Hello everyone. I'm really glad to be a part of this site. I'm new here. Well, I'm a 23 year old guy and I wanted to know how you guys handle the pressure of expectation that family and the people whom you know put on you. As a child disappointing them was not so bad because children are easily forgiven but as an adult the pressure to succeed career wise is high. How do you deal with that? Thanks in advance!
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Pressure of expectation
- Thread starter John D
- Start date
While I can't really state that I'm the most successful of the bunch and don't really care a lot for expectations, perhaps here's something to consider.
Perhaps it's good to tell them off and that you're leading your own life. You have to deal with your own talents, but also your own defecits. I've always felt that people can't and shouldn't put expectations on someone. It's shortsighted to assume that everyone has a same amount of talent to achieve something that isn't exactly what you desire, but merely what others want you to achieve. Live your own life, don't aspire to become and live the idea that others put on you.
Perhaps it's good to tell them off and that you're leading your own life. You have to deal with your own talents, but also your own defecits. I've always felt that people can't and shouldn't put expectations on someone. It's shortsighted to assume that everyone has a same amount of talent to achieve something that isn't exactly what you desire, but merely what others want you to achieve. Live your own life, don't aspire to become and live the idea that others put on you.
anthoskate
Well-Known Member
Well as a child I always had a lot of pressure to do well in school and all that I remember is that I was in my own world and I didn't understand why it was necessary to study. My mum used to say stuff like "I'm only alive to see you do well" and I used to take it very literally.
The pressure was too much and it didn't help me study, it just made it impossible for me to concentrate, also I remember that I was depressed back then and had suicidal thoughts.
I have been very happy since I found out that I have an ASD a year ago (I was 24 when I found out) and my mum has put less and less pressure on me since I was 16.
AsheSkyler
Feathered Jester
Facts. I cling desperately to facts, statistics, and general logic.
Recent example, this spring I finished my first year as a tax preparer. My grandmother is my boss and not only do I have the pressure to learn all the rules for individuals and self-employed people, she's wanting me to learn corporations. Not eventually. Now. She's been doing this 20 years and never learned corporate taxes, but she's putting a ton of pressure on me to do it now and is showing frustrating that I'm reluctant. I stick to the facts. It was my first year, I have an overwhelmingly large amount of knowledge I'm already scrambling to learn, corporate rules are much more complicated, and she herself hasn't had much initiative to make a regular part of her work load. It is ridiculous to expect me to be a master tax preparer in my first year. (Or first ten years for that matter.) She goes on a lot about how incredibly intelligent she thinks I am and I guess she thinks I've got a supercomputer for a brain. I honestly don't know which is worse, being overestimated or underestimated.
Recent example, this spring I finished my first year as a tax preparer. My grandmother is my boss and not only do I have the pressure to learn all the rules for individuals and self-employed people, she's wanting me to learn corporations. Not eventually. Now. She's been doing this 20 years and never learned corporate taxes, but she's putting a ton of pressure on me to do it now and is showing frustrating that I'm reluctant. I stick to the facts. It was my first year, I have an overwhelmingly large amount of knowledge I'm already scrambling to learn, corporate rules are much more complicated, and she herself hasn't had much initiative to make a regular part of her work load. It is ridiculous to expect me to be a master tax preparer in my first year. (Or first ten years for that matter.) She goes on a lot about how incredibly intelligent she thinks I am and I guess she thinks I've got a supercomputer for a brain. I honestly don't know which is worse, being overestimated or underestimated.
Kari Suttle
Well-Known Member
I don't >_< Its really hard to deal with for me. I never feel like i measure up to what's expected of me, be it at home or work. If you ever figure out how to deal with it i'd love to know.
Cali Cat
Femme Ferale
I don't deal well with expectations from others. I barely deal with my own expectations of myself. The harder I'm pushed, the farther I retreat into indifference as to the outcome. In fact, a certain amount of apathy is actually a healthier attitude for me to take towards accomplishment. At least the odds are more in my favor if I don't care one way or another if something gets done, or whether I'm a "success" at whatever the subject is. I just have to be careful that I'm not at the point to where I "think" I don't care, but really I still do. That's when I self-sabotage.
Etzelaire
Well-Known Member
I am the only one that sets the pressure on me. I want to achieve huge things practically starting from scratch because my parents cut off economic support when I was 18. Since then I am raising my head day by day and forging my path to success. If I happen to achieve my goal someday, I'll get a tattoo commemorating my strenght and I'll enable myself to celebrate my birthday.
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