dave_at_edi
New Member
"I have considered one particular co-worker as someone i'd be interested in pursuing at least a movie date, I am nervous and kind of expect rejection, but I feel like she would be kind enough to let me down easy, and at the very least it is a learning experience. I will keep what was said in this forum in mind "
My first date was at age 25. She was a co-worker who was smart and attractive and unattached. She understood the work (programming computers), so we had that in common to start with. She was well-established on the project, and I was a temporary transfer from far out of town. I started by asking her a few questions about the project. She answered, helpfully. She now knew my name, and I hers.
A couple of days later, I asked her about her hobbies. Turned out we had one in common, volleyball. This was a little surprising, as she was 5'2" and more round than lithe; I was 6'3". I asked her where she played, and she invited me to tag along to the pickup game. I did, knowing nowhere to play. Afterward, I thanked her for inviting me, and we each went home. (Our skill level was incredibly disparate. I had been playing serious competitive volleyball for 8 years. When I did hook up with a team there in San Diego, we came in 12th in the Volleyball Nationals that year.) I guess this was our first date, an activity we both enjoyed, together.
A few days later, I stopped by her desk, and we started chatting. She remarked about how well I played volleyball, and I confessed to having played it a lot, allowed as how that pickup game wasn't right for me (those players could get really hurt if I played like I normally did!), and switched the topic. I asked her how she had gotten assigned to this project. She had transferred from Minneapolis 6 months earlier, and I from Washington DC a few weeks earlier. This led to college experience, programming experience, and some adventures in the programming world. Trading stories is a major part of starting a relationship. Gotta ask and listen rather than talk, Aspie!
She then asked if I played tennis, since someone in her apartment complex wanted to play doubles and she had no partner. I accepted, with some unspoken reservations. (I was MVP on my high school team. My serve was unreturnable at the high school level. Here we go again...) I toned it down a lot, and we had a good time, going out for beers afterward. I make a lot of jokes, and we had a good time together. This was our second date.
A bit later, we were chatting again. I gently asked about her likes, in food, in wine (I had no experience in this one), her views on smoking, religion, and where she was born. Migod, we were both born in Wisconsin, 50 miles apart, a year difference in age. I bought a bottle of her favorite wine, wrapped it in computer printouts, and left it on her desk, with no note. She was pleased, of course, and we drank it at her apartment before going out for food. This was our third date. Many more were to follow. When I picked up a VB team there, she came to watch practice and tournaments, and drink beer afterwards with my new team. We were falling in love, a bit befuddled at the new emotions.
Six months later, she invited me to move in with her. Thank goodness she had some experience with sex, because That Night, Valentine's Day, 1972, I willingly gave up my virginity. We have since made two children, and will soon celebrate our 45th anniversary together. About a decade ago, we found out I am Aspie and she is HFA. No wonder we got along.
My first date was at age 25. She was a co-worker who was smart and attractive and unattached. She understood the work (programming computers), so we had that in common to start with. She was well-established on the project, and I was a temporary transfer from far out of town. I started by asking her a few questions about the project. She answered, helpfully. She now knew my name, and I hers.
A couple of days later, I asked her about her hobbies. Turned out we had one in common, volleyball. This was a little surprising, as she was 5'2" and more round than lithe; I was 6'3". I asked her where she played, and she invited me to tag along to the pickup game. I did, knowing nowhere to play. Afterward, I thanked her for inviting me, and we each went home. (Our skill level was incredibly disparate. I had been playing serious competitive volleyball for 8 years. When I did hook up with a team there in San Diego, we came in 12th in the Volleyball Nationals that year.) I guess this was our first date, an activity we both enjoyed, together.
A few days later, I stopped by her desk, and we started chatting. She remarked about how well I played volleyball, and I confessed to having played it a lot, allowed as how that pickup game wasn't right for me (those players could get really hurt if I played like I normally did!), and switched the topic. I asked her how she had gotten assigned to this project. She had transferred from Minneapolis 6 months earlier, and I from Washington DC a few weeks earlier. This led to college experience, programming experience, and some adventures in the programming world. Trading stories is a major part of starting a relationship. Gotta ask and listen rather than talk, Aspie!
She then asked if I played tennis, since someone in her apartment complex wanted to play doubles and she had no partner. I accepted, with some unspoken reservations. (I was MVP on my high school team. My serve was unreturnable at the high school level. Here we go again...) I toned it down a lot, and we had a good time, going out for beers afterward. I make a lot of jokes, and we had a good time together. This was our second date.
A bit later, we were chatting again. I gently asked about her likes, in food, in wine (I had no experience in this one), her views on smoking, religion, and where she was born. Migod, we were both born in Wisconsin, 50 miles apart, a year difference in age. I bought a bottle of her favorite wine, wrapped it in computer printouts, and left it on her desk, with no note. She was pleased, of course, and we drank it at her apartment before going out for food. This was our third date. Many more were to follow. When I picked up a VB team there, she came to watch practice and tournaments, and drink beer afterwards with my new team. We were falling in love, a bit befuddled at the new emotions.
Six months later, she invited me to move in with her. Thank goodness she had some experience with sex, because That Night, Valentine's Day, 1972, I willingly gave up my virginity. We have since made two children, and will soon celebrate our 45th anniversary together. About a decade ago, we found out I am Aspie and she is HFA. No wonder we got along.
