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NT extremely confused with how her ASD ex-fiancé is treating her!

I sorta p/t lived with my ex about year. Then l said let's do this get married or split up because l was getting tired of living with him p/t and my apartment p/t. So then we waited another year to have a child. Then we hit the rocks hard. Crash and burn hard. Divorce was harsh and expensive also. I guess we mellowed with age.

So every situation is extremely unique and men kinds of decide what and when they want it. Sometimes you aren't sure what internal clock they are working off. Sounds like marriage was the plan but then maybe school took a priority and he bumped l need marriage to his back burner. School is now on his front burners, then getting a job will pop up. So he is career driven which means he can't split up the search for his girlfriend wife thing right now. And you can't really go there unless you wanted to be seen as clingy l guess.

I accidentally proposed to this man whom l called sweetie. But he has a perfect world and l don't fit into the perfect landscape. I feel more like a parking space that sometimes he parks his car in. Lol. Sad but realistic. My situation prevents me from staying in this state any longer. I am now probably returning to make a go of past situation. And l cried the entire day about it but l can't wait because my living situation is absolutely horrible and bad for my health. And l have to change it.
 
Was he professionally diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder? If so, what he recently diagnosed?
 
If I was doing that, I know I would just realize suddenly "ok, I engage myself after 3 months knowing him/her, I must escape instead of risking troubles". Then I would get fully anxious, end the relationship abruptly too - but might not know how to because I didn't think about it - and go back to my comfy routine on my own and feel relieved.
I might think I still like/love the person but am not ready for marriage and change my life and so on. Therefore, be okay to share time together, but not to engage myself in anything.
That being said, I'm not him (first, I wouldn't engage myself with anyone, so I wouldn't find myself in this position anyway), so he might have very different reasons than what I can think about. I don't believe he would want to engage himself if you meant nothing through. He might be super confused and anxious.
What I say is just a view on what's possible about the situation, but it can be very far from the reality.

I think you should see if the situation is satisfying for you or not as top priority.
 
By the way, if people learned him how to suppress his emotions because nobody wants to hear about them and they're not wanted by others, it might cause a lot of repercussions in your relationship. What they taught him is awful. He just shuts down and represses all the time and ends up in depression. If that's the case (it might not be), it's not a nice place.
 
I think he just became a deer in headlights and didn’t know how to call off the wedding without ending the relationship!

we see each other and communicate via text as he hates phone calls and just taking it day by day.... i’m preparing Myself for the fact that he might not change his mind but figured give it a few months of what we are doing joe and if he doesn’t change his ways then call it a day! I can’t be mad at him, I know he shows remorse and guilt about what his done!
 
Els said:
By the way, if people learned him how to suppress his emotions because nobody wants to hear about them and they're not wanted by others, it might cause a lot of repercussions in your relationship. What they taught him is awful. He just shuts down and represses all the time and ends up in depression. If that's the case (it might not be), it's not a nice place.
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He actually used CBT to teach him to suppress his emotions because people used to make him feel bad/sad etc and it would eat at him so CBT pretty much stripped him from feeling emotions pretty much up to an extent so it’s not fun but he likes it this way because he doesn’t get hurt by people! He doesn’t end up in detestation that’s the thing, he literally just hears what the person says about him and doesn’t feel anything towards it... it’s quite odd! But when it comes to his cats well his emotions sky rocket and his a biggg softie with them, he has emotions towards me i know he does and he expressed it but it’s hard for him to express it in the obvious ways/talk about emotions a lot so we keep it to a few questions and that’s what he can handle!
 
BiancaLags said:
He actually used CBT to teach him to suppress his emotions because people used to make him feel bad/sad etc and it would eat at him so CBT pretty much stripped him from feeling emotions pretty much up to an extent so it’s not fun but he likes it this way because he doesn’t get hurt by people! He doesn’t end up in detestation that’s the thing, he literally just hears what the person says about him and doesn’t feel anything towards it... it’s quite odd! But when it comes to his cats well his emotions sky rocket and his a biggg softie with them, he has emotions towards me i know he does and he expressed it but it’s hard for him to express it in the obvious ways/talk about emotions a lot so we keep it to a few questions and that’s what he can handle!
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Ah OK I understand what he's doing.
 
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