Sympathy

[moonchild22]

People on the autism spectrum, don't you wish that you were more likeable? Because I believe that people on the spectrum are not very liked by others who don't know them well. It's probably because they don't understand them. They don't understand why they're quiet most of the time, they think that autistic people are mean on purpose, they don't understand why they prefer their own company most of the time etc. Personally, I wish I was more likeable because I know that deep down I am a loving, caring, sensitive, sensible person. And others usually see quite the opposite. I've come to accept it more or less and I try not to care what others think of me, but sometimes I REALLY wish that people could see my true self.

 

[Keigan]

Just keep trying to put yourself out there, and usually it does not hurt to start comments off with:
- I might be a little off here....
- This might not be for you...
- Most People....
- The good news is...
- Don’t worry, ...
- I bet you are a bit like me ....
- When would be good time to ...

 

[Suzanne]

It would be nice to be accepted by all, I have to admit, even though that is quite impossible - or is it? I mean, people are always parroting "well you can't expect to be liked by everyone, so just be happy to be liked by some" and YET, I see very often the opposite applies and those who just do not bother thinking deeply about friendships and the such, are liked by all; well, not me and so therefore, probably not by ones who share my charactistics lol

I have often thought: why does that person not take the time to get to know me? Why just after chatting a bit, they are only polite? I always ask people how they are and listen and remember. I am careful who I talk no stop too and only a couple of times I have been told that I go on, which is flipping unfair, since they do not look away and seem interested.

I was told recently that I look desparate and grateful when someone talks to me. How I hate that this person said it, but it is unsaid now and thus, makes me even more self conscious and this person thought they were being funny! And worse even added: sometimes when I am in conversation with you, I wonder when you will stop talking, so I can go and speak to someone else. I felt that he took complete advantage of my having aspergers and even saying that his brother has aspergers and cringworthly and very steriotypically, described how he talks to his brother! And by the way: I am so worried about over talking that it is me who says I will let him go and talk to someone else and he is the one who says: no, it is fine, please keep talking and actually, he likes his own voice!

All this makes me even more social phobic than I am already are, because what one says, is not what one means!

 

[dragoncat16]

I wish it were possible for others to like me, or even just treat me like a human being with valid feelings. The only interactions I have with others in real life are neutral or negative, nothing positive, not even with family members. Even when I am not interacting with people who know me, I know they are talking about me behind my back about how bad my social skills are (no, I'm not being paranoid; I have proof that this is what has happened). It makes me want to crawl into a hole.

 

[Bolletje]

I am quite likeable. People need a little time to get used to me sometimes, but they usually like me just fine. There's no instant "omg let's be friends forever!" moment, but I am usually met with polite responses at least. To quote Brick from Anchorman: People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late.

Mind you, this is me in my early thirties among people aged 25 and up. Don't get me started on teenagers and adolescents, or the way I was when I was a teenager. I have grown as a person, I have learned to interact with people and I have come to understand what is expected of my in social interactions. I'm far from perfect, I'm just fairly well-adjusted for an Aspie, through a long process of trial, error and imitation.

 

[Katleya]

I am quite likeable too (well, at least among people who like things & people around them to be a little unconventional). I am definitely an acquired taste, which is not something I see as a bad thing, because it implies the people around me have an actual interest in being around me, they're not doing it just because they want to look like they're good people.

Do I feel that I am as liked as I deserve to be? No, I can't say that. I'd be lying if I said I didn't meet, still, the occasional NT who is determined to break me because I don't fit in their narrow little view of what people should think, speak and be like, or the one who loses it because they can't manipulate me the way they do with other people, but I'd also be lying if I said I wanted to be liked by such nasty people. Now, I would however like to not be hated by those same people, but that's another story

 

[StephF]

I am happy as I am, I don't want to be more likeable. People can take me as I am or not at all.

 

[Ambi]

Perhaps this is a strange response, because I'm going to post a song that reminds me of this pruning process I felt I had to undergo in order to not be strongly disliked (sometimes I was successful, other times note) - that process felt very painful and unfair. But I think it is also allowing for a growth process that is very exciting, too. All of this with regards to getting along socially with others. Anyway, here is the song:

 

[onlything]

True, though... Honestly, I'm tired of trying to make people like me. If they don't want to understand me on their own, their loss. I'm done.

 

[pax]

Kinda sums it up. I'll put in the effort up to a point. If people are mean, backstabbing, or show by their actions they are not interested in me; I no longer put in the effort.