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Post something Weird or Random
- Thread starter IContainMultitudes
- Start date
The laundromat where I typically wash the clothes my dad and I wear at his shop has been undergoing renovation and changed how you pay to use the machines by making the entire place card based. What I don’t get is why we must use the card that we need to use the machines to pay to use the bathroom. I get that you’re trying to make sure it’s for customers but making us pay 25 cents just to use it in general is just too much. Why are you making us pay to use the restroom?
Maybe the manager grew up in Europe, where it is normal to help cover the expenses involved in maintaining a restroom.
Here small businesses like that prefer to stick to cash, it leaves them a little more wriggle room for creative accounting come tax time.
I think it’s a chain. The card used for the machine has a very specific design on it and the machine where you get one and refill it with money required you to give them a phone number and email in order to get the card and then had an agreement you had to agree to and it was as if some larger company owned the place. There were also tvs that kept displaying info that sounded like stuff a corporation would say to customers.
I came up with a more accurate version of the Forest Gump goes to Heaven joke and how it should have really ended.
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St Peter himself.
St Peter says, "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short and you have to pass before you can get into heaven. If you fail one, I’m afraid I’ll have to send you to Hell.”
The questions are:
1. What days in the week begin with the letter T?
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest says, "Well the first one- how many days in the week begin with the letter T? That is a easy one. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
St Peter opened his eyes wide and said, "Forrest that's not what I was thinking... but I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one," He asked, "How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that is harder!" says Forrest, "but I think and thunk and I guess the only answer could be twelve."
Astounded, St Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
"There's gotta be twelve," he said, "January 2nd, February 2nd, March the second."
"Hold it," interrupts St Peter, "I see where you are going with this, and I'm afraid you’ve just failed. I’m going to have to send you to Hell now.”
“But why?” asked Forest. “I gave you the correct answer!”
“No, you did not,” said Sr. Peter, “and I’m going to tell you why. There aren’t twelve seconds in a year. There are twenty-four seconds in a year. You forgot about the 22nd of every month.”
“But I got the answer half right!” pleaded Forest. “Can’t you please let me into Heaven for getting the test half right?”
“I’m afraid not,” said St. Peter, “because getting half of an answer correct is not getting all of it. You failed the second test. I cannot let you in.”
“But can’t you make an exception for me?”
“No, I cannot because if I break the rules for you, Forest, then everyone who comes here will want me to break the rules for them too and we can’t have that now, can we?”
“I suppose not,” Forest replied.
“Good. Then it’s settled. You’re going to Hell for failing the test. Bye, Forest. It was a pleasure meeting you!”
And with that Forest was cast from the Pearly Gates and then woke up in a large soft bed in a room full of expensive furniture and decor.
“This is Hell?” Forest asked. “Well this doesn’t seem so bad.”
Forest then noticed his body was different and that he was an attractive woman.
“Let’s see,” thought Forest, “I’m rich, I live in a large mansion, and I’m now an attractive woman. How exactly is this Hell?”
Then came a knock on the door and a maid walks in carrying some freshly laundered towels and a luxurious bathrobe. She then turned and face Forest and said with a smile, “Good morning, Ms Melania. How are we feeling today?”
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St Peter himself.
St Peter says, "Well Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short and you have to pass before you can get into heaven. If you fail one, I’m afraid I’ll have to send you to Hell.”
The questions are:
1. What days in the week begin with the letter T?
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
3. What is God's first name?
Forrest says, "Well the first one- how many days in the week begin with the letter T? That is a easy one. That'd be Today and Tomorrow."
St Peter opened his eyes wide and said, "Forrest that's not what I was thinking... but I will give you credit for that answer. How about the next one," He asked, "How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that is harder!" says Forrest, "but I think and thunk and I guess the only answer could be twelve."
Astounded, St Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
"There's gotta be twelve," he said, "January 2nd, February 2nd, March the second."
"Hold it," interrupts St Peter, "I see where you are going with this, and I'm afraid you’ve just failed. I’m going to have to send you to Hell now.”
“But why?” asked Forest. “I gave you the correct answer!”
“No, you did not,” said Sr. Peter, “and I’m going to tell you why. There aren’t twelve seconds in a year. There are twenty-four seconds in a year. You forgot about the 22nd of every month.”
“But I got the answer half right!” pleaded Forest. “Can’t you please let me into Heaven for getting the test half right?”
“I’m afraid not,” said St. Peter, “because getting half of an answer correct is not getting all of it. You failed the second test. I cannot let you in.”
“But can’t you make an exception for me?”
“No, I cannot because if I break the rules for you, Forest, then everyone who comes here will want me to break the rules for them too and we can’t have that now, can we?”
“I suppose not,” Forest replied.
“Good. Then it’s settled. You’re going to Hell for failing the test. Bye, Forest. It was a pleasure meeting you!”
And with that Forest was cast from the Pearly Gates and then woke up in a large soft bed in a room full of expensive furniture and decor.
“This is Hell?” Forest asked. “Well this doesn’t seem so bad.”
Forest then noticed his body was different and that he was an attractive woman.
“Let’s see,” thought Forest, “I’m rich, I live in a large mansion, and I’m now an attractive woman. How exactly is this Hell?”
Then came a knock on the door and a maid walks in carrying some freshly laundered towels and a luxurious bathrobe. She then turned and face Forest and said with a smile, “Good morning, Ms Melania. How are we feeling today?”
I don't get that last one.
Forest’s Hell is being Melania Trump. Basically he’s now Married to someone who is the complete opposite of him.
I don't get the last one...
Mine? I’m confused.I don't get the last one...
Yes.
