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My parents treat me like I'm autistic

F

FieryFlashlight

New Member
Hello all! So basically, parents think and me like I'm autistic.

When I was fourteen years old (like 5 months ago, I was diagnosed with autism. What happened before this:

- I would cry about anything petty.
- Everything had be done the right order.
- Everything had to be done the same way.
- I couldn't be independant.
- I never talked to anyone. (I'm homeschooled so I rarely met anyone)
- And a lot of other things which I forget.

During this time, I never knew it was autism, and I just never realized it was weird.

While my parents got me diagnosed (explaining everything I did to the doctor), I realized it was weird and not normal. I did not want to be autistic. Also its worth mentioning I was tested twice before, both saying I'm perfectly normal. My parents really wanted the answer to be yes, so they kept trying, exaggerating more and more. They really wanted me autistic for some reason.

So what did I do? I decided that very day to stop anything and everything that I did. I suddenly became social. I started becoming more indepedant. I stopped crying for petty reasons. Basically I became a new person. I am now not autistic in any way. Only problem is my parents think that I still am. They treat me like I am autistic. They make everything "special" for me, thinking I'll start having a meltdown. They think if something is different from my nonexistant schedule I'll start crying. Dinner a bit late? They think i'll start crying nonstop. Someone talks to me? I'll start wailing in public. But this is extremely untrue. They are preventing me from talking with others, and telling me to make friends with other autists (nothing against you guys) and not anyone else.

Also for the longest time I've had this horrid haircut. My parents hated it, but didn't say anything because they think I'll just start crying about it. I've now told them I want a new haircut, and they just say "sometime".

So basically, ever since I got that diagnose,I've become a whole new person, not autistic, but my parents are convinced I still am. They treat me differently, in public too. It really embarrasses me.

They also are expecting me to live with them forever, and not move out. But I do want to and will move out. They are also under the impression I'm going to be an engineer when I'm older because "lots of people who do that are like you". They also think I'm never going to get married, even though I am going to.

It really sucks, and I don't know at all what to do about this. What do you think? Sorry if this is a bit hard to read. :p :)
 
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It sounds like you're saying that the diagnosis scared you straight,
so to speak, and now you're all better, because you've learned to
behave differently.

Whereas in the past you acted like an undisciplined immature child,
now you figure you have yourself under control.

That's what it sounds like.

Why do your parents project that you'll cry over things like unexpected changes?

Is it possible that you used to do that?
And that your new behavior doesn't seem real to them?
 
Yes. That is almost exactly what it is! I learned that what I used to do was weird, so I learned to control myself and act better. I didn't realise I was weird in the past.

Yes, I kind of did was younger. I've told them I'm changed but they don't believe me exactly. They claim they are doing what is best for me, which will make me happier. Which I'm not. They don't believe anything I say about it.
 
Once people have decided they know how you are, it can take them a long time after you change, for them to change their opinion of you. If your changes are making you happier, keep it up. Eventually, they may catch up.

In my late teens and twenties, I evaluated the way I was raised and how I was living, and I decided what things I wanted to keep and what I wanted to change. I made some very deliberate changes. I'm almost 50 and my parents still haven't accepted some of those changes. I have given up trying to change their minds - I live my life and I try my best to interact with them on my terms.
 
Five months out of a life of 14 years equals
less than 3% of that lifetime.

So, if the improvements in behavior are stable
and permanent, it may take a little more time
for them to be considered real, by other people.
 
Even if you are autistic it sounds like your parents aren't respecting your boundaries. Some autistic people live with their parents. Some don't. It's not okay to assume that. Everyone is different.

Do you see a counselor or therapist by chance? Maybe you can sit down with your parents and confront them. I recommend a counselor or therapist because it provides a safe place where people can communicate topics like this without feeling overwhelmed.

If you don't have one, I feel like confronting them might be a good option. Sure you might have changed, but keeping that up constantly must be exhausting! And anxiety inducing. You are you! It must feel weird to feel the need to change.
 
Wow! That is something else. I don't have a lot of advice but just want to say Hello and I hope that you will find lots of happiness on your journey :)
 
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