• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

My language is too mean?

It goes right along side "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.".

You get what you want more often by being nice.
 
I was taught very early on to not call people bad names because it is wrong .

I have learned to control this even though I may be thinking it.

But I can’t do the kind smile and pretend the opposite with people .
I may sit quietly contemplating why they are doing or saying something dumb .

Also it gets confusing because if I do speak up properly to help someone I am told I come off rude or condescending even though I am just trying to help .

Or I am being told my Body language is showing I am angry and my voice is loud , this is not the case internally

I don’t even realize I am doing this.
It is not even lining up with my thoughts I am just trying to help in the most logical way I see .

So it’s best not to even contribute or help most or the time . Most of the time it is perceived incorrectly.

Same on the forum . Words can be taken so many different ways .

But everyone should know not to degrade somebody with harsh words .
 
maycontainthunder said:
^ I'm reading it as replacing 'sugar' with politeness and 'medicine' with advice.
Click to expand...
Oh ok because I am thinking eating a spoon full of sugar actually tastes very bad . And yeah some medicine is horrible tasting . But would rather quick drink it compared to trying to have sugar dissolve in my mouth .

I never understood it in Mary Poppins .

I had no idea it was a metaphor for behavior.

Thx !
 
tripleU said:
People consider me to be very rude, and I got banned from blenderartists for this. It's like I don't know some rules of the universe. Like I say you are dumb and some instructions, they get angry. Couldn't you ask me for further info, no just get angry and ban.

I can't detect tone. If, I say something like this (sunlight) reminds me of my very tall cousin. My grandpa took it as an insult to "his kids", no that's your grandchildren. What is this law of the Universe? Also, as a child I didn't understand jokes until Middle School, when I tried deeply thinking on them.
Click to expand...

There are many different kinds of intelligence. You have your limits, just as they have theirs. When I was little, I would call lots of things "stupid," which drove my mom crazy. I can have my opinion, but there is intelligence in different places. Especially in how you use what you have. I work with people who have an intellectual disability, and don't consider them stupid. Often they are just misunderstood and stigmatized.
 
I'll add, too, it might be good to ask why you feel the need to be mean. Perhaps there is some sense of power or meaning missing from your life.
 
Outdated said:
it taught me Compassion.
Click to expand...
...for everyone that's dumber than you? That's the message I'm getting from that teacher's actions.

Ok, so I'mma get theoretical, so don't take it as an accusation. But, on paper, the results are essentially that you no longer had to bully others (in self-defense) because you understood, deep down, you were better than them. Therefore, you had nothing to prove, acted as such, and this new attitude quelled all social challengers. Problem solved (for school administration).

You seem to have mixed feelings, taking the higher-ups of the program to task, whilst cherishing your time there.

In high school I was asked to volunteer once per week at this community center, which I did for three years. There were a lot of poor, abused kids there and this program was kinda to keep certain kids off the streets so they couldn't get into trouble. I eventually figured out that I wasn't helping poor kids with social and life skills, but conditioning them to accept their social position and integrate into adulthood at the bottom of society. I was also "victimized" in this scheme, because I was poor but not a troublemaker, ergo I was an example of what the other urchens should aspire to. I figured this out after I failed to attain a higher position in the program. Despite my skills being better suited to managing a subset of the outreach, I was never allowed to advance because prep kids were being funneled through the management positions as resume builders.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
The medicine is something hard to accept. Sugar is sweet.

Everything you say, use empathy and kindness. Say it in a way that makes life easier for the other person.

Or say nothing at all.
Click to expand...
Thx , I thought it was about actual sugar and medicine
 
Maybe we should make a thread to discuss the breakdown down of metaphors in Mary Poppins. Or as a matter of fact most Disney movies
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom