Inappropriate Social Behaviour

[Dias]

My case is beyond repair.
Can't answer this yet...I am over thinking...
My interaction with other people is so little that I don't know enough to answer this question.
I never thought I was one of these people who live in their own world, but maybe that's exactly what I am
What does this mean? Help

 

[Clueless in Canada]

My case is beyond repair.
Can't answer this yet...I am over thinking...
My interaction with other people is so little that I don't know enough to answer this question.
I never thought I was one of these people who live in their own world, but maybe that's exactly what I am
What does this mean? Help

I am not qualified to tell you what it means but it is my opinion that if you are an extreme loner and happy that way then it does not matter. It is also my understanding that one variation within the autistic group is that some will be quite unaware of their social awkwardness and others very aware and even ashamed. I fall closer to the latter which is apparently more typical of female autism.

 

[Aspychata]

I am not qualified to tell you what it means but it is my opinion that if you are an extreme loner and happy that way then it does not matter. It is also my understanding that one variation within the autistic group is that some will be quite unaware of their social awkwardness and others very aware and even ashamed. I fall closer to the latter which is apparently more typical of female autism.

Being alone doesn't bother me, it's very rare l meet someone that really is interesting. l don't feel the need to be with someone if l truly have no interest in them. But the people l have really liked, usually it's mutual, and it's extremely satisfying our interaction, those once in a lifetime connections. Otherwise being alone is satisfying.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

Being alone doesn't bother me, it's very rare l meet someone that really is interesting. l don't feel the need to be with someone if l truly have no interest in them. But the people l have really liked, usually it's mutual, and it's extremely satisfying our interaction, those once in a lifetime connections. Otherwise being alone is satisfying.

I agree that for some of us being alone is just fine. That's why I think the important factor is not whether or not someone is alone, but whether or not they are okay with it or happy that way.

 

[Gracey]

...
I never thought I was one of these people who live in their own world, ...

I like ghosting and living in my own head for a spell,

It’s like going on holiday or taking a short vacation,
Without the expense, fuss, stress or piles of clothes that need washing.


And just like going on holiday,
I always have to return home again.
(Reality)

 

[Aspychata]

I like ghosting and living in my own head for a spell,

It’s like going on holiday or taking a short vacation,
Without the expense, fuss, stress or piles of clothes that need washing.


And just like going on holiday,
I always have to return home again.
(Reality)

That is a great response, a stress free holiday, lol

 

[Gracey]

That is a great response, a stress free holiday, lol

In the absence of other coping mechanisms at the moment, it works for me.

I know where I am and what I’m doing and that I have to rejoin reality at some point...
... as much as I’d like to rattle around in my own head permanently

 

[Aspychata]

We probably could ghost the human race, just float around in pods, lol, without any cares.

 

[Aspychata]

I am not qualified to tell you what it means but it is my opinion that if you are an extreme loner and happy that way then it does not matter. It is also my understanding that one variation within the autistic group is that some will be quite unaware of their social awkwardness and others very aware and even ashamed. I fall closer to the latter which is apparently more typical of female autism.

It's just that loner has such a negative connotation, it's like you are the unibomber weirdo social outcast and people don't understand that loners are artistic, writers, inventors......

 

[Sarah S]

I'm sure this has already been discussed somewhere but I've not encountered it yet. The autistic stereotype is inappropriately under-responding, but do some of you sometimes over-respond? Are you sometimes too friendly or too touchy-feely? In what situations does this happen to you?

ALL the time on ALL accounts (incl the manage to interrupting others when we talk etc ......

 

[Dias]

I think I am just a loner and becoming happier with it.
My awkwardness is my silence, that makes people feel uncomfortable because their mind starts imagining all kinds of things about me, people distrust what they don't know.
But other than that I don't do anything that can put attention on me, quite the opposite, I try to be invisible as much as possible .
It happened sometimes that I was sitting by myself and I could observe other people talking and laughing and I would think: wow, these people look so happy and so interested in the conversation, they must be very intelligent and knowledgeable and very good people... maybe I join them at their table and try to make friends...I always ended up disappointed. And so, maybe I am arrogant, but I decided that I don't want to waste time with things and people that don't add anything positive and new to my life. I just decided to remain alone.
I know that by doing this maybe I am losing the chance to know someone really great, but I feel better now that I accepted this and I am getting to know myself and the things I like and need as opposed to what others do and need.
Maybe when I become more self confident I will come out of my cave but for now I stay like this.
But if you want to know: when I imagine the things I would do with a friend if I had one, I can say I guess I would behave also in very strange ways

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I over respond to loud noises or things that upset me, to the point that other people might think I'm weird. And I over respond to touch. I HATE people patting me on the back or shoulder. I've been known to slap my dad or siblings if they touch me like that. I have two modes: Super energetic, talking my head off and annoying everyone in the room, and super quiet, absorbed in my own little world.

I have those same two modes! I also hate being tapped on. My mother does it all the time cause I have my ear buds in the protect me from worldly noises that torture me. When she constantly comes in and taps on me, it annoys me to the point I jump or grunt in frustration cause I feel like I'm being invaded of privacy, andand the way she taps makes me feel like I've done something wrong to get her mad. I guess it's just a sensory thing cause I've ALWAYS HATED being tapped on or touching certain textures! I couldn't stand it!

 

[Clueless in Canada]

ALL the time on ALL accounts (incl the man

Me too.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

It's just that loner has such a negative connotation, it's like you are the unibomber weirdo social outcast and people don't understand that loners are artistic, writers, inventors......

I know what you mean but maybe we need to take back the term and be proud of it. We will never be able to stop people from being ignorant and saying stupid things. I am frustrated by that all the time! But I am not going to let anyone take away from me my right to be a happy and not-dangerous loner.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I think I am just a loner and becoming happier with it.

I always think it is better to reserve my energy for people who are worth it and my definition of worth it now includes accepting me as I am which might mean sitting silently and looking weird, or excitedly interrupting them when we are conversing because I do both of those! I would rather be alone than with the wrong person.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

I'm sure this has already been discussed somewhere but I've not encountered it yet. The autistic stereotype is inappropriately under-responding, but do some of you sometimes over-respond? Are you sometimes too friendly or too touchy-feely? In what situations does this happen to you?

Yes. I sometimes over-respond or under-respond depending on the situation. I think I am a bit too friendly/touchy-feely sometimes. I am working on that, tho.

 

[Clueless in Canada]

Yes. I sometimes over-respond or under-respond depending on the situation. I think I am a bit too friendly/touchy-feely sometimes. I am working on that, tho.

I have to be careful with the touching as I have definitely startled some people by patting them on the arm. Strangers. LOL I have no idea why I do it. Although I have some touch issues myself I am not bothered by fairly impersonal touch. Long before I realised that I am on the spectrum I had a student who was and he hated being touched but I was always putting my hand on his shoulder. I felt so awful about it but couldn't seem to stop. It is actually something teachers are taught to do with many students because some don't realise you are speaking to them and cannot focus unless you touch them. With 30 kids in a class it gets difficult to remember who to touch and who not to touch. This poor boy would flinch when touched.

Do you get confused about the hugging thing? I don't mind hugs and have learned that in some cases people expect them but sometimes I go in for the hug and sense it is not quite appropriate but am committed so now I am stuck awkwardly hugging someone. Arrggh!!

 

[Dias]

I don't know what happened but I only wrote the first sentence.
About the quote that Clueless in Canada made of me.

 

[Aspychata]

I have to be careful with the touching as I have definitely startled some people by patting them on the arm. Strangers. LOL I have no idea why I do it. Although I have some touch issues myself I am not bothered by fairly impersonal touch. Long before I realised that I am on the spectrum I had a student who was and he hated being touched but I was always putting my hand on his shoulder. I felt so awful about it but couldn't seem to stop. It is actually something teachers are taught to do with many students because some don't realise you are speaking to them and cannot focus unless you touch them. With 30 kids in a class it gets difficult to remember who to touch and who not to touch. This poor boy would flinch when touched.

Do you get confused about the hugging thing? I don't mind hugs and have learned that in some cases people expect them but sometimes I go in for the hug and sense it is not quite appropriate but am committed so now I am stuck awkwardly hugging someone. Arrggh!!

l try to be more careful about touch
, l have good and bad days as such, sometimes l recoil, sometimes l brush off unwanted touch. l try to be careful in my interactions with the older clientele l deal with

 

[Clueless in Canada]

I don't know what happened but I only wrote the first sentence.
About the quote that Clueless in Canada made of me.

Probably my fault. I was having a very bad brain day yesterday. LOL Only slightly better today.