I'm a plague to women who are not married.

[Tired]

One thing that’s been bothering me, and I have to ask… what’s the deal with the gang symbology as your avatar?
Who are you with? What is the significance of your 1% avatar if it’s not gang related?

If you are not linked to a biker gang why are you displaying the 1% symbol? Are you aware that 1% is a criminal “brag” about being an “outlaw” and a murderer?

This is what it means in most larger areas like yours (and mine), where the Hells Angels and Mongols are. If you didn’t know this already consider yourself warned and informed now.

Do you wear a 1% logo in public, or have it tatted on your skin? If so that is extremely dangerous for you if an MC sees you like that. In addition, anyone who knows about 1% is going to assume the worst and WILL treat you like a plague.

IF your 1% avatar is repping something entirely different than I have asked about, perhaps reconsider its use. Clubs react to false flags with extreme prejudice and violence. I have heard some depressing stories about people falsely repping a club in my county, and what happened to them. The ones that survive NEVER make that mistake again.

It's about him having 1% odds of finding a single female friend, or so he tells himself.

 

[Judge]

One thing that’s been bothering me, and I have to ask… what’s the deal with the gang symbology as your avatar?
Who are you with? What is the significance of your 1% avatar if it’s not gang related

Tony's interpretation of what one percent means to him is very different than what you or I would be referring to. Though I suspect both of us would rather see him choose another symbol to express his frustration.

Good to see ya again, Rocco. Still painting, I hope.

 

[Rocco]

Good to see ya again, Rocco. Still painting, I hope.

Good to see you too! I see quite a few familiar names around here still and it is a joy to see! I am still painting, just started again in the last few weeks after a lengthy break.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

It's about him having 1% odds of finding a single female friend, or so he tells himself.

I got tired of seeing my ugly disgusting face. Also those odds are true until I die which is taking forever to happen.

 

[Rocco]

I got tired of seeing my ugly disgusting face. Also those odds are true until I die which is taking forever to happen.

With that attitude you will NEVER find someone to share your life with. Would you want to be with someone that had your perspective and attitude? Probably not.
You are manifesting your own discontent. “Be the change you want to see in the world”

What you are failing to see is that your outlook/attitude/ and the personality you display are TOXIC and poisonous. No one wants those qualities in a partner. You project negativity and hostility like it’s your job to do so. It is extremely unhealthy for you, everyone around you, and the fellow forum members here. I am making an effort to help you, and to help you see what you are doing wrong. This video might be helpful. This guy in the video has some fantastic points and perspective. I have seen a few of his other videos that also have great info on how things happen unconsciously.

 

[tree]

I got tired of seeing my ugly disgusting face. Also those odds are true until I die which is taking forever to happen.

You are so disappointed.
Telling yourself mean stories doesn't help.

I think *the odds* are another story you're telling yourself,
not the result of mathematical computation of variables.

 

[Misery]

You probably aint gonna listen, but I'm gonna say this anyway.

Over time, two simple facts have been displayed:

1. Every now and then you do something positive, take some sort of positive step, and something good happens. After this you'll have a period where you're less frustrated and angry. You've already shown this happen multiple times now (wheras previously, you NEVER let it happen... that is progress). This, now, is the first of two options, the one that allows progress and improvement.

2. You can allow frustration to take over. You blame everyone else... accomplishing nothing... and you just post complaints about how the world is against you... accomplishing nothing. You make no changes, accept no responsibility, and only bad things happen. This is now the second of two options, the one that denies progress and improvement.

At this point you *must* choose one of those two options. This is not avoidable. After you do that, regardless of the result, this exact choice will present itself again. Again it will be unavoidable. This will keep happening. Over, and over, and over. No matter how much you may complain, no matter how you try to deflect the blame, or curse those around you, or make these "woe is me" topics, the first of the two options will always result in bad. The only way to get a good result is to choose the second option.

I must stress that you are not the only one who has to deal with this exact pair of choices, this exact loop. I've been through it myself, for so much longer than I want to think about. It wasnt about relationships, as I've zero interest in that, it was about other things. I chose option 1 over and over. Nothing useful happened until I started choosing option 2. My old loop finally broke. It was hard... it was *very* hard. Option 2 is always hard in some way. But still, it was the only way.

If I can break my own negative loop, even with just how far I'd fallen, you can break yours.

But until you choose that second option (many times, not just once... you cant do it only once and expect to magically get what you want, it doesnt work that way), I will stress: YOU WILL NOT GET WHAT YOU ARE AFTER.

That's all there is to it.

I would love to see you succeed. But I cant make it happen for you. YOU have to do it.

 

[paloftoon]

When you have burnouts or meltdowns, do you react a certain way that other people would notice? Sometimes I wonder if I do this and turn people off on a rare? occasion or so. People can tell by your mannerisms if they are interested in you or not. Being in your 40s and living with your family, if people can sense that your family is taking care of you instead of you taking care of them, this is something that would not be attractive to most single women.

You need to build up to get a good job if you want the women I think you desire.

Either that, or you're looking in the wrong places. You have mentioned church so many times. Maybe an interest group off of meetup.com, a social group for autistic people, or volunteer helping out at a shelter and maybe meet fellow volunteers there. I even want to say get to know the homeless people served there on a deeper level, but I suspect that with you living your family, your family would not approve even if you do. . ..

 

[Uri]

People tell me that I should work on my personality and that personality is more important than just attractive looks in a woman.

But personally I find it hard to believe that personality is more important than looks to women.

I think we are all lookist to some degree and that's because I think that almost everyone can tell the difference between an attractive and unattractive person, regardless of how attractive they are themselves.

Also based on what I read on evolutionary biology and I do read a lot on human biology (including human prehistory), human history was never based on good personalities but has almost everything to do with genetics.

 

[Mary Terry]

People tell me that I should work on my personality and that personality is more important than just attractive looks in a woman.

But personally I find it hard to believe that personality is more important than looks to women.

I think we are all lookist to some degree and that's because I think that almost everyone can tell the difference between an attractive and unattractive person, regardless of how attractive they are themselves.

Also based on what I read on evolutionary biology and I do read a lot on human biology (including human prehistory), human history was never based on good personalities but has almost everything to do with genetics.

An attractive appearance can get you noticed when you first meet, but everyone knows that looks fade. That's why personality is important in any relationship.

 

[Kayla55]

I can go to a thousand different places with the same damn outcome except I will end up with more burnouts and meltdowns.

Insanity was described by someone as doing same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Perhaps more social experience will land you girlfriend one day, maybe need to watch TV or work on communication style. Most people fail relationships and need self evaluation and learn to put effort in to sustain relationship, so we all had learning curve.
What am I saying, try friends, less desperado you come on, better. Maybe it's not that it's just social skills, pick up lines, conversing.

 

[Kayla55]

I'm just throwing stone at this to see reaction, but
We can't all date Claudia Schiffer, so instead yoga class, try chatting to quiet, nice girl as friends, don't push for date. See if she's responsive. Bet you she isn't getting as much attention, either. And experience, even if she doesn't end up being the one, it's experience for both of you and from this you may learn to judge what women are looking for in a guy.
Honestly there many hopeless normal guys who use money/car to get girl, so don't judge you too harshly.
I'm throwing stone, to try decipher what's issue

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I did watch TV shows and those horrible YouTube videos they made things worse. A Monk leaving in isolation 90-year-old has better women invites than those losers. Because of there advice I thought women were flirting with me until later they mentioned boyfriends or husbands. I want them all to shut down and get banned.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

When you have burnouts or meltdowns, do you react a certain way that other people would notice? Sometimes I wonder if I do this and turn people off on a rare? occasion or so. People can tell by your mannerisms if they are interested in you or not. Being in your 40s and living with your family, if people can sense that your family is taking care of you instead of you taking care of them, this is something that would not be attractive to most single women.

You need to build up to get a good job if you want the women I think you desire.

Either that, or you're looking in the wrong places. You have mentioned church so many times. Maybe an interest group off of meetup.com, a social group for autistic people, or volunteer helping out at a shelter and maybe meet fellow volunteers there. I even want to say get to know the homeless people served there on a deeper level, but I suspect that with you living your family, your family would not approve even if you do. . ..

yeah, i don't understand or get why Tony has not really tried to get even a basic job over the past 20 plus years, he has been unemployed for most of his life, he says he hasn't worked since 2001, and i think he worked that job for less than a year, i don't understand why he has not tried to get basic jobs such as at a grocery store, restaurant, retail, jobs that don't require college education, a part of me thinks he has always been very lazy.

 

[paloftoon]

yeah, i don't understand or get why Tony has not really tried to get even a basic job over the past 20 plus years, he has been unemployed for most of his life, he says he hasn't worked since 2001, and i think he worked that job for less than a year, i don't understand why he has not tried to get basic jobs such as at a grocery store, restaurant, retail, jobs that don't require college education, a part of me thinks he has always been very lazy.

I can understand Tony's urges for a woman.
But because he is either lazy or not trying to get the support services necessary to work a job, and/or isn't trying to apply for jobs (if he has, he hasn't shown indication of this (lately) ), he is trying to look for women in all the wrong places. As I'd recommended before, he could try to look for women in a homeless shelter or maybe a retirement home. I feel like people in that desperate of a situation would be comparable to Tony's current situation, or with elderly people, they only have so long to live and many older people would enjoy being with a younger person as a partner.

I also understand that Tony might not be attracted to those types either. But since you can't do the work for a job for the people you are typically attracted to, you need to work on yourself to be more open to who you can be attracted to.

 

[DrBadStrings]

Get some professional help Tony. This obsession you have with Women is not healthy. They are not objects that owe you their time, or their intimacy. The world is not against you, and neither are the people on this forum. I don't say this lightly but you really need some help. From your tone and what you write I worry you may do something harmful to yourself that could be permanent. You're not going to out think this on your own, and we are not professionals here. But that is what you really really need.

 

[velociraptor]

I want them all to shut down and get banned.

You want anyone you don't agree with silenced? I think I understand part of your socialization issues.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

You want anyone you don't agree with silenced? I think I understand part of your socialization issues.

No it's not that their advice is really bad you really sucks it is really bad advice anyone to listen to.

 

[velociraptor]

No it's not that their advice is really bad you really sucks it is really bad advice anyone to listen to.

Please post some links as I'm curious.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I think I created this post with my catastrophic thinking again. At the morning church yes PSCC I am so welcomed it's the one I felt ostracized. I even meet the couples two female friends. One is married with kids but the other is not. We hung out a bit today since they came to our after church life group. The other one even remembered me from starting point where I thought she ostracized me. They even talked to me especially the non married one. I was so nervous I was googling mild autism talking to women with not much help.

They came to our life group were I meet other people. They all pretty much greet me even when I enter the building now. It's like everywhere else.

If women were repulse by me then why would they say if you want to come with us to hang out.