Issues with emotional arguments

[Greatshield17]

I'm starting to notice that emotional arguments really bother, I tend to get really angry when emotional bullying or emotional blackmail come into play. I won't say what the topic was about, but I was listening to a podcast in which a guy was presenting a certain view and he was presenting it in a way, that really felt like it was a form of emotional bullying and emotional blackmail, and I started getting really angry at the guy. What was interesting was, I had heard the same arguments from another guy on a YouTube video several weeks ago and there, he presented those arguments and the like in a relatively calm, sort of educational and scholarly way, and far from being offended by them, I found them informative and intriguing.

In reflecting on this, I've also noticed that, when my own side, be it political, religious, or cultural, does this sort of thing, I actually start to have these feelings of "yeah take that, show those people who's boss!" This seems to be a real issue for me, does anyone have any advice or comments on this? How do I remain calm and perhaps even respectful when in a situation like this? And how do I communicate and discern in situations where emotions are high?

 

[Misery]

I've also noticed that, when my own side, be it political, religious, or cultural, does this sort of thing, I actually start to have these feelings of "yeah take that, show those people who's boss!"

This is something to be careful of.

There are a lot of people out there... both companies and individuals... who will SPECIFICALLY try to engineer this very reaction in their viewers through manipulative tactics. Why? Because A: it gets them attention, and B: it profits them in many cases. If they can validate or agitate, or both at once, that's a positive for them... and often they couldnt give less of a crap about how the viewer ends up being affected.

In other words: It aint just you. But even knowing that, you have to be careful.

And yes, this absolutely happens with Youtube too.


My advice would be to simply go watch any other bloody thing.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Your reaction sounds familiar. What you may be hearing is designed to inflame one side or another via the creation of an ideological echo chamber where all is heard in some cases are distortions and fabrications. It is the start of tribalist groupthink.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

And how do I communicate and discern in situations where emotions are high?

The best resource I know to do this is "NonViolent Communication":

https://www.amazon.es/Nonviolent-Communication-Compassion-Marshall-Rosenberg/dp/1892005026

 

[Streetwise]

I'm starting to notice that emotional arguments really bother, I tend to get really angry when emotional bullying or emotional blackmail come into play. I won't say what the topic was about, but I was listening to a podcast in which a guy was presenting a certain view and he was presenting it in a way, that really felt like it was a form of emotional bullying and emotional blackmail, and I started getting really angry at the guy. What was interesting was, I had heard the same arguments from another guy on a YouTube video several weeks ago and there, he presented those arguments and the like in a relatively calm, sort of educational and scholarly way, and far from being offended by them, I found them informative and intriguing.

In reflecting on this, I've also noticed that, when my own side, be it political, religious, or cultural, does this sort of thing, I actually start to have these feelings of "yeah take that, show those people who's boss!" This seems to be a real issue for me, does anyone have any advice or comments on this? How do I remain calm and perhaps even respectful when in a situation like this? And how do I communicate and discern in situations where emotions are high?

Ask God who created you to give you calmness and wisdom

 

[Alexej]

While I agree with Streetwise, I am also reminded of the aspect of managing your thoughts.

I recognise that you cannot manage the thoughts that arise in you, but you can decide whether to engage with them. One approach would be to choose not to engage with the thoughts that are riling you.

However, this is easier said than done, so an approach is consciously to choose to think of something else - for example a prayer that you know by heart, the Hail Mary, the Jesus Prayer. For those who are not religious, you can try to recite some poetry which you have learnt.

 

[Kalinychta]

I suppose it’s a skill like any other. It just takes practice to step back and calm yourself when you feel yourself becoming emotionally involved in an argument. And I think we’re all guilty of this. It’s great that you actually notice it in yourself and want to change. Most people don’t.