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No longer want to talk to a girl at work that I had a crush on...

I've never had a crush on anyone, but rejection hurts even when it's indirect, so I get where you're coming from. I have no idea what would be the best way to handle it, either. I would have done the same, really, except in my case it would be because I'm too weirded out by her taking time off in the middle of the workday to have sex with a guy.

Being genuine doesn't have to mean being an asshole, but it does mean having to express the negative stuff too. If you fake smiles for her you might make yourself miserable in the long run.
 
It's a good thing you didn't tell her that you like her. In this case it really worked out well. Seriously, don't get involved with women at work. In 999999 out of a million cases your work is more important than a woman.

You can't take back what you said, and when you still have to work with that woman it will seriously strain things between you. Even if you get rejected with grace, women tend to get real nasty and vindictive when a guy they don't deem good enough tries to get a date. As such, you want to stay away from co-workers and family of really good friends unless you got new and better work or friends lined up and don't mind burning this particular bridge.

It's not worth being friends with any co-workers. Don't be friends with her, or any of the guys at work. Be friendly, cool and chill. But nothing beyond "Friendly co-worker".
 
AloneNotLonely said:
It's a good thing you didn't tell her that you like her. In this case it really worked out well. Seriously, don't get involved with women at work. In 999999 out of a million cases your work is more important than a woman.

You can't take back what you said, and when you still have to work with that woman it will seriously strain things between you. Even if you get rejected with grace, women tend to get real nasty and vindictive when a guy they don't deem good enough tries to get a date. As such, you want to stay away from co-workers and family of really good friends unless you got new and better work or friends lined up and don't mind burning this particular bridge.

It's not worth being friends with any co-workers. Don't be friends with her, or any of the guys at work. Be friendly, cool and chill. But nothing beyond "Friendly co-worker".
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Unfortunately the very nature in American buisness culture stipulates that generally if you do not want to be considered an outcast and to have better working relationships it is a good idea to go out to lunch and/or dinners and happy hours with people from your group at minimum and many companies in America often host these happy hour get together events to bring people together, I don't really care for them myself but if there is at least one person I can hang with and talk too then it is ok for the most part but generally speaking I usually end up sitting there by myself because when all those people get together the noise is too unbearable and there is usually to much going on and it is overwhelming, and generally after work I just want to go home and relax and do whatever I want to do, not hang out with people I have been around all day for longer then I need too.
 
As an update to everyone regarding that girl, it seems she definitely noticed I was being less than friendly and bit curt with her yesterday as she hasn't spoken to me once since then I think I saw her look in my general direction a few times as she walked by or from her desk but didn't say hello or anything like she used too, but I expected that, part of me kind of wanted her to try to talk to me just to see if she was going to try to test the waters so to speak but she didn't oh well.
 
Hm, I guess it's the issue of do you like her as a person as well, or just as a potential girlfriend? If it's the former, don't throw away the friendship (maybe go over and apologise, say you were feeling down for the past however many days and you know you came across as curt), but if it's the latter, there's nothing in it for either of you, except to maintain polite business relations (which still involves saying good morning and things like that), because if you don't get on with a coworker, often it'll end in one of you leaving - and that's without a manager noticing and asking what's going on, because managers don't like poor relations between workers in my experience.
 
owlet said:
Hm, I guess it's the issue of do you like her as a person as well, or just as a potential girlfriend? If it's the former, don't throw away the friendship (maybe go over and apologise, say you were feeling down for the past however many days and you know you came across as curt), but if it's the latter, there's nothing in it for either of you, except to maintain polite business relations (which still involves saying good morning and things like that), because if you don't get on with a coworker, often it'll end in one of you leaving - and that's without a manager noticing and asking what's going on, because managers don't like poor relations between workers in my experience.
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To be honest at this point I could go either way (friend/ly vs strictly business) initially I liked her as a person just because she was nice to talk to and such, but because of how open she was and how attentive she was when we talked I thought maybe we had a connection so I started liking her plus she is really pretty so that didn't hurt lol, but right now at least I am just generally meh about it, it won't be an issue either way because I am not going to let it become one, I think the only real difference would be how often she comes around, who she goes to for assistance first, and whether or not we have non-work related conversations basically, I would be friendly and courteous and help her if she needed it either way but I would be less inclined to give her any special treatment or talk to her longer then I need too.
 
Everyone has already made excellent points, so I will just agree with the statement that she was likely not good for you in the long run and you dodged a bullet. 'Opposites attract' is a bit of a myth when you actually look at the studies, and it does sound as though she ended up with the guy that was a closer match. You need more than 'she was really pretty' and 'nice to talk to' for any long term relationship. She may have been interesting to date to begin with, but ten years down the line those differences would likely become annoying. Aside from the obvious attributes like culture, religion, or politics, big differences in personality tend to be a common issue in relationships. If one of you is a social butterfly and loves going out and seeing people and the other is happy at home engaging in solo projects/hobbies, the novelty of always compromising on the lifestyle you want eventually wears of.
 
Workplace interactions do happen, I've liked co-workers before. That said they're unadvisable if you ask me. If the relationship goes south it could end up ruining both your work lives.
 
I've been there; I fancied a girl who was a co-worker with me back in '06, but who was already taken. It really was awkward seeing her around, but I didn't see her again until I was in jail, where she was employed that year. After that, I knew the world really is small.

That's the last place you would expect to see someone you remember from your past...
 
One time I visited my aunt in South Dakota, and she told my mother and my uncle that she wanted to take them to a local steak house there and then asked me if that was okay. I'm vegan. They know I'm vegan. I was outnumbered and had had one too many tequila thingys, so I say "yes" out of embarrassment/pressure but then of course didn't order anything (which didn't seem to bother my aunt).

My point is that your co-workers were insanely rude to have ignored your objections to going to the Pho restaurant, especially since the whole thing was your idea to begin with. So, so, so rude. I can't imagine treating someone that way or the way my aunt treated me. This girl is obviously selfish. Your feelings will hopefully pass soon!
 
I am taking a different stance. Sometimes we do behave childishly if we fancy someone. It's like we revert to elementary kid's behavior. You obviously had feelings for her maybe more then you care to wish. You enjoyed the fantasy of what if. You see her everyday, so it's not like the cashier at the store that you may crush on.

The downside, never, never, never date people from your job. Quit, move to another job, then date person. There are so many things that can go wrong.

Go to Asian stores, maybe you will meet someone there. Good Luck Romeo.....
 
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