Is it weird that I've considered that my chances of making friends are close to zero, that I've considered maybe not trying to look for more friends?

[Slime_Punk]

Having friends sounds like a huge commitment and loads of upkeep to add to the pile in today's world, so I've never really understood it. It seems like you need to invest your time (and unfortunately in our world, money, even if it's just paying your own way / gas / transit) to hang out with them.

I have an ever-growing family, multiple siblings, a spouse and some acquaintances (through others, since I'm pretty spiky myself if I'm not too careful, borrowing @Misery's term for it), so maybe my very small 'sociability' cup is just full all the time as it is, especially since I've recently vowed to spend more time with the important people in my life.

But in short, it's not weird. Today's world can just be like that sometimes.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I thought I had friends but they ended up all being acquaintances. I found out last Thursday night that I have no friends. I been wanting to be in an relationship for years now. Praying for it. Going to church every week. Going to groups. Socializing. Mostly being ignored. Only encounter couples, old people. No friends. I am giving up on life.

 

[Fino]

If you stop looking, you may feel better, just don't prevent it if it comes to you.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I thought I had friends but they ended up all being acquaintances. I found out last Thursday night that I have no friends. I been wanting to be in an relationship for years now. Praying for it. Going to church every week. Going to groups. Socializing. Mostly being ignored. Only encounter couples, old people. No friends. I am giving up on life.

There's a lot less stress in life when people are of little importance and you stop thinking about it. Sure, have fun moments with acquaintances, but if they don't interact with you, be quick to move on and not take it personally. The worst thing is to get distressed about some sort of perceived rejection. Social bonding is a two-way street. If you can't bond with them, they can't bond with you. You can still have an experience together, but it's not dependent upon being friends. People are around us all the time, and for the most part, unless I am in a situation where I must interact with them (work, ordering at a restaurant, bank teller, whatever,...) people are just objects to navigate through and around. They aren't of any importance to me.

Having said that, my life, my calling, has been helping other people, whether it be working at the hospital or at the university. I love the "work". I need a purpose in life. I need to be responsible for something. I enjoy the giving. This is the key to my optimism and happiness in life. It certainly isn't dependent upon friendships with people.

If there is any advice that I could give you it would be to find something that you can do for others that you love to do and can give you a purpose in life, a responsibility, and give you the little rewards in life that keep you going. You might also be surprised when someone who didn't think anything of you, starts noticing you because they are now recognizing what kind of giving person you are, and might be interested in knowing you at a deeper level.

 

[Misty Avich]

It's not weird. Just a personal choice. You do what works for you.

 

[Rodafina]

I think online friends are the best kind of friends. It is easy to speak through the computer as compared to face-to-face, the friendships can happen at a time that is good for both people, there is no confusing figuring out how to spend time together.

With the Internet now such a major part of many people’s lives, I think online friends are the answer for many of us who struggle with socializing.

For me, a few friends from the Internet cured my loneliness and desire for connection, and they do not caused me the same confounding anxiety that real life friends have done.

I do not have a need to spend time with people, and so Internet friendships are the best kind for me. Even for those few online friends that I have met in real life, the bulk of the relationship grows over the Internet. The validity and the value of these relationships is not at all reduced simply because they occur mostly online.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I genuinely love being nice to everyone. Trying to be a friend to everyone. Helping strangers, sharing smiles.

But when it comes to actively attempting making new friends- new close relationships- I think, "Why would I need new ones? I adore the ones I have."

That's not to say that I don't welcome new friends. I just don't try and make new close relationships. I have not ever been able to. I am very afraid of having my heart hurt.

Every friend I've ever made has been the other person befriending me. It's the most wonderful feeling, like sparkles in my soul, when I realize someone out there likes me, and wants to spend time with me. Because I have been alone so long. It brings sunshine in. All of a sudden everything is so bright, the moment someone talks to me, and cares. And then they come back!? Wow! I feel so happy. And they come back again? I am still trembly inside, but I send out the first tendril of trust. And as a person comes back again and again, I start to dare to hope that this will be forever.

Strangers pass me and while they seem kind, they don't pay much attention. And that's okay. It's lonely, but I like nature a lot, and quiet thought. I am best able to put all my energy into the micro rather than the macro. For instance, while I can't solve all the factors that cause homelessness, I can reach in my grocery bag and give the bottle of apple juice that I just bought for my family instead to the thirsty homeless person outside the grocery store. That kind of thing.

I am very shy in real life. And what energy I have is dedicated to making the close relationships I have, as happy as possible. i like doing things for those I love. Making their lives better. Making them smile. Letting them know how much I truly love and need them, and how special they are.

It's okay that I make friends slowly. I love slow. I trust slow. But once I love, it's forever.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I am so conflicted my head hurts. I reached out to my acquaintances about an earlier bad instant after yoga class this morning that triggered a decades old bad phobia I been suffering with (Zomaiphobia) and they all reached out like friends and want me to come to life group to talk. Even that woman that was rude in the text said not to give up and to keep believing.

 

[Shamar]

I've had very little success at making friends so I've considered not trying to look for more friends. Is that weird?

I stopped looking for friends in college. Pretty much just gave up on socializing.

 

[Cryptid]

I stopped looking for friends in college. Pretty much just gave up on socializing.

I went to college to earn my degree, not to acquire friends. All of my friends were made after college.