• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Overthinking about big issues

Bellacat

Bellacat

Active Member
I know that I can't control the way other people behave. In general, I should respect that other people have the freedom to do what they want. I'm fine with letting them behave stupidly if they're only hurting themselves, but when it comes to things like environmental issues it's not just about them anymore. They have a greater impact than they realize, and they simply don't care. It makes me feel like I need to care even more and be even more aware to make up for their ignorance.

People are so trapped in the ways of thinking that created all these problems. As one example, I've told my family again and again that I would prefer to celebrate holidays without gifts but they refuse to stop even that. They still see material gifts as an expression of love. All I can see is the destruction of nature that went into manufacturing of whatever object they're presenting me with. Especially when it's something that's "just for fun" or luxury and doesn't meet any actual needs. I can't look at any item without identifying the raw materials and what kind of ecosystems were harmed or destroyed to extract them, what kind of pollution came from the manufacturing, shipping, packaging, etc. If we go out for a nice meal, I not only see the wasteful, destructive practices involved in all stages of food production down to degrading the soil with tillage, but I also think about the trees that were cut down to build the restaurant and the furniture, the chemical stains and preservatives the wood was treated with, turning a natural material into something toxic. It goes on and on. When I'm with others I have to do my best to keep it all to myself, otherwise I'm "negative" "ungrateful" or "ruining it for everyone".

I've always felt like I'm sitting in a room by myself and everyone else is in another room. This kind of thinking makes that isolation so much worse and is pushing me into depression.

I don't know how to cope with this. Is it a matter of managing expectations? Is there anything I can do differently to cope? When I try to change my expectation all I come up with is: "Give up, accept that nature is doomed and most other people are just fine with that", which is not particularly helpful.

I don't know if anyone has any answers for this, but I wanted to put it out there.. maybe someone has a different perspective that I haven't thought of yet, or maybe someone else is struggling with the same thing and now you know you're not the only one.
 
You really believe that? Nature isnt doomed. Its hardier then what people give it credit for. I fully agree with humans helping nature. By preserving wildlife, cleaning up pollution, and helping animals to survive. In fact just recently an extinct animal was just found alive.
 
Bellacat said:
I know that I can't control the way other people behave. In general, I should respect that other people have the freedom to do what they want. I'm fine with letting them behave stupidly if they're only hurting themselves, but when it comes to things like environmental issues it's not just about them anymore. They have a greater impact than they realize, and they simply don't care. It makes me feel like I need to care even more and be even more aware to make up for their ignorance.

People are so trapped in the ways of thinking that created all these problems. As one example, I've told my family again and again that I would prefer to celebrate holidays without gifts but they refuse to stop even that. They still see material gifts as an expression of love. All I can see is the destruction of nature that went into manufacturing of whatever object they're presenting me with. Especially when it's something that's "just for fun" or luxury and doesn't meet any actual needs. I can't look at any item without identifying the raw materials and what kind of ecosystems were harmed or destroyed to extract them, what kind of pollution came from the manufacturing, shipping, packaging, etc. If we go out for a nice meal, I not only see the wasteful, destructive practices involved in all stages of food production down to degrading the soil with tillage, but I also think about the trees that were cut down to build the restaurant and the furniture, the chemical stains and preservatives the wood was treated with, turning a natural material into something toxic. It goes on and on. When I'm with others I have to do my best to keep it all to myself, otherwise I'm "negative" "ungrateful" or "ruining it for everyone".

I've always felt like I'm sitting in a room by myself and everyone else is in another room. This kind of thinking makes that isolation so much worse and is pushing me into depression.

I don't know how to cope with this. Is it a matter of managing expectations? Is there anything I can do differently to cope? When I try to change my expectation all I come up with is: "Give up, accept that nature is doomed and most other people are just fine with that", which is not particularly helpful.

I don't know if anyone has any answers for this, but I wanted to put it out there.. maybe someone has a different perspective that I haven't thought of yet, or maybe someone else is struggling with the same thing and now you know you're not the only one.
Click to expand...
You are partly right but being partly right means the part where you are not exactly right all you can do is change yourself you can't change somebody else they have got to want to do it like stopping smoking or drinking or overeating which are very common examples, if you want to tell people you do it in a completely non aggressive way! with with no hint of aggression! To help you that's how the fundamentalists start to have a problem! and you can be fundamentalist in anything. I have got like you at one point but it is obvious my body cannot do what my mind tries to do.
 
Saying "nature is doomed" is probably not completely correct. Some fragments here and there will hang on, at least for a while. Technically rocks are nature. Even if the entire biosphere as we know it today were obliterated some extremophiles would likely survive and gradually repopulate the planet. What I'm upset about is the current biosphere that produced and supports our species and everything we know and love. It's like a big Jenga tower, and people are pulling bricks all over the place, not realizing that other people are also pulling bricks.. all these bricks lean on each other for support and if we keep pulling them at some point it will fall.

I can't just shrug off the reports about biodiversity loss and increasing extinction rates, the insect decline, degradation of soil, plastic oceans, atmospheric pollution, and on and on. Humans have replaced more than half the wildlife on earth with livestock. Many people are still under the impression that humanity is not significant enough to affect the biosphere at large, or they still believe that nature is here solely for us to exploit, or that we're in some kind of endless battle against it. Or even worse, that "nature" is just national parks and camping and generally doesn't have anything to do with them at all. That "the environment" is for "environmentalists" to care about, and it's not really their thing. When you look at pictures of the planet, the impact that humans have is vast and undeniable.

The problem is systemic and it is so, so much bigger than picking up trash or switching to paper straws. We are messing with forces we don't even know exist. That's why I'm struggling. The problem is so deeply built into our way of life that even if all humanity agreed to try and fix it, I'm not sure we could anymore. People say we can't feed the world with organic agriculture because it would require too much land. This should be a major, major red flag that we've overstepped our limits but all people can talk about is how to keep the economy growing and growing...
 
Bellacat said:
Saying "nature is doomed" is probably not completely correct. Some fragments here and there will hang on, at least for a while. Technically rocks are nature. Even if the entire biosphere as we know it today were obliterated some extremophiles would likely survive and gradually repopulate the planet. What I'm upset about is the current biosphere that produced and supports our species and everything we know and love. It's like a big Jenga tower, and people are pulling bricks all over the place, not realizing that other people are also pulling bricks.. all these bricks lean on each other for support and if we keep pulling them at some point it will fall.

I can't just shrug off the reports about biodiversity loss and increasing extinction rates, the insect decline, degradation of soil, plastic oceans, atmospheric pollution, and on and on. Humans have replaced more than half the wildlife on earth with livestock. Many people are still under the impression that humanity is not significant enough to affect the biosphere at large, or they still believe that nature is here solely for us to exploit, or that we're in some kind of endless battle against it. Or even worse, that "nature" is just national parks and camping and generally doesn't have anything to do with them at all. That "the environment" is for "environmentalists" to care about, and it's not really their thing. When you look at pictures of the planet, the impact that humans have is vast and undeniable.

The problem is systemic and it is so, so much bigger than picking up trash or switching to paper straws. We are messing with forces we don't even know exist. That's why I'm struggling. The problem is so deeply built into our way of life that even if all humanity agreed to try and fix it, I'm not sure we could anymore. People say we can't feed the world with organic agriculture because it would require too much land. This should be a major, major red flag that we've overstepped our limits but all people can talk about is how to keep the economy growing and growing...
Click to expand...
I am quoting from the Bible because it is about climate change it says in the book of the prophet Ezekiel ,I cannot tell you where it is ,I have been looking for the last 25 years ,someone told me this quote, so I have never seen it" in the last days a sign will be desertification"
, in my simple thinking that is climate change.
 
Bellacat said:
The problem is systemic and it is so, so much bigger than picking up trash or switching to paper straws. We are messing with forces we don't even know exist. That's why I'm struggling. The problem is so deeply built into our way of life that even if all humanity agreed to try and fix it, I'm not sure we could anymore. People say we can't feed the world with organic agriculture because it would require too much land. This should be a major, major red flag that we've overstepped our limits but all people can talk about is how to keep the economy growing and growing...
Click to expand...

I've run this same scenario in my head, quite similar to yours since I was a small child, Bellacat. I try to have the least impact on the planet that I can possibly can. Even if others do not consider the finite impact we have on our world, I do. I think it's all I can do as one person. Certainly I could begin protesting and making people aware, of the cost of everything that we do daily. Yet I choose to live my life in a way that seems right as it relates to the planet. I grow my own organic vegetables, rarely buy anything new, bring my own containers to a bulk store, shop for groceries twice a month. Reuse most things, remake household things, repair rather than replace. And I think you'll find that some are more aware than others, and do similar things.

My bio family finds me funny, odd, because I do those things and have always done so. It's so much easier not to. Yet, it's important to me, it's the way I live.
 
Also monetary gifts to causes maybe your family cares about? Animal rescue places, homeless family gift cards? Maybe try to get them involved in serving meals, even one day of family volunteering then going out for a meal since your other approach isn't working.

I had to stop volunteering, the guy at office wanted me to come back, but l was more comfortable working for my female boss and when she transfered , l quit.
 
You are, indeed, overthinking big issues. The problem with this is it's going to cause stress for you and friction with others.

I think you need to recognize you are taking things too far and try to compromise with yourself.

I've been a little bit of an environmentalist since the first Earth Day, but I try to do it "within reason." I have a gas-efficient car and try to maintain an energy-efficient home - but not to the point of overspending my budget. I do recycle, but at times I'm too exhausted to wash a can and it goes into regular trash. I am planning to go on a cruise, which I realize is just burning fuel to sail around in a circle at sea, but the fact is I really need that vacation for my own mental health, and certain family members heavily rely on me, so that matters.

It comes down to the question, would you rather be happy or right? The way you describe yourself, you'd rather be right. I'm suggesting you loosen up a bit. Just a bit.
 
You just need to get in with the right crowd. I always wanted to be in on some extraterrestrial venture like a mars colony, but I'm too old for that now.

hero-marscolony_940x529.jpg



So thats why I decided, to head underground and join the ants.

Small-Ants.jpg


;)
 
More to the point I can only discern two tracks (there may be others, I just haven't thought of them). Either you can go into one of the sciences and try to get people to listen to you, or go into environmental activism - same purpose. In the sciences there is the added possibility of being able to work on potential solutions.
 
Tom said:
I am a sci-fi fan, but stumped at the moment. I will try and see if I can think of it.
Click to expand...
it’s definitely the 1970s I’m sure it must be a BBC production I don’t remember a lot of Doctor Who with those geometric structures in A quarry in Wales broadcast,It could be Blakes seven I’m just not sure
 
Streetwise said:
it’s definitely the 1970s I’m sure it must be a BBC production I don’t remember a lot of Doctor Who with those geometric structures in A quarry in Wales broadcast,It could be Blakes seven I’m just not sure
Click to expand...

I have heard of Blakes 7, but not seen it yet. I had been considering Space 1999, also from that period because of the pod styling.

022-space-1999-theredlist.jpg
 
@Bellacat, you are worrying about things you can't control, such as buildings that already exist that were built by other people likely before there was a lot of information about how destructive certain practices are. The food in the supermarket and in the restaurant (as well as the supermarket and restaurant themselves) will still be there whether you eat/patronize it or not. Focus on what you CAN control, like never wasting food (in the US something like a third of all food is wasted), increasing the energy efficiency of your home if you can, buying used durable goods items instead of new ones, you might try growing/raising/hunting/gathering some of your food supply if you can or become a vegan. You can try to get your family to give you gifts such as specialty food items instead of durable knickknacks that have no purpose, or things you know you will use regularly. There is plenty you can do without having to worry so much.
 
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.

I want to clarify, I do understand on an intellectual level that I can't control other people and all I can really do is to make the best effort I can in my own life, and I do everything I can already. I grow a lot of my own food and have even gone as far as getting my garden certified organic just to make a point and support the concept, I minimize plastic wherever I can and avoid buying new things. I avoid industrial meat, almost never use fossil fuels (our homestead is mostly electric and we generate some of that ourselves). I also work in science, and my job includes educating farmers about how their activities impact the soil.

My point here is that I'm already doing my best and it doesn't make me feel better. If anything, it adds to the aggravation because I have direct personal experience that making a lot of positive changes was extremely easy once I became aware of the issues, because the issues are more important than anything else, but when other people are informed of the issues they just carry on as they did before. Therefore, at least as far as I can tell, they don't care.

Let's put it in different terms..

How would you feel about watching someone beat a dog? What about a child? Would you be able to shrug it off and say "It's their life, they can choose how to live it. I can't control other people.", or would you feel compelled to rush in and stop this from happening? How would you feel if the person doing this was someone you care about, like a family member or a close friend?

Really think about it, because that's actually what's happening. The only difference is that people aren't usually causing the harm directly or even realizing that it's being done, and it's far, far more than just dogs and children being harmed. The source of my frustration is that people should become very upset and want to stop contributing to this behaviour the minute they become aware of it, but they don't.

Knowing that I can't control other people only makes me feel hopeless and defeated. There is nothing I can do to stop the dog or child from being beaten. My only option is to choose not to beat dogs and children myself. That really doesn't feel like enough, does it?

Being told to not worry so much or lighten up makes me more frustrated because it further proves that other people don't care.

I want to apologize for being so negative here, but part of the reason I posted this was that I'm exhausted by trying to keep all this inside because it's too negative for other people to want to hear.

Again I really do appreciate everyone taking the time to read and respond, I know this isn't the most fun topic and I'm grateful for your comments.
 
Bellacat said:
I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.

I want to clarify, I do understand on an intellectual level that I can't control other people and all I can really do is to make the best effort I can in my own life, and I do everything I can already. I grow a lot of my own food and have even gone as far as getting my garden certified organic just to make a point and support the concept, I minimize plastic wherever I can and avoid buying new things. I avoid industrial meat, almost never use fossil fuels (our homestead is mostly electric and we generate some of that ourselves). I also work in science, and my job includes educating farmers about how their activities impact the soil.

My point here is that I'm already doing my best and it doesn't make me feel better. If anything, it adds to the aggravation because I have direct personal experience that making a lot of positive changes was extremely easy once I became aware of the issues, because the issues are more important than anything else, but when other people are informed of the issues they just carry on as they did before. Therefore, at least as far as I can tell, they don't care.

Let's put it in different terms..

How would you feel about watching someone beat a dog? What about a child? Would you be able to shrug it off and say "It's their life, they can choose how to live it. I can't control other people.", or would you feel compelled to rush in and stop this from happening? How would you feel if the person doing this was someone you care about, like a family member or a close friend?

Really think about it, because that's actually what's happening. The only difference is that people aren't usually causing the harm directly or even realizing that it's being done, and it's far, far more than just dogs and children being harmed. The source of my frustration is that people should become very upset and want to stop contributing to this behaviour the minute they become aware of it, but they don't.

Knowing that I can't control other people only makes me feel hopeless and defeated. There is nothing I can do to stop the dog or child from being beaten. My only option is to choose not to beat dogs and children myself. That really doesn't feel like enough, does it?

Being told to not worry so much or lighten up makes me more frustrated because it further proves that other people don't care.

I want to apologize for being so negative here, but part of the reason I posted this was that I'm exhausted by trying to keep all this inside because it's too negative for other people to want to hear.

Again I really do appreciate everyone taking the time to read and respond, I know this isn't the most fun topic and I'm grateful for your comments.
Click to expand...
but holding it in is not possible for ever this is from memory again actions speak louder than words ,again this is something I don’t understand !but !I’ve memorised ,people call me ‘the cat lady’,what they’ve got ,from my actions is cats !,but !!!they do not !!!react !!!to cats !!the way !!I !!do!People are firstly selfish and shortsighted ,they need to see the benefit in something,For instance leave a lot of pictures around of animals that have choked to death on plastic!!!!! from what I’ve learned that generally won’t like to see it but it makes an impact.
 
Your doing your best to be an example and educate others. These are good things. Reflect on the good things you've done.
 
I was just up walking in the forest, trying to do just that actually. Trying to focus on what is there and reflect on the positive and how fortunate I am to be able to protect at least a small amount of land. For a few moments I did feel quite peaceful, even happy.

It was less than an hour before a neighbour came up with his tractor and started cutting trees down on the property bordering ours. He's preparing to clear cut a large area of old forest. There is so little old forest left. He doesn't understand what he's doing, he's just cashing it in. A scots pine can live for 700 years, but most are cut when they're only 60. They're just children. Any day now the industrial machines will come to take it all away, leaving nothing but devastation and gaping wounds in the soil. Our own little piece of the forest will suffer losses in the coming years as it is not accustomed to facing the full force of wind coming through the valley. Yes, someone will probably come up in a year or two and plant new trees there. New trees from a nursery somewhere, all the same age, selected by humans for the purposes of future logging in about 60 years or so. The ecosystem itself will not have time to recover before it is cut again.

I find it difficult to focus on the positive right now, the chainsaw is a lot louder.
 
Bellacat said:
I was just up walking in the forest, trying to do just that actually. Trying to focus on what is there and reflect on the positive and how fortunate I am to be able to protect at least a small amount of land. For a few moments I did feel quite peaceful, even happy.

It was less than an hour before a neighbour came up with his tractor and started cutting trees down on the property bordering ours. He's preparing to clear cut a large area of old forest. There is so little old forest left. He doesn't understand what he's doing, he's just cashing it in. A scots pine can live for 700 years, but most are cut when they're only 60. They're just children. Any day now the industrial machines will come to take it all away, leaving nothing but devastation and gaping wounds in the soil. Our own little piece of the forest will suffer losses in the coming years as it is not accustomed to facing the full force of wind coming through the valley. Yes, someone will probably come up in a year or two and plant new trees there. New trees from a nursery somewhere, all the same age, selected by humans for the purposes of future logging in about 60 years or so. The ecosystem itself will not have time to recover before it is cut again.

I find it difficult to focus on the positive right now, the chainsaw is a lot louder.
Click to expand...
youve got to attain peace with the fact that humans destroy
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom