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Loneliness and lack of love.

A

AMANDA DESIREE WILSON

Active Member
I am so lonely. There is no love in my life. Last night I had a dream where there was someone who loved me and I loved her. I knew it was a dream and I never wanted to wake up to the cruel world that I live in now. I spend every second of my life alone. I have never been in a relationship that lasted more than a couple of months. How do people like me deal with this torture?

How do others deal with this? I have tried making friends. I am not a recluse. My family doesn't seem to care about me. So I am at odds as to how to deal with loneliness in my life.
 
We just have to try to find a way to accept were destined to become lone wolfes i guess, i know thats what i had to become as well a hoooowling lone wolf. Most defenetly not by my own choice ( i would say my Signature and profile explains why )

But of course dont give up either somewhere out there theres both friends to be find as well as someone to be loved its just a question of finding eatchoder. some do this some dont its life.

If you whant a friend im only a Pm away
 
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I am lonely too. I joined a dating site. I have "met" two men that may work out to be relationships.
I haven't met either in person yet.
I don't really have any family or friends.
 
AMANDA DESIREE WILSON said:
I am so lonely. There is no love in my life. Last night I had a dream where there was someone who loved me and I loved her. I knew it was a dream and I never wanted to wake up to the cruel world that I live in now. I spend every second of my life alone. I have never been in a relationship that lasted more than a couple of months. How do people like me deal with this torture?

How do others deal with this? I have tried making friends. I am not a recluse. My family doesn't seem to care about me. So I am at odds as to how to deal with loneliness in my life.
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The story of my life. I grew up being rejected, ostracized, shunned, picked on, and bullied. besides the usual not understanding human interaction in general and especially social interaction. my flavor of autism includes severe social anxiety, anthrophobia, and an inability to bond with another person - none of which reduces the desire to interact with and love someone. As you might suspect, I grew up a very lonely person.

And U still am. but somehow I made it through. So can you. Draw strength from he fact that there are others here in similar situations who can offer advice and support.
 
AMANDA DESIREE WILSON said:
I am so lonely. There is no love in my life. Last night I had a dream where there was someone who loved me and I loved her. I knew it was a dream and I never wanted to wake up to the cruel world that I live in now. I spend every second of my life alone. I have never been in a relationship that lasted more than a couple of months. How do people like me deal with this torture?

How do others deal with this? I have tried making friends. I am not a recluse. My family doesn't seem to care about me. So I am at odds as to how to deal with loneliness in my life.
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All I can really do I offer support and comiserate. I always did and still do spend too much time in my head. I can be friendly with people in real life, but it's only a matter of time until the mask slips and they withdraw. I often feel like it's completely up to me to stay in contact, which in a friendship should be give and take, right?

The best I can suggest is to find a community of weirdos who meet for a specific reason. Games, art, reading...Even if you don't interact all that much, you can be around people. Anything task-orientet usually helps because socializing isn't the entire point.
 
Just accept reality. This love that you desire is a fantasy that will never come true, you are better off focusing on things that can be real. You need to either accept the superficial "quid-pro-quo" nature of it, or focus on other goals if that's not something you are interested in. If you have actual goals in life then loneliness kind of fades away... there will be the occasional moments... but usually you'll be too busy to be lonely.
 
AMANDA DESIREE WILSON said:
I am so lonely. There is no love in my life. Last night I had a dream where there was someone who loved me and I loved her. I knew it was a dream and I never wanted to wake up to the cruel world that I live in now. I spend every second of my life alone. I have never been in a relationship that lasted more than a couple of months. How do people like me deal with this torture?

How do others deal with this? I have tried making friends. I am not a recluse. My family doesn't seem to care about me. So I am at odds as to how to deal with loneliness in my life.
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I see that according to your profile, you are 62 years old. I'm going to suggest something that you haven't thought of before.

My husband (78) and I (65) have become very involved in our senior center, and slowly, we have become friendly with a few people there. But beyond that, we find that people there are surprisingly accepting of mental differences. The reason is that all of us are losing some of our marbles, so we tolerate differences in others.

For instance, one lady always jokes that she doesn't remember our names from one day to the next, and it's because of dementia. We smile and say we understand. In my case it's not dementia, it's a mild form of prosopagnosia (can't recognize people) that I have always had. I can't remember her name either!

But we do recognize smiling faces. The senior center has many activity groups (like art, bicycling, watching free movies, or going out to eat) as well as social workers, massage therapy, and exercise classes for all levels.

If you are feeling lonely, I advise you to drop in to a local senior center, pick up a brochure or two, and see if it might be a place to make friends and find happiness. Good luck!
 
I live in the country. There are no senior centers here. I also have problems with large groups of people. I recently attended a dinner for volunteers of a fair that I volunteered at. Even though there were many older people there, I ended up sitting alone. People knew each other but no one seemed to want to talk with me. Unfortunately, I am back in Canada. When I lived in Peru, I use to work with zoo animals and had many friends at the zoo. Have you ever kissed a monkey on the lips or bottle fed a baby lion cub. I am much more at home with wild animals than people.
 
Senior Centre, eh?
Never thought of that and I'm the same age.
Not sure if there is one even though I live in a city.

I know I'll always be alone at heart also. Inability to bond and always found relationships
never last. Can't keep the mask up forever. You suffocate!
I was always "comfortable" with my parents, but, they're gone now too.
 
You were lucky to comfortable with your parents. My parents abused me as a child because of my Asperger's Syndrome. My childhood was terrible. No love, only fear. In later years, I was able to talk to my mother, but she never acknowledged how bad my Asperger's was. My family never called to see how I was doing. At times I was homeless and no one in the family offered to help. My suggestion to you is find an animal and bond with it. You may find that you too have an ability to bond with animals like I do.
 
Didn't you just answer your own question?

Just don't kiss monkeys on the lips. Geez. That's how weird deadly diseases spread. Even a dog lick can infect you with flesh eating bacteria.
 
I would rather kiss a monkey than some human. Monkeys in zoos are healthier than people are. Monkeys also kiss in the wild as a form of social acceptance. People like you believe everything the media says. A dog's mouth is surprisingly cleaned than yours. When you can sit down with a puma or lion and not be afraid, then you know that you have a bond with them. Unfortunately, people like you may never understand how wonderful it is to bond with an animal.
 
I love animals, but, it just doesn't take away that void of desire for human love.
Really my parents were the only ones I could feel comfortable with though.
I'm not the romantic type and friends always seemed fickle.

I love animals and I'm not afraid of them either, I could sit with a lion or other
non-domestic animals and not be afraid because I know what you are talking about.
There is something between you and them that is like an invisible bonding of understanding.
I'll always miss the happiness I knew with my parents though.
Not allowed cats or dogs where I am renting, but, I do have some unusual pets that most people
wouldn't think about.
I keep two beetles in a beta jar and find them interesting to observe. I sit them on the counter
beside where I eat. Easy to take care of, feed and keep their living quarters clean.
I also have 8 tree frogs living in plants inside the screened pool enclosure.
And I help the Monarchs by keeping a patch of milkweed. I have a caterpillar box
where I feed them and keep them until they turn into the Chrysalis then the butterly.

Yes, I was lucky my parents were close with me. We had good times, but, having lived
in a loving family unit like that all my life until in my 50's only makes it harder to be
alone now.
 
I never had a family life. My first twenty years were filled with fear and abuse. Even though I have six years of community college in three different disciplines, I was never able to get a good job. I have been alone all my life. I have managed to survive, albeit, I did end up in hospitals for drug overdoses. I am a religious person. This has kept me alive.

When I lived in Peru, I developed a love for the people. They are so warm and friendly for the most part. They are also very poor and want help learning English. I ended up becoming a certified TESL teacher. I am hoping to go back to South America in two years to teach English. This many sound funny considering I have Asperger's and don't do well with people, but when I taught in Peru before, I found that there were many people there just like me.

In the meantime, I really don't do anything. I have no friends, only people I know. I have never had the chance to marry. Winter is not my best time of the year. I do hope to get a part-time job this winter at a local ski resort to keep me busy and around people.

Unfortunately, there are still times when I get severely depresses because of the loneliness and the memories of being abused. Those are the times I hate the most.
 
It's ironic about teaching, but, again I've been there when I was younger.
I haven't been to Peru, although Machu Picchu is the one place in the world I wish I could have
seen. I knew a family from Peru that ran a group home and I liked them.
I can imagine in my mind how the people you speak of there could be so nice and not intimidating.
It is a whole different feel. It is comfortable compared to the society in America.
Open, non-judgemental, need some help, welcoming. All those words come to mind when I
mentally put myself there. At one with the Earth.

I taught metaphysics and people of all beliefs and thoughts were there. It was like a mix of science and
philosophy. Everyone was open and equal there too. None became friends, but, I enjoyed
teaching.

I envy people who do have something that actually helps get them them through life
whatever it may be.
 
Don't wish you can go somewhere. Do it. I don't know what your financial situation is but if you can afford to go, do it. Go for six months and volunteer teaching English to impoverished children. When you come back, you will have a new perspective on life.
 
AMANDA DESIREE WILSON said:
Monkeys in zoos are healthier than people are. Monkeys also kiss in the wild as a form of social acceptance. People like you believe everything the media says. A dog's mouth is surprisingly cleaned than yours. When you can sit down with a puma or lion and not be afraid, then you know that you have a bond with them. Unfortunately, people like you may never understand how wonderful it is to bond with an animal.
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Well spoken indeed what we also have to keep in mind here is said disease that is claimed to come from Monkeyes arent from every species of monkey it if i dont remember wrong the resus makak and the more close to our own species (ie Chimps etc... ) + its WILD caught specimen . I have been a SEVERE X 1000 animal nut since i was born and had MANY diffent both pets and also Exotic animals of all sizes and Species ( CAPTIVE bread NO wild caught ) im envious of you that you had to sit down with a puma or lion (i presume still cubs tho ? ) And i would happily risk or loose my life for an encounter like that with adult ones (prefably tamed tho) . The soul reason for me breathing air is the love i have and have gotten from my pets and get to meet animals (incl in zoos )
 
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I have bottle fed a six week old lion cub a couple of times. I have also played with a couple of baby lions. As well, I have had the opportunity to rub tigers heads as well as a beautiful Jaguar. But I also took care of sick, injured, and quarantined animals and birds at the zoo. I had four favorite friends there. The first was an Andean fox that I befriended and was allowed to get in with and play with. The second was a full grown puma who use to roll over on his back and purr as I talked to him. Then there was Princess, a coatimundi and Pooh, a kinkajou. I use to take them out for walks. I would place them inside of my shirt where it was warm. I also played with the spider monkeys. I miss my friends. Not everyone can interact with wild animals. I have no fear of any wild animal. I have respect for them though. I use to spend long periods of time talking with the lions. They use to love my visits and the patrons to the zoo were amazed at what I was able to do.

If you want to and can afford the cost of volunteering, there is a zoo in Peru where I worked that takes volunteers. That would give you the opportunity to interact with the animals.
 
To me being accepted by any animal is everything and it means more to me then anything else ( like when i befriended a new young male camel when i worked a zoo keeper in smaller zoo for a while that was magick i just stood there and he put his head to my chest for Comfort pure heaven (dreamy eyes)

I should add cation tho DONT try that EVER as when camel males become adult they become more aggressive and can easily throw you for a HIGH air tripp (something my dear friend (another zoo keeper ) infomed me about when i mentined this to him

AMANDA DESIREE WILSON said:
I have bottle fed a six week old lion cub a couple of times. I have also played with a couple of baby lions. As well, I have had the opportunity to rub tigers heads as well as a beautiful Jaguar. But I also took care of sick, injured, and quarantined animals and birds at the zoo. I had four favorite friends there. The first was an Andean fox that I befriended and was allowed to get in with and play with. The second was a full grown puma who use to roll over on his back and purr as I talked to him. Then there was Princess, a coatimundi and Pooh, a kinkajou. I use to take them out for walks. I would place them inside of my shirt where it was warm. I also played with the spider monkeys. I miss my friends. Not everyone can interact with wild animals. I have no fear of any wild animal. I have respect for them though. I use to spend long periods of time talking with the lions. They use to love my visits and the patrons to the zoo were amazed at what I was able to do.

If you want to and can afford the cost of volunteering, there is a zoo in Peru where I worked that takes volunteers. That would give you the opportunity to interact with the animals.
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Yeah as i said i both had diffent Exotic animals You name it i probaly had it once (giggles) as well as domestic once. Like you i understand animals and they accept me ,WAY better then i do humans .Sadly im not able too but i do have our countries BEST zoos in close enogh by car traveling distance and belive me i will go multible times from next year to all of them ;)

Its actually one of the few gifts us within this spectrum are sometimes given to be able to interact with animals
 
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I had a friend called Leroy Brown. He was a camel who lived in a zoo in Ontario, Canada. Leroy was a wonderful friend. He would lean his head over the fence and kiss my head. This is dangerous but if you have a connection, it is okay. When I would cut the grass in the paddock beside his, I would give him the clippings. He loved them. Leroy was a special camel.

Have you ever worked with Tapirs. They are wonderful animals. When we brought three into our zoo from another zoo in Peru, the handlers were afraid of them. The others did not speak English and I didn't speak Spanish so I couldn't explain to them that they didn't need to use broom handles to move them from the cage to the enclosure. One day after we moved them, I went into see them with their food. The vet gave me crap but she really still had no idea of my abilities. Anyways, soon the public would see me playing with them.

My greatest time in my life was when I was with the animals.
 
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