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Share good puns and jokes.

Doctor: You’ve lost a lot of blood.

Me: That can’t be good, right?

Doctor: No. You’re the worst blood bank manager we’ve ever seen.
 
In the unfortunate time when I pass on, I want my remains to be spread all over Disney World. I also do not want to be cremated.
 
A highway patrolman was sitting on the side of the road when a car sped past him down the middle of the road! Giving chase, he pulled over the errant speedster one mile later.
"Do you realize that you were doing 75mph in a 45mph zone?"
"Yes, sir."
"Where are you coming from this evening?"
"From the DMV. I just got my license!"
"Why were you driving so fast?"
"I was just following the instructions on their form."
"How so?"
"It said, 'Tear along the dotted line...' "
full
 
It's Greek to Me...​
Did you know that college rowing teams have a fraternity...?
Yes, it's called PPP.
full
(I know @Progster will get this, at least. ;))
 
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Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.
 
Heisenberg is driving down a country road. A cop comes up behind him and pulls him over. The cop asks Heisenberg to roll down his window. The cop asks, "do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "no, but I know where I am!"
 
Finder said:
Heisenberg is driving down a country road. A cop comes up behind him and pulls him over. The cop asks Heisenberg to roll down his window. The cop asks, "do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "no, but I know where I am!"
Click to expand...

The follow up I heard is that the cop says, “You were doing 85!” and Heisenberg replies, “Great! Now I’m lost!”
 
I went to the bookstore and asked the clerk for a book about Pavlov's Dog and Schrodinger's Cat. The clerk said it rang a bell, but she was not sure if it was there or not.
 
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