New Here. From Sunny Scotland

[Stephen1975]

Hi everyone,

My name is Stephen. I was diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome 8 years ago. I am now 42 and have struggled to understand people's motivations all my life. I prefer my own company and I don't like liars, but I have difficulty telling if others are lying so I have trust issues too. I am quite successful in business and am now semi-retired thanks to that success.

I am married although our relationship has been very bad for many years. We have 2 great kids and I enjoy spending time with them now that I don't need to work so much.

I tend to obsess a little about specific subjects and enjoy technology and movies above all else.

I have been told I can be very interesting and funny, but I find it very tiring to be in the company of many people at parties etc and sadly my wife gets the worst of me often when we get home.

I thought I would join this forum as I have been reading it from an arm's length for a few years but now feel I could do with support and hopefully, I can support others too. Specifically, I have been forced to question my take on "reality" by my wife who I feel bullies me a little and uses my Aspergers as a way of winning every argument we ever have (it has led me recently to suffer a great deal of self-doubt).

I look forward to sharing my experiences as best as I can.

Best Wishes

Stephen

 

[tree]

 

[Nitro]

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Welcome.

I find it very tiring to be in the company of many people at parties etc and sadly my wife gets the worst of me often when we get home.

Could i risk offense by asking how much drinking is involved at the parties?

One solution,here it to find a different way to spend time with your wife,so she doesnt get the worst.

I have been forced to question my take on "reality" by my wife who I feel bullies me a little and uses my Aspergers as a way of winning every argument we ever have (it has led me recently to suffer a great deal of self-doubt

Im not so good at that either.
The line i havent said yet :
Are you trying to win something here? Cos everytime you do it, we both lose.

Instead of thinking of comebacks i tnink,in my downtime, different ways i can ask for her help instead.
I try to train up for the next time it happens (normally theyre about similar things people take up familiar responses) so that i can say something different. That breaks the cycle.

 

[Starfire]

Hi Stephen welcome to the forum, and I'm glad you decided to get involved, the more the merrier!

 

[InPrincipio]

Welcome, Stephen, from sunny Scotland!

 

[Keigan]

Welcome!

 

[Stephen1975]

Welcome.



Could i risk offense by asking how much drinking is involved at the parties?

One solution,here it to find a different way to spend time with your wife,so she doesnt get the worst.



Im not so good at that either.
The line i havent said yet :
Are you trying to win something here? Cos everytime you do it, we both lose.

Instead of thinking of comebacks i tnink,in my downtime, different ways i can ask for her help instead.
I try to train up for the next time it happens (normally theyre about similar things people take up familiar responses) so that i can say something different. That breaks the cycle.

As it happens I don't drink (but you may have been asking about others), I find it difficult enough to keep up with everything and "be on form" without drinking As for your downtime advice... I really like that, thanks. I need to be more proactive and avoid the same old responses. I will try it out.

 

[Stephen1975]

Hi Stephen welcome to the forum, and I'm glad you decided to get involved, the more the merrier!

Thanks Starfire

 

[Keigan]

This is a former friend of mine, I know

he was honored to be able to pipe at Culloden Moor

 

[Judge]

Welcome to AF, Stephen. I think you'll like it here. It's a great resource for those of us on the spectrum.

 

[Streetwise]

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

 

[xudo]

Welcome, from sunny Wales

I chose the 'sometimes' option in the poll. Both myself and my husband are on the spectrum.

 

[Stephen1975]

Welcome, from sunny Wales

I chose the 'sometimes' option in the poll. Both myself and my husband are on the spectrum.

I've been having a frustrating time with my wife recently (and I doubt do she has been suffering the same for much longer), but she came out with the idea that "to be safe" should just trust that she is seeing the world correctly and whenever I am tempted to vent and she tells me that's not the way it is I should believe her. It's a very difficult thing to do... it makes me feel like I am in the matrix and I have just been told the world as I know it is an illusion.