People on reddit and other forums can be so mean

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I just recently started using Reddit. I am up late, not feeling well. I found a little community on reddit called herbalism. That's my special interest. I shared my little folk knowledge that I have, with other herbalists, expecting them to collaborate and be friendly like they are here on the forums.

Most folks are super friendly and kind. But there are people on there, who aren't herbalists, who are on there just to start fights. Twice in ten minutes I had two people send me very harsh replies, not even wanting to hear my side. Just wanting to tell me how they believe I am so very wrong. It hurt me.

This has happened at another online forum site. When I was growing out my hair after chemotherapy, I joined a community called "long hair". I listed some natural things that I found helpful in growing my hair, and also soothing my tender scalp. People came down on me really harshly, saying I was wrong and how I was giving dangerous information, even though it wasn't (washing hair on a tender post-chemo scalp with water and diluted baking soda).

It reminds me of school, and also times in the public, where my voice was rejected. The way I talk is the Aspie way. I can't help it. I just want to share what I've found helpful, expecting the other person to do the same. It works that way usually with neurodiverse people. But a lot of Neurotypicals respond to me with cruelty. As if my infodumping and stimming was offensive, bossy, or mean. They think I'm retarded or some know it all. When really, I don't know much at all. I just like to share the things I've learned, with the happy hope that the other person will share with me.

I guess it wouldn't affect me so deeply, but I really have had a lot of health problems lately, that really, really scare me. I've been a burden on my daughter. I'm up late, trying to be friendly with like minded people, and I get yelled at, twice, just for using my voice and sharing info that makes my life easier.

Infodumping is such a part of the Aspie experience. It makes me feel all tingly when someone infodumps to me. I learn. I meditate on the info for days, sometimes years. I use it in my life.

It just hurts, the way neurotypicals think I'm being a know it all, or attacking them. I just want to be friendly. I am so very sensitive. It cuts to my heart when something like this happens.

 

[Eren]

Reddit is both the largest forum/community on the internet, and that has its positive and negative side, the positive is that there are a lot of people to interact with, the negative is that there are a lot of trolls, toxic people, etc... reddit is known for being one of the worst places on the internet precisely for this.

Additionally, admins/mods tend to be childish and unfair, I was banned from reddit for something that didn't even break the rules (an account with several years of activity) and when I made a post with another account explaining the problem, someone responded with "just cry."

It's not all bad, I've met nice people on reddit, and they've also helped me with some technical problems. My point is that it's not a very healthy place to be, especially if you're not at your best.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

That sounds very tough. The internet gives us a great resource to reach people, but it feels like few want to communicate.

 

[Misery]

I can tell you right now, "I just started using Reddit" could well be the opening line of a lot of internet horror stories.

The problem with Reddit is really its size. The bigger a site is, the more of a shiny prize it is to trolls and such.

You could go on there with the best info written in the nicest way possible with all of it being absolutely accurate, and STILL get attacked by a bunch of venomous snakes. Because they arent there to do anything OTHER than troll/bully people. As @Eren says, Reddit is rather infamous for this.

If you want to have a better experience, honestly you're going to have to go elsewhere, and unfortunately that means you're going to have to do some real digging, since it's gotten much harder to find ACTUAL forums ever since Reddit slithered its way onto the scene.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I think this is a very nice home for me. I can interact with all of you, and our communication styles are mostly the same. I enjoy the infodumps and collaboration. You're all really nice people.

 

[jsilver256]

Yes, Reddit is highly confusing and seems geared towards drama queens.

When I first learned about the possibility of autism, I tried to learn about it by browsing Reddit. Now, I realize that autism comes in many varieties, but the autism sites on Reddit seem to cater to a very specific of autistic - young adults and struggling with motivational issues, enabling each other's lack of desire for growth.

Then I gave Reddit a try again when I got my son's diagnosis. I don't know what I expected. But parents getting weepy because their 4 year old was a little awkward on a playground or complaining their 3 year old wanting to eat Cheerios with every meal (not for, just with - their kid still ate fruit and meat) did give a new perspective on why ASD diagnoses are exploding.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The only social media I use is here.

 

[Misty Avich]

I heard some horror stories about Reddit too. I know people say that trolls are trolls because they're unhappy and want to make others unhappy by hiding behind a screen and all that but that still doesn't make me handle it with any less sensitivity.
I also get that it's easier to be tactless and speak your mind more online, because I'm the same, but I've never wrote anything nasty directly to anyone personally because I just wouldn't have the heart to, behind a screen or not. Okay I might fly up in a rage online if I'm triggered or provoked or bullied but I wouldn't just be nasty out of the blue to someone.

Some people online can literally be suffering with their mental health, physical health or other stressful problems in their lives and may feel isolated so come on to the internet for support or social interaction, and one nasty comment could literally set them over the edge. I wish these trolls would think of that possibility before they throw nasty comments at a person's post that didn't deserve any nasty feedback.

I'm prone to attracting bullies online, maybe because I wear my heart on my sleeves and they seem to prey on that. One person on another site said she liked provoking me because seeing my 'histrionic reaction' made her laugh. She would also swear at me when I was just innocently and civilly replying to other people's posts. And she once told me that my offline friends make fun of me - even though she's never met my offline friends before, and I trust my offline friends a lot more than I trust her. She was a nasty piece of work and even driven me to tears, and that was the first time a comment online has ever made me cry.

So I don't think I'm fit for Reddit. Having an anxiety disorder and RSD can make one extremely sensitive, we can't help it. I do sympathise with other sensitive people who can't handle trolling or personal attacks. I know how it feels. I'm not a tough person at all, I can't take bullying very well.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

What I hate about Reddit the most is the use of profanity. Now I understand some Subreddits allowing it but common allowing on subs like flying, religious, spiritual, mental, autism and yoga posts is out of control which I thought for sure that my APF extension would not have to go into overdrive filtering. Also, the ramped porn allowed on there is bad for someone like me who is trying to stop viewing that stuff.

Besides, Quora is bad too as it suppose to be a site to answer questions but the profanity on there is as bad as Reddit. To make matters worse, most search engine quires from Google, bing and DuckDuckGo pull in support from Reddit and Quora.

 

[Lemon Zing]

People on other forums seem to imply I hate women if I talk about being scammed or mistreated by women on adult sites. Apart from that, hundreds of gaming forums are just full of nerds and weirdos that seem to support any trash a company releases.

An example of this is calling the RE2 remake a "masterpiece" and forgetting it was not a true remake. It has tons of cut content and a totally different story. Yet when RE3 did it too, they never once spoke of RE2 for the most part. Only a select few people did.

It's like they have tunnel vision.

 

[stevens]

I am struggling with Reddit, because there are subreddits on there for several of my interests that have some very useful content. On the other hand, Reddit just did an initial public offering (IPO), so they are soon to join Facebook et al. in the Social Media Sewer Hall of Fame. For autistic people, most social media is not a good experience. It certainly isn't for me. I have to be cautious where I go. It's easy to get banned because one uses the "wrong" terminology or engage in too much autistic "literalism."

 

[MNAus]

Some parts of Reddit I really enjoy. The inane subs with jokes and stuff can be quite good fun. Likewise the sports subs for local sports are usually positive. But a massive chunk of it is full of self-important people who like to let you know just how little your opinion is worth, or plain old trolls. Don't let them get you down @Yeshuasdaughter, if they don't want learn, that's their loss.

 

[Cryptid]

I started my Reddit account about two months ago, and then lurked just to get an idea of the Standards and Protocols as used by the members (not just as posted by the mods).

One of my first posts was so well received that it garnered 2,000+ upvotes with about 6 hours. Not bad, I think.

At that point, I started getting new replies from people who accused me of making it all up, not knowing what I was talking about, and criticizing the one spelling error in the entire post. Even after I had corrected the spelling error, they still criticized me for it. They also criticized me for correcting it.

They used tone policing, defamatory claims, gaslighting, and outright lies against me, too.

Why are they so mean? I don't know, but the moderators of AutismForums would never let them get away with any of those shenanigans. I like it here.

I'll keep my Reddit account open, but I don't know If I'll be posting there again anytime soon.

 

[Aneka]

I just recently started using Reddit. I am up late, not feeling well. I found a little community on reddit called herbalism. That's my special interest. I shared my little folk knowledge that I have, with other herbalists, expecting them to collaborate and be friendly like they are here on the forums.

Most folks are super friendly and kind. But there are people on there, who aren't herbalists, who are on there just to start fights. Twice in ten minutes I had two people send me very harsh replies, not even wanting to hear my side. Just wanting to tell me how they believe I am so very wrong. It hurt me.

This has happened at another online forum site. When I was growing out my hair after chemotherapy, I joined a community called "long hair". I listed some natural things that I found helpful in growing my hair, and also soothing my tender scalp. People came down on me really harshly, saying I was wrong and how I was giving dangerous information, even though it wasn't (washing hair on a tender post-chemo scalp with water and diluted baking soda).

It reminds me of school, and also times in the public, where my voice was rejected. The way I talk is the Aspie way. I can't help it. I just want to share what I've found helpful, expecting the other person to do the same. It works that way usually with neurodiverse people. But a lot of Neurotypicals respond to me with cruelty. As if my infodumping and stimming was offensive, bossy, or mean. They think I'm retarded or some know it all. When really, I don't know much at all. I just like to share the things I've learned, with the happy hope that the other person will share with me.

I guess it wouldn't affect me so deeply, but I really have had a lot of health problems lately, that really, really scare me. I've been a burden on my daughter. I'm up late, trying to be friendly with like minded people, and I get yelled at, twice, just for using my voice and sharing info that makes my life easier.

Infodumping is such a part of the Aspie experience. It makes me feel all tingly when someone infodumps to me. I learn. I meditate on the info for days, sometimes years. I use it in my life.

It just hurts, the way neurotypicals think I'm being a know it all, or attacking them. I just want to be friendly. I am so very sensitive. It cuts to my heart when something like this happens.

Reddit is the wormhole to insanity.

 

[Misery]

I started my Reddit account about two months ago, and then lurked just to get an idea of the Standards and Protocols as used by the members (not just as posted by the mods).

One of my first posts was so well received that it garnered 2,000+ upvotes with about 6 hours. Not bad, I think.

At that point, I started getting new replies from people who accused me of making it all up, not knowing what I was talking about, and criticizing the one spelling error in the entire post. Even after I had corrected the spelling error, they still criticized me for it. They also criticized me for correcting it.

They used tone policing, defamatory claims, gaslighting, and outright lies against me, too.

Why are they so mean? I don't know, but the moderators of AutismForums would never let them get away with any of those shenanigans. I like it here.

I'll keep my Reddit account open, but I don't know If I'll be posting there again anytime soon.

Well at least your first post went better than mine.

I dont remember where it was, but some subreddit about something, I made a post, typically sorta long-winded as I do, nothing abnormal for me. Just like how I talk on here.

Whole place just detonated as a result and then some new rule or other was introduced to it, citing that mess as the reason. I didnt take part in the screaming, I didnt comment or respond to anything, I just sorta watched, horrified but unable to look away as everyone started attacking each other.

Not the first time I've blown something up by talking, but usually it isnt on the very first post. I never made any posts past that. Just nope'd right out.

I dont even remember why I went there in the first place. I assume it made sense at the time. But I definitely aint cut out for it, that's for sure.

 

[Lemon Zing]

I have used Reddit before, but I prefer forums that use the XenForo or vBulletin software.

Yes. Forums are often full of disgruntled soft touches out to rile you up. On TotallyRE in 2003, they had a flame forum to allow members to just post abuse at each other.

There's heated debates online and then there's outright being a jerk. And I find GameFAQs to be full of fanboys or girls, and posting there is pointless. Lots of users go off topic because of some need to act like the big cheese.

They start an argument over an opinion. Then they start giving you guff. Or you see the thread begins to descend away from what it was meant to be covering to begin with.

 

[Nyxem]

Additionally, admins/mods tend to be childish and unfair, I was banned from reddit for something that didn't even break the rules (an account with several years of activity) and when I made a post with another account explaining the problem, someone responded with "just cry."

It's especially annoying when they ban you for some vague reason without offering any explanation. It's happened to me before.

Can't stand the Reddit hivemind either. Communities on Reddit frequently impose the idea that you have to be part of the "in-group" and be up-to-date with all the newest lingo, trends, and whatever else, otherwise you are somehow deserving of ostracisation and ridicule - typically in the form of mass downvotes and a barrage of snarky comments intended to mock and shun. I can't even count on my fingers how many times this has happened to me. I don't "get" a lot of the in-jokes and humour, or I may have an opinion that deviates from the established norm of whatever community/subreddit I am posting in, so I've often been subjected to ridicule for that.

If you can find a friendly, welcoming, positive subreddit, that's great and it's best to cherish that. But otherwise Reddit is, overall, a pretty harsh and unfriendly platform. At least in my experience anyway.

 

[Seladon]

Glad to see we're all in agreement about the place. A nest of vipers, as someone once said about the Datalounge (another very harsh forum).

Only rarely do l log in, and it's usually to read not post. Several months ago I made a post on a sports sub that I felt was a fairly innocuous, interesting hypothetical, and I got dogpiled and banned within an hour by posters (mostly men I gather) who took a colossal disproportionate level of offense. Thin skin isn't the half of it. The response was almost delusional, everyone cursing me out for something I didn't even say or mean the way they claimed. Now I understand how witchhunts happened irl.

 

[Lemon Zing]

Just watch what you say online. I've been dealing with a moron spamming on other forums, and saying crap about me. He's not in the UK, fortunately, although he is aware of where I hang out online. But these sort of idiots can be awfully convinced you're owe them something. So I rant more when he is riled up. If it bothers him and he desires to waste his life tagging me instead of just doing other things or finding a job, then tough.

The guy is jealous of my acting career.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I like the herb info I can get on reddit, so I'm going to use it a little more. Plus there is a fun subreddit called "find the sniper", or something like that. People post photos and you have to find the animal hiding in its habitat. Sort of like Where's Waldo.

But I'm a little trembly about it, on the inside. My heart gets hurt very easily. I just want to share and be friendly.