"Oh you're just faking it!"

[AustinFrom1995]

Have any of you other Auties ever been told that you were just "faking it" to get attention? Because recently someone told me that I wasn't really Autistic ("I'm too old"), and that I'm just "going through a phase and am just doing it for attention." This was, obviously, very hurtful, as I am actually autistic and have been diagnosed as such.

 

[Adora]

I haven't had someone say that to me but I did have my grandfather's wife who I haven't seen either in years replied to my aunt who told them I am on the spectrum with "she is making excuses" and mind you neither of them haven't even heard of Aspergers until my aunt told them about it,but I rather not let many people know about me unless it's on a need to know basis.

 

[AustinFrom1995]

I haven't had someone say that to me but I did have my grandfather's wife who I haven't seen either in years replied to my aunt who told them I am on the spectrum with "she is making excuses" and mind you neither of them haven't even heard of Aspergers until my aunt told them about it,but I rather not many people know about me unless it's on a need to know basis.

Sorry that happened to you. You seem like a good person and I totally understand your reluctance to let people know everything about you. I'm the exact same way.

 

[Momo]

Jeez, apparently I'm just always "faking it". Yes, because I'd flee from a concert due to the over stimuli and have a mini meltdown just for funzies? It's funny how people will just say you're making excuses even when you have a legitimate reason, frustrating. But hey, that's life. And life is mocking me I swear!

 

[Jet Weiss]

Apparently I'm "faking" all my conditions... according to family members. Sometimes they will say things to the effect of "Jet has social skills, he just chooses not to use them." They don't believe that I actually have an anxiety disorder and when I have done things like self-harmed or cried a lot they accused me of faking it for attention.

I don't often get accused of faking my Asperger's, because I think it is rather obvious that I have it. Though when I first told my boyfriend's Aspie friend that I had Asperger's he kept saying "Are you sure?" His Asperger's is very different from mine and he seems to think that the trademark of all Aspies is being a nerd like he is and having a strictly one-track mind like he does. Also, he thinks that all Aspies are geniuses who have trouble with hygiene. Like they say, "If you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie."

 

[AustinFrom1995]

Jeez, apparently I'm just always "faking it". Yes, because I'd flee from a concert due to the over stimuli and have a mini meltdown just for funzies? It's funny how people will just say you're making excuses even when you have a legitimate reason, frustrating. But hey, that's life. And life is mocking me I swear!

Oh ya, I love to freak out in public just for the lulz, or maybe I'm more in the mood for a mood-swing. Because I have Autism just for the heck of it.

Some people, I swear it, see us as nothing but babies. I feel ya Momo, I feel ya.

 

[wight]

yep, I've heard it, too.

 

[isthisreallife]

I haven't been outright told that I'm faking it, but people's faces can say a lot without saying anything. After a while of this kind of non response, the thought of being run over by a car doesn't sound too bad

 

[AustinFrom1995]

Too old? Talk about absurd. I think our "senior Aspie" here is in his 70's. It doesn't matter where one is on the spectrum, it's not something that goes away, that we catch and can be cured, or that we can turn on or off at will. We may learn how to control some of the manifestations, but it's always there. Whoever said that is a real:

Absurd is right! I hate it when people say that Autism is just a phase that we grow out of. It's not, once you are Autism, your never not Autism.

 

[Judge]

Unfortunately I believe it often boils down to three considerations when it comes to perceptions of autism:

1) Those who want to understand and succeed in doing so.

2) Those who try, but fail given the complexity of our neurology.

3) Those who are indifferent to understanding us, who default to expecting and demanding that it is we who must conform to their way of thinking. Even if and when it's not possible in whole or in part.

The point being that it's likely that most perceptions of autism are probably going to manifested relative to #3 rather that #1 or #2.

 

[mw2530]

People are ignorant so I wouldn't put much stock into what they say. Although, I know it sucks when someone invalidates you like that. You know much more about ASD than this person.

 

[Eclipse]

I've been told that quite a few times. It's one of the rudest, most annoying statements someone can say to you.

 

[Alaska]

Have any of you other Auties ever been told that you were just "faking it" to get attention? Because recently someone told me that I wasn't really Autistic ("I'm too old"), and that I'm just "going through a phase and am just doing it for attention." This was, obviously, very hurtful, as I am actually autistic and have been diagnosed as such.

Yep. I have been there, done that, got a pile if tee shirts. Fortunately, I love my relatives, or they would be in trouble. An ex-friend said that, along with more comments in the same spirit. Scratch one friend.

 

[StephF]

If anyone said anything so rude as that to me I would probably response with a creative stream of invective.
Most likely I would invite them to move forward with a sexual connotation

 

[WereBear]

Yes, this is why I am not in a position to disclose to just anyone. Ignorance and prejudice are especially rampant in the US right now...

There's a group of people who simply reorder Reality to suit them, regardless of the actual consequences of doing so. By "deciding" we are "faking it for attention" they don't have to do a thing except feel superior, which they live for.

When, in Reality, they are the ones constantly faking it

 

[Chance]

I don't remember being told I was faking it...
I did try so hard to fake being normal that it turned into severe panic attacks that were so bad I was referred to psychologist and then diagnosed with ASD and other stuff,

When I was younger I was told I was stubborn, and stupid. For a long time I thought my name was f.... g retard. They tried to beat it out of me. It didn't work.

It did make determined to never treat anyone like that... ever.
It did make me determine to become the best version of me that was possible. It made me determined to become as intelligent as humanly possible and become something they couldn't dream of becoming.

Today they still may hate me, but they have figured out I was far from stupid and yes in some ways I am unthinkably stubborn to not let ASD become what keeps me from living a full life.

Why would I want to fake something I would give up in a heart beat?

Some people are cruel... I sometimes think I was made this way for the simple reason that it would never allow me to become them... : )

 

[Suzanne]

Not those words, but thinking that I will use being an apsie as an excuse to get out of doing things and yet, I have never done so.

My husband bases his reasoning on a friend who did use his diagnosis to get away with being lazy, which is pretty unfair, since I am noting like that "friend" and have always tried to be better than I am. Just knowing I have aspergers, helps to understand things and yes, to not feel so ashamed.

 

[ZebraAutismo]

I have a few times. When I was younger mtv dad said i'd grow out of ir.

 

[Ylva]

Not often, but then I haven't told a lot of people. My sister probably told her friend years ago, so it would be more of a rumor, and so people both know and don't know at the same time.

My mother, though. When she gets upset with me she accuses me of having gotten "more autistic" on purpose since the diagnosis. "That is not what it was for!" she told me. I have cut all contact with my stepmother and most of the contact with my father, so they don't really have a chance to smugly inform me that they think I'm faking every little thing I do anymore.

 

[Judge]

Not often, but then I haven't told a lot of people. My sister probably told her friend years ago, so it would be more of a rumor, and so people both know and don't know at the same time.

My mother, though. When she gets upset with me she accuses me of having gotten "more autistic" on purpose since the diagnosis. "That is not what it was for!" she told me. I have cut all contact with my stepmother and most of the contact with my father, so they don't really have a chance to smugly inform me that they think I'm faking every little thing I do anymore.

Becoming self-aware has allowed me to be more selective about my masking. Which in my reality means that I'm simply less NT when I choose, and as for my autism, I've ALWAYS been that way technically speaking. Though I suppose NTs just won't or can't see it that way, defaulting to an expectation of us behaving like them.