Seems the majority of us on the spectrum is honest to a fault. I see it in a lot of threads and I've definitely seen it in my own life. You know, I always thought and told people that you can say anything to anyone if you use the right tone. I'm starting to think maybe I was wrong. lol
For one thing I'm not as clear as I think I'm being - I've learned that being on here. When I think I have made a point and the majority responds in a way that I realize I have not made my point - which I actually appreciate honesty and being made aware (most NT's just kind of ignore you and go on but never question anything like we do). I really do like that - that we question things and are honest because how will you otherwise know the truth and I'd much rather base anything on truth than pretense.
But my question is why doesn't anyone believe it when I make a statement? When my kids were teenagers I would tell them, ie: If you go somewhere without asking first I will take away your internet privileges for a week. My son goes somewhere without asking. I change the password and he's furious because he didn't think I would. Or, as I said in a response to another thread, I tell my husband that I'm getting close to that point that I will be done and once I get there there's no hope. Nothing changes and I get to that point and he's shocked. I warn people what will happen (just because I know me) and it means nothing to them.
I had a boss ask me a question and I answered truthfully then went to lunch. When I got back from lunch everyone was asking what I had said to her because she was crying after.
No, I don't give fake compliments. If you ask me I'll tell you the truth - even if it's something about myself that I'd rather people not know.
I like what @Autistamatic said in one of his Empathy videos about sometimes what seems like lack of empathy is lack of knowledge on our part - we can not say, "Oh, yes, your boyfriend is a terrible cheat" if we do not know that to be a fact, because we don't feel we're being honest.
Some things I'm used to people not believing - there are some things about my past that I wouldn't believe if someone tried to tell me that happened to them. Or they don't believe the degree of difficulty doing certain things and being in certain situations.
But in general, I like us because we can be honest and we can question things and we make up a world of real reality. (nothing fake here)
For one thing I'm not as clear as I think I'm being - I've learned that being on here. When I think I have made a point and the majority responds in a way that I realize I have not made my point - which I actually appreciate honesty and being made aware (most NT's just kind of ignore you and go on but never question anything like we do). I really do like that - that we question things and are honest because how will you otherwise know the truth and I'd much rather base anything on truth than pretense.
But my question is why doesn't anyone believe it when I make a statement? When my kids were teenagers I would tell them, ie: If you go somewhere without asking first I will take away your internet privileges for a week. My son goes somewhere without asking. I change the password and he's furious because he didn't think I would. Or, as I said in a response to another thread, I tell my husband that I'm getting close to that point that I will be done and once I get there there's no hope. Nothing changes and I get to that point and he's shocked. I warn people what will happen (just because I know me) and it means nothing to them.
I had a boss ask me a question and I answered truthfully then went to lunch. When I got back from lunch everyone was asking what I had said to her because she was crying after.
No, I don't give fake compliments. If you ask me I'll tell you the truth - even if it's something about myself that I'd rather people not know.
I like what @Autistamatic said in one of his Empathy videos about sometimes what seems like lack of empathy is lack of knowledge on our part - we can not say, "Oh, yes, your boyfriend is a terrible cheat" if we do not know that to be a fact, because we don't feel we're being honest.
Some things I'm used to people not believing - there are some things about my past that I wouldn't believe if someone tried to tell me that happened to them. Or they don't believe the degree of difficulty doing certain things and being in certain situations.
But in general, I like us because we can be honest and we can question things and we make up a world of real reality. (nothing fake here)