[Personal Question] Postgraduate Student: Should AS Be a Secret?

[yuurei]

I am a reasonably successful student with roughly a 3.3-3.45 GPA in a number of honours organizations as well as other high profile student groups, professional associations, with numerous internships, and scholarships. I am preparing this next year to begin applying to graduate schools after my thesis presentation late 2013. My biggest concern at the moment is that my grades appear very sporadic; many A's and B's with more than a few F's, C's, and D's sprinkled all over. I am coming to realize, with the help of a psychologist, that a great deal of the problems I have had largely come down to symptoms of relatively recently diagnosed AS. I have discussed this matter with my councilor and my psychologist, but both hesitate to give me a real answer. I fear they may be afraid of at once giving sound advice and possibly making me feel ashamed at the same time. So, I thought I may ask among this community to see if anyone has experience or just an opinion on the matter:

In my written statement for graduate school, would it be helpful or detrimental to describe my AS as a reason behind the sporadic grades and as a notable part of my character? I only worry that, though my advisors regularly say it is illegal to discriminate, it would be very easy for a council to dismiss my application based on these combining factors. I know it's best to accept who we are, but in cases such as this would it ultimately hurt me to bring it into the open?

Please let me know what you think. I've got about a year yet but, as an academic, it weighs heavily on my mind all the time. I'm terrified I won't get in anywhere, let alone the caliber of schools associated with my career choice.

 

[King_Oni]

A question to you then; Can you prove that your good grades can be attributed to your AS exclusively?

I highly doubt that to be honest.

If I look at my own high schools (and I attended, for different diploma's). The first was pretty much what I'd think is normal for teens. Go there every day, mix in with 25-somewhat people and have a teacher in front of the class. I did... average, and maybe even a bit below average. Then, a few years later I went for a higher level high school diploma. The school was rather laid back with being in school provided you got your grades. At that school I excelled. Why? Because I just came in for the exams. I was in school for what.. 8 hours or so a month? That might be something I can attribute to AS. I cannot deal with stress and crowds the way school usually has it going.

Similarly, having counseling around might help you get your grades, find coping methods and maybe even give school a heads up even. It's somewhere close to the idea of "special needs education" but not quite that.

Should you tell them about your AS? If you think that you cannot function without having all kinds of support set up, then yes. If you have to pay thousands to get to some school and after a few months you drop out because you couldn't deal with the way it is being run (crowds etc.) you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. If your AS isn't that bad and you can manage it yourself, I don't think it needs to be an issue. It might be an issue if you really think you are "weird" and don't want to end up getting in trouble over your weirdness, since cultural norm states else (example; if I were an aspie that prefers not to wear any clothes... then yes, I can see how school might have problems with that).

 

[yuurei]

Thank you for your response. I understand what you mean about proof. My best idea would be that the written statement is more of a letter, rather than documentation for any differences in performance.

It's not necessarily that I am asking for accommodations from the university. With the assistance I have been getting with methods, council, and other recommendations, my grades have gotten a lot steadier. My biggest concern is that my past performance is too erratic for acceptance into postgraduate programs. I have been informed reliably by many professors that the written statement is the place to put any explanation for irregularities in your application (as well as a very important part of establishing your personality/identity to the admissions council). However, as I said, my psychologist was very vague about whether AS, though a valid reasoning behind a great deal of my trouble, can be seen as a negative point to a candidate and ultimately hurt my chances more than it would explain my grades pre-diagnosis.

[edit] Also, I'm not sure how the Netherlands describes it (Your profile says this is where you're from?), but graduate school in the States is school beyond the four year university diploma. You were talking about High School in your response, so I thought I'd make sure we were discussing the same thing.

 

[King_Oni]

Thank you for your response. I understand what you mean about proof. My best idea would be that the written statement is more of a letter, rather than documentation for any differences in performance.

As for proof I'd say "do you have any scientific evidence to prove that AS will enhance study capabilities?" If you have that, I'm quite sure a lot of neurologists would like to have a word with you

[edit] Also, I'm not sure how the Netherlands describes it (Your profile says this is where you're from?), but graduate school in the States is school beyond the four year university diploma. You were talking about High School in your response, so I thought I'd make sure we were discussing the same thing.

I was adressing schools in general. Being in high school, college and university I found no difference there in my experience, hence I figured that taking my high school example (which is the best experience to illustrate it with) would be fine. But I do understand what graduate school is though, we have something similar here in The Netherlands.

 

[yuurei]

No proof. Haha. That's not what this is about. But yeah.

Thanks again! Didn't mean to sound patronizing if that's the way it came across. I have a few friends in the UK who were often thrown by "graduate school" being used to describe post-graduate education; apparently we say the same thing differently, and I wasn't sure the way it's said there.

 

[smith2267]

In my opinion...and I was a veterinary medical student...
1. you will need to avail yourself of disability services, so
a)it will come out anyway
2. Graduate and professional programs like to tout their inclusiveness, so it might actually be an advantage
3. It speaks well of your character and professional detachment if you can discuss your own diagnosis objectively

PS, I am American, so take that into account. My country is fairly tolerant of the disabled.

 

[yuurei]

That was a well-organized and thoughtful argument, thank you. I wondered about whether or not it would be an inclusiveness issue. My psychologist has told me the stigma will ease up with the increase in understanding of the spectrum since there is an increasing rate of successful diagnosis in the past years. This problem is still giving me quite a bit of back and forth, but your opinions are really helping solidify thoughts. Thanks again.

 

[ShatteredUniverse]

I'm gonna have to come down on the side of disclosure, yuurei. I don't see how it would hurt you, and it might help a great deal especially if you've only recently been diagnosed. Make sure you end your undergrad career on a high note, so you can say "see there, I'm perfectly capable of excelling in the work, I just needed a little help." To be honest, I'm in very much the same boat, except in my situation I got all of my failures out of the way the first time I tried to go to college.

Keep pecking away at it until you've found what works for you. Showing perseverance in the face of this adversity will work highly in your favor. Coupled with the other achievements you mentioned, you should pretty much sail through. You might not get into your top choice, but who does?

Regards,
ShatteredUniverse

 

[yuurei]

At the risk of sounding pompous, those achievements and many others are what I've been riding on since my grades never quite reflect my full ability. I am doing my absolute best and am working with trying to find an acceptable schedule with the university and my job to finish out my degree this coming year. I'm confident things will go much better, I just hope I can make the impression I need to. It will be a tough ride putting things in order while finalizing research for a thesis. :/

Thanks again for all of your sound advice. I will certainly keep these thoughts in mind when making my final decision in the near future.

 

[arclite]

would it be helpful or detrimental to describe my AS as a reason behind the sporadic grades

Yuurei, your diagnosis has nothing to do with who you are, it is a system from which laws demanding equality provide specific support mechanisms where corresponding difficulties are part of a diagnosed condition.

I have an amazing ability to remember where I have discovered a combination of feeling good about the things I remember and the usefulness of the information I remember. An author named Tony Buzan has some encouraging facts about brain and behaviour. There are more dynamic interconnections available between neurons than there are stars in the universe. In short our capacity to remember is unlimited and so we are capable of recording every perception from the moment we are born until the day we die. Some people experience Eidetic memory.

What we lack is the knowledge of how to access the information so recorded. Tony has progressed from being an average 16 year old student to the top scoring scholar at one of the leading UK universities. He has published a wide range of books on "The Mind", "The Memory" and methods of augmenting memory and creative thinking with "Mind Mapping". It's really worth looking at the subjects that appeal to you personally. I can only say that the experience of following a guided exercise in memory technique and recognising the outcome is rewarding and unforgettable. Perhaps 'the' students guide to studying techniques is something you can empathise with and move your long term goals with as well?

Never give up, your diagnosis has not changed you. It's not what I know that counts but my ability to recognise what I don't know and the pure ?joy? of finding out!

 

[Biblio-Love]

1. you will need to avail yourself of disability services, so it will come out anyway

Why does she have to avail herself of disability services? If her AS is manageable, few meltdowns and no depression, then why? What will they provide her with. After having various diagnosis and misdiagnosis myself, I personally think that the least amount of interference is best. We all develop ways to negotiate our world, and those are better than anything else someone on the outside can provide. My two-cents would be to keep it on the down-low unless absolutely necessary.

 

[Spinning Compass]

Here's a question: If you decide to "come out" and you get accepted, are you comfortable with the idea that you might have been accepted precisely because of your AS and they needed to fill some kind of "diversity quota" rather than your ability to do the work?

If the only issue is grades, there are a lot of Neurotypical students who flounder about with poor or erratic grades in college. Frankly, I am not sure you owe anyone an explanation. I agree with Biblio-Love, that it is probably best to keep quiet about this, especially with the recent negative publicity about AS.

 

[arclite]

I think you already have clarity of mind in that you believe in liberty and balance. Literal arguments can appear limited and bound to facts, but electricity, flying and equality are transcendent of fact and part of human intuition toward greater possibilities.

I wish you all the very best in your determination to succeed. I believe you will, because of who you are.

 

[Meistersinger]

That would only be a matter for you to decide. When I got my master's back in 1985, mental conditions weren't looked upon very kindly. Us older people on the spectrum didn't have the support systems in place to assist with our diagnosis.

 

[Spinning Compass]

I tend to agree with Meistersinger. It depends on what you intend to study. Some fields are more AS-friendly than others, for example, anything to do with computers and computer programming to the point that it's almost a requirement to be on the spectrum at least according to stereotype. Others, not so. I'd say that on the whole, if you can "pass for normal", I would say as little as possible. Don't volunteer information that you aren't asked and let them draw their own conclusions regarding your grades. Meistersinger is right, there is still a lot of stigma out there regarding these things.

In the end it comes down to the individual situation and there is no blanket answer. I too grew up in a time and place where support systems were nonexistent and I know what it is like to be perceived as not quite right.

 

[Meistersinger]

Aspergers is probably the reason I couldn't get a job teaching music in the public schools. I have a BA in Music History. When I tried to get my teacher's certification in music education, I made the mistake of going to the oldest school in what is now the Pennsylvania State System of Higher Education: Millersville University in Lancaster County. The head of the music department was my academic advisor. He wasn't convinced that I was teacher material, but gave me the chance to try my hand at music education, since my alma mater, Indiana University of PA, wouldn't give me a explanation why they would not allow me to get my certification there, after I earned my BA the hard way, since nothing ever came easily to me.

To make a long story short, I ended up flunking almost every education course in the department. My advisor, who taught instrumental methods, always handed back my lesson plans with nasty comments like 'who are you tryng to teach, Jean-Pierre Rampal?' or, 'so cold, so unfeeling, they're not robots.' The professor of secondary school music methods would always be wanting me to look her in the eye and answer her questions. While I was unaware of Aspergers back then, let alone the DSM, that damned book of lies that has ruined my life, as well as that of millions of other people, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why this was so.

At the end of the semester, I had a long talk with my academic advisor, where he told me I was being shown the door. Since in my family, the mantra was money isn't everything, it's the only thing, I perceived myself as a failure, and plainly told him, you mean to tell me I spent all this time and money for nothing?

Seeing my distress, he replies that was not what he was saying. As a matter of fact, I wish I could clone you and have 3 more of me on the faculty, since he never saw anyone work as hard as I did. He said, matter of factly, that I had him and most of the music faculty running scared.

He recommended that, given my background in music history, I apply to library school. Since he had helped place other failing music Ed students in that profession, with success, I decided to follow his advice.. He recommended I apply to the State University of New York at Geneseo, since they had a co-op program with the Silbey Library at the Eastman School of Music of the University of Rochester. I applied and sent in my application fee. I was accepted to start in the fall semester.

However, three weeks after I was accepted, I get a letter from the Regents of SUNY-Geneseo stating that they were closing down their program effective the end of the current term.

 

[Arashi222]

To be honest it really depends on how you put it. I talked about my visual impairment in my application to graduate school to become a social worker. I didn't know that I had AS at the time but I always suspected. But I think it really depends on spinning it to a good trait or good aspect of yourself. Like for me I am ultra organized that way they know you will do the homework or do what it takes to make it or however you want to put it. Finding the right school for yourself is also key. I found that in the school I was in for graduate school it was a nice environment and teachers often allowed accommodations without going through the disability services programs. But it was social work so they were fairly lenient in that respect.

Just go with your gut. We'll be here whatever you decide.