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Since finding out you are an aspie, does this effect your stimming?

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I find that I am very conscious of stimming now and sometimes get confused to if I am doing it subconsciously or deliberately?

I find that I am so aware of it now, that I do try to stop myself, because I fear that I am saying: well I am an aspie and so, this is an excuse to stim.
 
Oddly enough, I was thinking about this just recently. Not pacing around my sofa, but when for whatever reason I stop in front of my flatscreen, and begin to sway back and forth.

At one point I found it momentarily weird, because I just wasn't sure if I was doing it subconsciously or deliberately. I mean, how can one not be sure about that? o_O

LOL...it was like one of those moments where I couldn't decide which came first. The chicken, or the egg? :p
 
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I stim more because I have always stopped myself and now I feel like, "I'm not defective, this is a soothing thing that I should be able to do." But not in public obviously. My boyfriend can just deal.

I've discovered I had more stims than I ever thought. Like I never used to spin or flap my hands, but my boyfriend was chastising me for leaving laundry in the rain and I was trying to explain that I really didn't know what to do, and then he helped bring it in and was trying to find a way to put it up in a small room with a dehumidifier, and it wasn't fitting, and he was talking about putting the laundry rack on the bed which would get dirt on the bed, so we would need to put something over the feet of the laundry rack, and at that point I just got overwhelmed and started spinning like "There are too many steps! I can't do it!" ...sigh. But we put it in the living room and it was fine.

I also spin or hand flap when I'm on the phone and getting anxious (I already used to pace whenever I was on the phone).
 
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I find that I often put my hand to my face and my husband is always telling me off and saying: and you wonder why you get spots, but I cannot help doing it; it is literally like, well it is there and then, I become aware of it.

Bouncing my leg or legs is a huge comfort to me, but I also tend to do it, when agitated.

Perhaps you are aware that we are in the middle of renovating? Well, when my husband says: goodness sake woman, can't you see that things need cleaning up and I can honestly say that I don't, until he brings it to my notice and yes, I have had to say: I am sorry but I honestly don't know what to do and yep also stim when feel completely overwhelmed.

My husband never tells me to stop bouncing my legs up and down and that could be because he doesn't notice is, but because I can imagine how annoying it is, I do try to halt it.
 
Yes, for my hands. In retrospect it is obvious I never managed to shut down my "weird antics" altogether, they just got less noticeable. When I sit I'll sometimes rock back and forth, but without anyone noticing. I'll drum my fingers on my palm instead of on tables and walls, which would have been much more satisfying. (There's no rhythm in people's chatter.) My body does these things of its own accord, the main difference is now I don't ignore it as much as I can.
 
I stim sometimes. Usually it's swaying back and forth when I'm standing still, rocking slightly, bouncing my leg, pacing, and then there's a twitching thing I do with my fingers.

Before I found out I was "on the spectrum," I didn't really pay attention to the fact that I did these things. However, now I catch myself doing them and will suddenly stop or start thinking about it, or if someone was watching. Sometimes if I'm frustrated, I will deliberately allow myself to stim (when I'm alone) and that helps. It also depends on who I'm around whether or not I restrain myself.

I guess it just depends on what you think of others' perceptions of you when you stim. Probably, they won't even notice if it's something mild. Though if you're waving around your hands and spinning in circles, that might be a little more embarrassing.
 
I just recently have become more aware of swaying from side to side...I have always done it, but before you actually suggested to me about whether I may also have aspergers, I never paid it much attention...Although saying that, when I attend meetings and we are singing, I naturally sway and few have pointed this out to me, and now it makes me even more conscious of it but I think I do it more when I am conscious of it? If that makes sense...I feel myself doing it now and wonder if its just me being me, or if its kind of happened because i'm thinking about it and thus my brain is making my body move lol...I don't know...But, yes - to your question, I also ask myself that often ie am I deliberately doing it, or is it a subconscious thing?
 
I just recently have become more aware of swaying from side to side...I have always done it, but before you actually suggested to me about whether I may also have aspergers, I never paid it much attention...Although saying that, when I attend meetings and we are singing, I naturally sway and few have pointed this out to me, and now it makes me even more conscious of it but I think I do it more when I am conscious of it? If that makes sense...I feel myself doing it now and wonder if its just me being me, or if its kind of happened because i'm thinking about it and thus my brain is making my body move lol...I don't know...But, yes - to your question, I also ask myself that often ie am I deliberately doing it, or is it a subconscious thing?

Sounds a tad familiar. ;)
 
I will say this much. I do most if not all of my stimming in private.

Would I feel self-conscious about it if people noticed? Probably. But alone in my home it really doesn't bother me whether I catch myself doing it or not.

But then as for my OCD rituals, that's a very different story for me personally. Unlike stimming, my OCD issues have origins based on past traumas. Those I don't like what I do or why I do them. Bad memories...
 
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I rub and twitch my fingers, I can't talk on the phone without pacing rapidly..as a teenager I almost broke my neck several times when I'd hit the end of the phone cord hahaha.I tend to hum atonally when I get really stressed. Also I sway side to side. I always thought the swaying was because I'm a mom, I mean, I swayed to soothe my babies, so it must have become a habit, right? Although my boyfriend and I were buying ammunition, I was carrying the boxes while we stood in line. They were pretty heavy. He looked over at me and grinned and said "Are the bullets upset?" That's when I realized I had been swaying and rocking them gently at my hip. I said "Well, they seem calmer." :D
 
I don't consciously start stimming, it's involuntary and just happens, then I catch myself in the middle of it and become aware of it. If I'm working I make a conscious effort to stop it when it starts because I don't want to disturb my students, in other circumstances, as long as I'm not disturbing anyone, I make no effort to stop it.

One thing I have noticed is that I can learn a stim through suggestion. I read about one on a forum and try it, then in a short time it becomes a habit. I've resdiscovered ones I had as a child, too.
 
I twist and pull on hair, and I twist my fingers. Now I'm very self-conscious about both since learning the ten-dollar word for hair-pulling, but no one's ever said anything to me about either. Whispering to the monitor? Now that bugs people, but a fabric-enclosed cubicle keeps others from hearing me. Compulsive note-taking only bothers people who don't want what they said remembered :smilingimp:...
 
I twist and pull on hair, and I twist my fingers. Now I'm very self-conscious about both since learning the ten-dollar word for hair-pulling, but no one's ever said anything to me about either. Whispering to the monitor? Now that bugs people, but a fabric-enclosed cubicle keeps others from hearing me. Compulsive note-taking only bothers people who don't want what they said remembered :smilingimp:...

I have this constant urge to remove hair and really have to stop myself from doing it
 
I find that I am very conscious of stimming now and sometimes get confused to if I am doing it subconsciously or deliberately?

I find that I am so aware of it now, that I do try to stop myself, because I fear that I am saying: well I am an aspie and so, this is an excuse to stim.

I've wondered this as well - has figuring out i'm an aspie made me stim more, or has it simply made me aware of my own stimming? Also, has my awareness of being aspie made me stim more than i did before i became aware of it? I wonder it all the time, especially at my part time job cause is stim so much there. Nothing that i would think screams 'aspie' but it probably does look odd. Mostly fiddling with things; obsessively twirling pens or random hangers i find laying around as i'm going to put them up. I think constantly wanting to be standing *against* something rather than out in the open probably counts as a slight stim too.
 
Now that I'm aware of it, it feels like I do it more. Like now. Reading about stimming has caused my leg to start bouncing. Discussing stimming with Aspies is like discussing yawning with most people. That stuff is contagious! Crap, now I'm yawning too. I'm staying out of this thread!
 
After finding out, I did it more. Before, I kinda beat myself up about it- stop being so weird, what is wrong with you, people look at you strange stop it. After, having a name to put to it and an actual reason that I felt like I needed to made me feel better about doing what I needed to do, and I just see it as one thing that I do as a result of Aspergers.
 
I am more aware of it now, though it still happens unconsciously too. Sometimes if alone I might do it a bit more then previously. Kind of indulging it a bit. If it happens in public I will stop if I think anyone might notice and perhaps make a joke about it with my wife.
 
Now that I am aware of what stimming is, I tend to be more aware of when I do it. Since finding out that it is normal for me, I make no effort to really hide it.
 

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