Talking/communicating through pets?

[mourningdove]

I've always had trouble speaking to my immediate family directly at home. But we had two cats growing up, one of whom I was particularly close to (and who recently passed away, unfortunately).

1.) Communication got easier if I could hold my cat, Moon, and look at him instead of my mother or whoever I was talking to. If I had to do something particularly uncomfortable like singing "Happy Birthday" to one of my parents, having a cat-buddy held close made it a little more tolerable.

2.) Asking for things was easier if I could say Moon wanted them, instead of me. My mother used to ask me if I wanted her to make me eggs for breakfast when I was younger, and sometimes I'd really want some scrambled eggs! But I'd have to sit there and struggle with myself to even tell her "yes". So, I soon figured out, um "Moon wants scrambled eggs!". And "he" got them.

Anyone else does/did something similar? I guess I am thinking of this because I am really missing my boy. We lost him in early December last year.

 

[Raggamuffin]

Eye contact with conversation gradually got easier for me. But it took a lot of practice. Although when my mood isn't great then I revert back to talking to people whilst not looking at them.

Ed

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Something to think about: Be careful with putting yourself in a subordinate position like that. It's one thing to do it with people whom have earned your trust. It's quite another to put yourself in that position with people you don't know or trust. The risk being that people can and will take advantage of you.

Now, you can hide away from people, avoidance behaviors, like talking through a pet, puppet, or stuffed animal, and such. Or, you can be consciously aware of your situation, do some masking, stiffen up your backbone a bit, and act, very politely, calmly, and firmly, as if you are the one who is the "alpha". Courage is being afraid, and doing it anyways.

Take care.

 

[mourningdove]

Something to think about: Be careful with putting yourself in a subordinate position like that. It's one thing to do it with people whom have earned your trust. It's quite another to put yourself in that position with people you don't know or trust. The risk being that people can and will take advantage of you.

Now, you can hide away from people, avoidance behaviors, like talking through a pet, puppet, or stuffed animal, and such. Or, you can be consciously aware of your situation, do some masking, stiffen up your backbone a bit, and act, very politely, calmly, and firmly, as if you are the one who is the "alpha". Courage is being afraid, and doing it anyways.

Take care.

This is an interesting way to see things. Thank you for your advice/perspective!

I don't know why I particularly struggle with my family (well, I suspect there always have been unhealthy dynamics there that make it hard to comfortably/safely communicate & make me feel alienated), but I think you'll be pleased to know that dealing with ordinary people for 24 years has made me form a pretty strong mask. I don't particularly strive for "dominance", but I have seen in action that being openly "weird" (i.e. my regular self who is not really "weird", just perceived that way by neurotypicals) or someone who struggles with speaking gets you treated worse. And yes, absolutely, taken advantage of sometimes. It's sad. So, I definitely see your point there.