Just got diagnosed. Any tips?

[malu1ce]

I got diagnosed this week and I'd like some tips that could help me understand myself better. Do you guys keep your autism as a secret? Would you recommend me trying to unmask? How do you guys deal with executive dysfunction?

 

[330]

I got diagnosed this week and I'd like some tips that could help me understand myself better. Do you guys keep your autism as a secret

That’s at your discretion, I was told when diagnosed to be carful who I should tell , would it be beneficial to let one know , or will they be hurtful to you by knowing

? Would you recommend me trying to unmask? How do you guys deal with executive dysfunction?

I try not mask anymore, people don’t like me as much . But I don’t care .

Executive dysfunction- that is very hard work , it’s just part of how I operate

There are lots of threads for help on here, lots of personal stories and information. If there is anything I can help with let me know

 

[Thinx]

Hard to say without knowing you or your circumstances. Outside of close and trusted family maybe be very cautious? Just because so many do not understand what the diagnosis means, at all, so you might end up just labelling yourself with something people think means you are like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. A film which was about someone who didn't have autism btw.

Executive function, or the lack of seems to differ for different people, I definitely have some of that, and I use a paper diary to help me remember and to organise myself, and I make lists of tasks, and sometimes, how long they will take. I take it slowly when leaving the house, trying not to rush out, forgetting half the stuff I will need.

 

[Owliet]

I got diagnosed this week and I'd like some tips that could help me understand myself better. Do you guys keep your autism as a secret? Would you recommend me trying to unmask? How do you guys deal with executive dysfunction?

Welcome! I really do suggest finding out as much as you can. ASD differs in various ways for each person. Like the famous saying, if you’ve met one person with ASD, you’ve met one. But understand what the diagnosis means to you, does it help you? Are you in education? Are you struggling to get a job because of your ASD? there are support programs (depending on funding of course) that can be accessed with a diagnosis.

I was diagnosed as a teenager, and it was a really big deal for me to understand at the time. I struggled a lot with it and didn’t really fully accept myself until I went to university. I dont really like people knowing that i have ASD, but sometimes it is not possible and they do know either by their own knowledge or I have to tell them if it’s over something important. So I guess, consider carefully who needs to know and who doesn’t. A lot of people seem to think that ASD means something like what is portrayed in media or that you are extremely disabled.

I don’t know about trying to unmask. I mean, that’s really up to you.

I use a planner and sticky notes to keep me in check.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Masking/camouflaging:
1. Be very careful to whom you reveal yourself to.
2. Sometimes parents and siblings are the least to understand or accept.
3. Sometimes when meeting someone new, it is actually the best time to reveal, as they may be sensing something "off" without really understanding that it is autism.
4. Make sure you have some time/place where you can drop the mask.
5. If you work with the public, it's probably best to keep the mask on.

Executive functioning:
1. Lists you can check off are helpful tools.
2. Get up, get going, and get it done early in the day. Many times you can knock off that list before mid-day.
3. Interruptions in your routine are normal. Always come back to the task list.

General advice:
1. Learn about the medical and psychological model of autism. Understand that autism is a prenatal, genetic, medical condition with secondary psychological and psychiatric aspects. In summary, the behavior is secondary to the anatomy and physiology.
2. Google Scholar, PubMed, Medline search engines are helpful with actual scientific research. I haven't tried ChatGPT yet.
3. Continue to interact on this forum. There are many people that have and are going through much of what you are. Lots of good advice here.

 

[Rodafina]

Hello! Welcome. Good to have you here. I agree with others about learning as much as you can about ASD… both from the science on it, but also from real people with it, like the folks here.

Do you guys keep your autism as a secret?

I wouldn’t say it is a secret, but I also don’t disclose. I haven’t gotten much understanding from the other side when I have tried that. If I do have to communicate something, I try to focus on the impact. Like instead of saying I am autistic, I can say I have a really hard time paying attention to what you’re saying when there are a lot of distractions in the environment around us. Or maybe clarifying with people that I really prefer one to one time over a group situation. Finding language to explain your challenges or possibly present solutions to your challenges to people could be pretty helpful. Like saying, I function much better when I can wear my noise canceling headphones.

Would you recommend me trying to unmask?

I am 42, and I have masked my entire life, and it nearly destroyed me. In my experience, the mask can be useful and sometimes a good idea. But, it is equally important to find plenty of time where you are not wearing the mask. I would argue that it’s best if the mask is a rare exception and you just let your true colors fly the rest of the time.

How do you guys deal with executive dysfunction?

I would say everyone has to find their own system. I am a list maker. The process of writing things down really helps me to keep order. Also, I try to simplify everything… Not have too much stuff, not overly scheduling myself, and maintaining order in my environment.

 

[Alexej]

Hi and welcome @malu1ce

I would read up on autism, and try to see what makes sense to me of what I read. Autism is so many things to so many people, so how it is for you will be different from ho wit is for others.

Are there any groups local to you in Brazil for folk of your age, where you can go and meet live people (as opposed to just interacting on an internet forum)?

 

[malu1ce]

Thank you guys for the answers! I think I'll try telling my closest friends about my ASD, but I'll try to hide it from others. I'm at high school, so I pass most of my time at school, so I'm afraid unmasking will make people see me as weird or something like that, but I guess my mental health is more important, and I get exhausted when I spend too much time with the mask.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Embrace yourself. And remember that most of the language around Autism comes from non-Autistic people, who are describing what they don't experience directly. So don't let that define you unless it feels right.

 

[malu1ce]

Hi and welcome @malu1ce

I would read up on autism, and try to see what makes sense to me of what I read. Autism is so many things to so many people, so how it is for you will be different from ho wit is for others.

Are there any groups local to you in Brazil for folk of your age, where you can go and meet live people (as opposed to just interacting on an internet forum)?

I only know one verbal autistic person where I live, couldn't find any others... And it's very very hard to communicate with non verbal guys, sometimes they don't even know what ASD is (even though they are autistics). Also, it's hard to get a proper diagnostic where I live, it can be very expensive and I'm at a poor region of Brazil, so lots of autistic people never got a diagnostic and sometimes don't even know what ASD really is.

 

[VictorR]

Along with the many stories available here and on many other websites and blogs (search terms might include "new to autism", "just got diagnosed", etc.),

The Autistic Self Advocacy Network has a book (free download) that gives an overview of things in general.

Welcome to the Autistic Community - Autistic Self Advocacy Network

This book is about what it means to be a part of the autistic community. Autistic people wrote this book. Some autistic people are j...

autisticadvocacy.org

 

[grommet]

I got diagnosed this week and I'd like some tips that could help me understand myself better. Do you guys keep your autism as a secret? Would you recommend me trying to unmask? How do you guys deal with executive dysfunction?

My advice is to go slowly. I think it will be a long time while you learn about yourself as autistic and talking to non-autistic people before you better know yourself could end up being confusing for you. You may realize there are some things about you that are masking and some that are who you really are and make changes in how you present yourself. If you told people too soon it could be confusing for them to see you one way then suddenly another.

I hope you will be gentle as you learn more. I read every book I could and I learned a lot but I also found I only identified with some the things other autistic people did. I had to find out who I was.

I suggest you read as much as you can, maybe youtube videos too. Find out about all sorts of autism and autistic people, see where you are in all of it.

 

[Uppity Creek]

I've spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos, and there are some excellent series on there that I feel will greatly enhance your understanding. I would highly recommend searching for your topics of concern.

I've told a handful people about my diagnosis; my mother, who took it well and is supportive (after getting over the concern that someone was going to try now and change me!) My wife, not so supportive; she feels if I'd just snap my fingers in the right way, I'd stop being Autistic (or something like that!) Friends/coworkers I've mentioned were rather indifferent or didn't really know what to say. I even mentioned it in a Facebook post but I think it went over peoples head. Overall, as much as I want to shout it from the rooftop, it's just too awkward a conversation to have.