), I have included Stephan's description of the layout and organization of the book.

I have found that there are so many worthwhile and fun practices and experiments included, that periodically I find myself re-reading, and gaining new experiences and understandings-- this book has certainly enriched and expanded my practice, and continues to do so.

Below, I have included the Table Of Contents for your inspection.

Thank you, @Mindf'Elle'ness , for reminding us that the exploration of our minds is not drudgery, or monotonous work, or, if it is, we're doing it wrong.

Meditation is both fun, and a way to connect our rich inner life with the obligations of our outer life. By carrying our practice into our outer life, and encorporating mindfulness and skillfulness in the carrying out of our responsibilities we find that obligations become easier to accomplish, and we can reassign their respective importance to our lives, and even long term obligations can become new and exciting practices in which we can more fully immerse ourselves, and engage in our lives more fully and rewardingly.

I hope those that check the book out find it as enjoyable and as helpful as I have.
(@SDRSpark , the last plate is for you.)
Enjoy.

May you all be well.

sidd

(Spoiler to follow)

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

No, it is NOT drudgery - wonderful subject to bring up.

I find that I don't mind whether any thought IS in the background OR the foreground, it's their ballet.

 

[sidd851]

Spoiler: Meditation For Dummies

 

[sidd851]

Spoiler: Meditation For Dummies II

 

[Mindf'Elle'ness]

This is soooo awesome!
When we progress to where we have the control and ability that you describe, we can begin to play with our awareness, and, it is part and parcel of exploring the topography of our minds! There are many exercises, within the greater practice of M.M., that are both fun, and ultimately, exploratory in nature.
Playing with gravity is one of my personal favorites. "Eating an orange, for the first time", is another. The nuance and power and plasticity of our minds is amazing!

I'd like to offer up a recommendation.
Meditation For Dummies, by Stephan Bodian, contains a veritable treasure trove of hints, helps, tips and tricks to to bring us closer to our practice.
Of particular interest, it would seem, to our current discussion about stumbling blocks, is the "Troubleshooting" section of the book, which the author has thoughtfully compounded for us to address common difficulties experienced, namely, all of the difficulties that have been brought up here.

I practice in the Theravadan Buddhist tradition, but Stephan has done a wonderful job drawing from all meditation traditions in a wonderfully nonpartisan way.
He also dedicates time to the problem of separating actual meditation practices from those that are not, but commonly masquerade as "meditation"-- there are quite a few, and Stephan explains the differences, and why the distinction is important.

Though I practice in a specific tradition, I find that the diverse traditions illustrated are refreshing and enriching.

Lest this become a "plug"(if it isn't already, lol), I have included Stephan's description of the layout and organization of the book.

I have found that there are so many worthwhile and fun practices and experiments included, that periodically I find myself re-reading, and gaining new experiences and understandings-- this book has certainly enriched and expanded my practice, and continues to do so.

Below, I have included the Table Of Contents for your inspection.

Thank you, @Mindf'Elle'ness , for reminding us that the exploration of our minds is not drudgery, or monotonous work, or, if it is, we're doing it wrong.

Meditation is both fun, and a way to connect our rich inner life with the obligations of our outer life. By carrying our practice into our outer life, and encorporating mindfulness and skillfulness in the carrying out of our responsibilities we find that obligations become easier to accomplish, and we can reassign their respective importance to our lives, and even long term obligations can become new and exciting practices in which we can more fully immerse ourselves, and engage in our lives more fully and rewardingly.

I hope those that check the book out find it as enjoyable and as helpful as I have.
(@SDRSpark , the last plate is for you.)
Enjoy.

May you all be well.

sidd

(Spoiler to follow)

That's so awesome! Thank you. I am going to put this book on my wish list.

 

[Mindf'Elle'ness]

May I offer a suggestion that further study could be done on the website Lonerwolf. Specifically the blog about non-attachment. Every society could use knowledge of this subject. I have found this blog by doing a search in Google, so you don't need to necessarily look up the website, become a member or anything. However the site has such a wealth of other soul-soothing information that it is well worth it to become a member and read, read, read. I've incorporated my curiosity about non-attachment into my daily meditation.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Steve is so right, there are times when we need a period - perhaps an indefinite period - of practising out a thing that both contrasts and integrates the inner & outer. Some people have a prayer "time" and brain gym "time of day". As my schedule has been slow for a few years, I probably need to get more regular to balance everyone else getting this abrupt shock. I was off to a good start from family and some earlier teachers not wanting to divorce my inner and my outer. I've always had huge problems with timing and have to translate actions I can't copy. Now's my cue to approximate to that, after all.