hmm... so far what I think I am seeing is...
- Focus on improving myself for the moment.
- Possibly give up and continue to be single.
- Know what traits I find desirable.
- Potentially look for another aspie
- Try to recognize those traits in the women I meet.
- Don't rush into a relationship.
- ???<< how to actually enter the relationship... (presumably involves having an intense argument that leads to intense making out... or making bad jokes that are compliments of her physical appearance...)
- Enter the relationship with acceptance that things may or may not work out.
- Respect and compromise and forgiveness etc...
I don't know, this seems like decent advice but I feel like the actual "how to" instruction manual was left out and it was just indicated that i would naturally end up in a relationship once i picked a girl or something. I don't know how to date, I don't know how to talk to a girl and let her know i like her other then cheesy sitcom scenarios.
The truth is I am already trying to improve myself every day. when I graduated highschool and got diagnosed with aspergers, I was nowhere near as independent as I am now, I determined I would not let it hold me back and while it took longer then i'd have liked, I worked hard to find a consistent job, and move out on my own. I plan on attending college next year and working towards a career in education. I am always pushing myself to get better at socializing and making friends. But in that process I have always put aside the idea of pursuing relationships as something i would do after i had a job, or after i had my own place, or after i had my own car, and I'm running out of afters. I hate to remain stagnant, I want to further my goal of self improvement, and that includes improving my social abilities, and if I never try I don't feel like I'll know what to do if I do meet "the right girl"
I don't intend to rush anything, I've been procrastinating long enough though, so I'd like to at least know what baby steps will get me on the right path. And if I get hurt in the process or I learn that relationships aren't for me that will help me improve as well, knowing more about myself excites me, it allows me to know what to improve on, and what my strengths are. and getting hurt would probably help me with my empathy, I am sympathetic to others when they get their hearts broken, but i don't know the pain myself so it would at least allow me to relate to them better.
I can accept a life without a significant other, however I don't want to miss an opportunity because I never gave it a shot.
I hope I don't come off as insensitive or ungrateful here, I think the advice given was great, but I really wanted to explain my perspective on this further. I think you may have also boosted my confidence, so I can give this a shot even if i don't know the exact mechanisms that neurotypicals use to court each other.
also... after posting this thread I mentally thought out the girls i know of who fit my criteria and after checking her facebook to see that she was single, I have considered one particular co-worker as someone i'd be interested in pursuing at least a movie date, I am nervous and kind of expect rejection, but I feel like she would be kind enough to let me down easy, and at the very least it is a learning experience. I will keep what was said in this forum in mind ^^