Life and love is really beating me up

[Feldwebel Knispel]

Here I am after being inactive on here for a few months. Lately, life has really been kicking me in the ass. Before Thanksgiving, I met a woman at my college. She is 24 and I am 19 about to turn 20. At this stage, I prefer older women due to the fact that a lot of the time its been girls my age that have done more to hurt me and have more acted more immature than a lot of the older women I've managed to talk to. A lot of these younger women have ghosted me, accused me of harassment and got me sent to the dean's office, and all kinds of other things.

Anyway, me and this 24 year old seem to hit it off, however there seem to be two main problems. The first one is that she has strong left-wing views and is a "free love" and "spiritual, but not religious" type. Meanwhile, I have very far-right and old-fashioned views on a lot of things. I was willing to tolerate her views as long as she tolerated mine. There is an even bigger issue, though.

This woman is polyamorous and claims to be in a "committed relationship." How you can be in a committed relationship and still romantically engage others is something I will never understand, but whatever. Due to the socially conservative views I have, I think polyamory is degenerate, immature, and selfish. I told her I liked her and she gave me an excuse about already being in a committed relationship and later told me she wouldn't date me because of my confidence issues.

This was before Thanksgiving and I still cannot get over this. I am still very hurt and angry about the whole situation. Since the last time I posted here, more stuff has been happening. I met a girl right before Hurricane Irma hit us and again we hit it off and it actually looked like she had a thing for me and she blocked me on Snapchat after the storm hit without any explanation. We never argued and I never even said anything that would offend her or make her angry. Shortly after this, this girl had me sent to the dean's office at my college because she believed I was harassing her. She accused me of following her around and sitting by her (I didn't know sitting by people constituted harassment, but okay). Then, I was also ghosted by a beautiful Russian girl I met after I told her I liked her.

My self-esteem and morale are even lower than usual. I don't have the motivation to approach anybody and if something were to kick off I always have the feeling that it will fizzle out eventually. I can never attract any of the women I want and feel like experiencing intimacy and romance is something permanently out of my reach. If it matters, I would prefer to date a white woman (preferably older than me) who is either apolitical or right-wing like me and isn't extremely religious since I am an atheist (so basically a woman like Lauren Southern or Tomi Lahren). However, older women also prefer older and more financially well-off men. I am 19 and work part-time at GameStop, so I'm like the last choice for those kind of women. I also just dropped out of college.

This situation is also made worse by the fact that I am out of one of my medications. Every time I wake up, I either want to hurt myself or someone else (usually the women that were mean to me when they rejected me). I am so ****ing done with all of this. I am just tired of living and tired of getting hurt.

 

[Chance]

I'm the last person on here that should ever give you advice with a lady - trust me. I just want you to know I understand what is to feel crushed and hurt. I do hope you find what you seek and you get in better spirits very soon. : )

 

[Tom]

Forget the relationships for a while and concentrate on getting yourself rolling on 4 wheels again. Meds first, stabilize and then back to school. Aspies take longer to develop and mature. I didn't start feeling confident till around 24.

I played for an American military team in a friendship game with the German military (Soccer). In the dinner afterwards we traded uniforms by rank match up and I went home in a Feldwebel uniform. I still have the insignia. Pretty fun.

 

[Suiseiseki]

Don't date in collage, especially as a right-winger.
It's not gonna happen.
Focus on your studies.

 

[Bolletje]

I'll agree with @Tom in that you should forget about relationships for a bit and focus on your own happiness. Get your meds, get some extra help if needed, and get yourself to a better place.

For the future I'd suggest that if you hold such strong convictions, it's probably not a good idea to attempt dating someone with views so diametrically opposed to yours. Why you would pursue a woman whose views on sex and relationships you view as degenerate slightly confuses me. Food for thought, perhaps.

 

[Suzanne]

I think today's dating game is just horrific and really, glad that I am not a part of it.

I spent quite a few years being attracted to a type of man that was just not attracted to the type of girl I was! Then, out of no where, this type of man, came into my life and with utter shock, was attracted to me and he even said that he thought he would never be attracted to a redhead!

Now, here is the thing: that man is my husband and in truth, he lacks personality ( his words too) and thus, I learned that it is not looks that count, but the personality that counts.

As for your situation. At least she told you what it was that she was not attracted to and so that actually gives you something to ponder on ie gaining confidence ( not easy, I know).

It seems to me that girls today have honestly lost the plot! And takes makes a mockery or those who truly do suffer from sexual harrassment.

This is a very true statement and proved so with me. When you do not look, you find. So, stop seeing every girl you take a liking to, as a potential partner; see them as a companion that you can have fun with ie laugh, talk seriously etc etc and see what developes from that.

Beauty; being handsome is honestly not all that, as you have found out.

 

[Feldwebel Knispel]

Forget the relationships for a while and concentrate on getting yourself rolling on 4 wheels again. Meds first, stabilize and then back to school. Aspies take longer to develop and mature. I didn't start feeling confident till around 24.

I played for an American military team in a friendship game with the German military (Soccer). In the dinner afterwards we traded uniforms by rank match up and I went home in a Feldwebel uniform. I still have the insignia. Pretty fun.

Sorry, I'm not going back to college. I ****ing hate that place and most of the people there and felt very unhappy during my time in college.

 

[WereBear]

Why you would pursue a woman whose views on sex and relationships you view as degenerate slightly confuses me.

Likewise.

Personally, I would find holding right-wing views to be a serious barrier to personal relationships. They tend to put "people in boxes" and have unrealistic expectations. This distorts both you, and the people you wish to be close to. Aspies, especially, are individuals and should be treated as such, but every person should be treated as special and different.

You were attracted to someone with views you say you do not hold... and yet, she was the person you were attracted to because she gave herself the freedom to be herself.

Might be a lesson there.

 

[Feldwebel Knispel]

Likewise.

Personally, I would find holding right-wing views to be a serious barrier to personal relationships. They tend to put "people in boxes" and have unrealistic expectations. This distorts both you, and the people you wish to be close to. Aspies, especially, are individuals and should be treated as such, but every person should be treated as special and different.

You were attracted to someone with views you say you do not hold... and yet, she was the person you were attracted to because she gave herself the freedom to be herself.

Might be a lesson there.

Well, sorry not sorry, I have the morals and positions that I have and I shouldn't have to change them because they make people feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry, I just don't like when people make comments like that about my social and political views.

 

[WereBear]

I have the morals and positions that I have and I shouldn't have to change them because they make people feel uncomfortable.

Okay, but do you respect others? Especially women? Are these harassment things all "not your fault"?

The solution to problems is to figure out what is causing them...

 

[Feldwebel Knispel]

Okay, but do you respect others? Especially women? Are these harassment things all "not your fault"?

The solution to problems is to figure out what is causing them...

First of all, I respect those who respect me. I'm not a doormat. Second of all, since that was the first and only time someone has ever accused me of harassing them, I can confidently say its not my fault.

 

[Tiar DVaughn]

First of all, I respect those who respect me. I'm not a doormat. Second of all, since that was the first and only time someone has ever accused me of harassing them, I can confidently say its not my fault.

Aaaand that would be precisely the reason why your relationship failed.

I'm sorry, but if you wanted the woman in your life badly enough, the least you could have done was try to make it work.

Also, whose fault is it? Hurricane Irma didn't do anything to your relationship.

If my views were so different from those of a woman I loved, I would do my best to modify them to meet her needs. It isn't just about what I want . . . or in your case, is isn't just about what you want.

 

[nowwhat]

Here I am after being inactive on here for a few months. Lately, life has really been kicking me in the ass. Before Thanksgiving, I met a woman at my college. She is 24 and I am 19 about to turn 20. At this stage, I prefer older women due to the fact that a lot of the time its been girls my age that have done more to hurt me and have more acted more immature than a lot of the older women I've managed to talk to. A lot of these younger women have ghosted me, accused me of harassment and got me sent to the dean's office, and all kinds of other things.

Anyway, me and this 24 year old seem to hit it off, however there seem to be two main problems. The first one is that she has strong left-wing views and is a "free love" and "spiritual, but not religious" type. Meanwhile, I have very far-right and old-fashioned views on a lot of things. I was willing to tolerate her views as long as she tolerated mine. There is an even bigger issue, though.

This woman is polyamorous and claims to be in a "committed relationship." How you can be in a committed relationship and still romantically engage others is something I will never understand, but whatever. Due to the socially conservative views I have, I think polyamory is degenerate, immature, and selfish. I told her I liked her and she gave me an excuse about already being in a committed relationship and later told me she wouldn't date me because of my confidence issues.

This was before Thanksgiving and I still cannot get over this. I am still very hurt and angry about the whole situation. Since the last time I posted here, more stuff has been happening. I met a girl right before Hurricane Irma hit us and again we hit it off and it actually looked like she had a thing for me and she blocked me on Snapchat after the storm hit without any explanation. We never argued and I never even said anything that would offend her or make her angry. Shortly after this, this girl had me sent to the dean's office at my college because she believed I was harassing her. She accused me of following her around and sitting by her (I didn't know sitting by people constituted harassment, but okay). Then, I was also ghosted by a beautiful Russian girl I met after I told her I liked her.

My self-esteem and morale are even lower than usual. I don't have the motivation to approach anybody and if something were to kick off I always have the feeling that it will fizzle out eventually. I can never attract any of the women I want and feel like experiencing intimacy and romance is something permanently out of my reach. If it matters, I would prefer to date a white woman (preferably older than me) who is either apolitical or right-wing like me and isn't extremely religious since I am an atheist (so basically a woman like Lauren Southern or Tomi Lahren). However, older women also prefer older and more financially well-off men. I am 19 and work part-time at GameStop, so I'm like the last choice for those kind of women. I also just dropped out of college.

This situation is also made worse by the fact that I am out of one of my medications. Every time I wake up, I either want to hurt myself or someone else (usually the women that were mean to me when they rejected me). I am so ****ing done with all of this. I am just tired of living and tired of getting hurt.

I will not get into the harrasment accusations since we only have one side and that is a tertiary issue given everything else that is wrong with this situation and the agony it would cause in your life if you don't walk away. If you like pain and want less self respect, go ahead and continue to consider this thing a viable option. Of save yourself the time and just hit yourself in the face with a cast iron skillet a few hundred times.

 

[Shiznown]

Okay, first thing to know is women are more emotional and thus tend to have politically views to revolve more around emotion, especially younger women. You shouldn't get into any relationship with a woman that is polygamous if you want a serious committed relationship. The only reason and I wouldn't even advise this, is if you just want sex or have some hope for a threesome. That would be the only reason to date a woman who can't commit to just one person. As I said, even if that is the case I still don't advise it, because if you are lonely you will get attached. Also, younger women tend to want a "bad boy" and go through that phase when they are younger. The whole, let me date a bad boy to piss off daddy thing. Of course not every girl is like that, but it is common enough to keep in mind. Also, you need to be weary of women who have gone through abuse. They will either not know how to care for you, or push you away and hurt you on purpose because they'll think they are doing you a favor. I'm going to get a lot of hate for this, but women who have been through abuse are A LOT to deal with.