I'm a plague to women who are not married.

[Steelbookcollector217]

i read this comment somewhere, it said "The problem is a lot of men on the spectrum unknowingly "harass" or bother, make a woman uncomfortable, not out of bad intent but social ineptitude."

Sadly a harsh truth, and it makes it more enraging and infuritating because, we know the double-standard, that women normally don't risk harassing or making men uncomfortable, creeping out like men do, it makes sense that its like that, because men are on average, physically bigger and stronger than women, so men can be perceived as a danger or threat to women, and at the same time, how nature and reality dictates that for all time, men are the ones that have to make advances on a woman.

Another reminder that i'm not afraid to admit or think a lot over the years, i'm sure lots of men feel this way, that we hate how unfair it is to be a man at times.

 

[Mary Terry]

@Tony Ramirez - How old are these women who you are trying to socialize with? I recommend you stick with women your age (47 years), not twenty-somethings. I think your chances of finding a friendly single woman are better if you seek socialization with people your own age. It would be even better if you seek socialization at an autism meetup event rather than at places predominately occupied by NT people.

Meanwhile, have you contacted a therapist? Applied for a BET card? Cooked your first meal for yourself? Applied for a job? Have you made any progress on moving forward with your life?

 

[tree]

What's a BET card?

 

[Mary Terry]

What's a BET card?

Food stamps.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I knew I would get hate here and it's my fault as usual from the same damn people except the few who I IM here personally who knows what I go through you know thanks.

 

[tree]

Food stamps.

I think that's EBT.

Spoiler

In my state: SNAP benefits are provided through an Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) Card that you can use like a debit card. In Michigan, the SNAP EBT card is called a “Bridge Card.” SNAP benefit amounts are evaluated yearly and are based on household size. In New York: SNAP Benefits - HRA

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I want to jump off a goddamn bridge and you people make me feel worse. It's me. Women hate me plane and simple. I am ready to do that or run in traffic so they can look in there resting faces and laugh at me.

 

[honeytoast]

What's the hate?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

What's the hate?

Because everyone blames me and says it's my fault that women walk away and treat me like garbage. Like I am a middle-aged unemployed predator and they have the right to do so. That I keep saying that is social events for all ages but no I am singled out yet others who look like damn hobo's bums serial killers with tats up the Ying Yang they approach and befriend dammit.

 

[Mary Terry]

I think that's EBT.

Spoiler

In my state: SNAP benefits are provided through an Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) Card that you can use like a debit card. In Michigan, the SNAP EBT card is called a “Bridge Card.” SNAP benefit amounts are evaluated yearly and are based on household size. In New York: SNAP Benefits - HRA

You're right. My dyslexia attacked again. Sorry!

 

[Mary Terry]

I want to jump off a goddamn bridge and you people make me feel worse. It's me. Women hate me plane and simple. I am ready to do that or run in traffic so they can look in there resting faces and laugh at me.

What is a "resting face"? I've never heard of that.

 

[Rodafina]

Because everyone blames me and says it's my fault that women walk away and treat me like garbage.

@Tony Ramirez
Another way to think about it is people are trying to help you.

It sounds like you are telling yourself that people's advice is equal to blaming and calling you a predator.

I like to tell myself that people's advice shows that they care about me and are willing to try to understand and help.

Sometimes getting feedback from others is uncomfortable, but it can also be helpful if we are brave enough to really listen. That's what the forum is for - trying our best to help each other, not tear each other down.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I don't think the mods would allow the wiki link you can Google "resting face".

 

[Mary Terry]

I don't think the mods would allow the wiki link you can Google "resting face".

That's a new one to me. It's unfortunate that some people's faces do not convey what they are really thinking or feeling. I have a friend whose "resting face" always looks angry. It's not her fault that her lips naturally turn downwards like a frown instead of upwards like a smile. It's just how her face is made.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

No I see them smile at Patricia and at other men and women even in churches social gatherings but when they look at me there face can make a baby cry. It sucks and I am sick and damn tired of it.

I am starting now to sit as far away even if it means standing waiting for a seat and looking away but I do glance by accident but they almost always give me that damn face and it pisses me off.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I have also been wearing my glasses much less as a near sighted person and only in places where I am not ostracized which is basically now only in Hope Community Church or when hanging out with Patricia and her family.

 

[Rocco]

A few questions for you Tony… these are all first impression related questions to try to narrow down why you are spooking women

Are you in any sort of therapy?
Are you actively working on gaining a more positive outlook?
Are your clothes clean and smelling fresh? Are your clothes wrinkly? What condition are your shoes?
Is your face clean shaven or with hair? (Is the hair properly groomed?
How’s your breath?
What does your resting face look like? (Are you showing your inner negative feelings on your face unconsciously?)
How close do you sit next to someone you cold approach? ( Directly next to, one or two chairs away? A row in front?)

I see a lot of folks genuinely concerned and trying to help, and I see you quickly adopting a defensive position. I have not seen anyone attack you or direct hate at you. My first impression is reading a lot of negativity and most women can sense this instinctually. It sets off internal alarms and danger signs.

Based on my dating, relationship, and life experience I would say you are nowhere near ready to date or offer anything positive to a woman until you learn to respect and love yourself.

I hope this helps and you can recognize it comes from a place of compassion.

 

[Misery]

Because everyone blames me and says it's my fault that women walk away and treat me like garbage. Like I am a middle-aged unemployed predator and they have the right to do so.

Seriously, where are you getting this from? I look through this thread and there's none of that. Everyone's just trying to help.

Have you considered taking a break? Like, putting the screen/device down for, say, 2-3 days, keeping to a quiet area, maybe going for a walk, just to sort of cool down? I usually call it an "internet detox", though I generally put every device down for a couple of days when I do it, not just internet-connected things.

I dont know about you, but when I'm already in an agitated state from something else, internet / screen time really, really doesnt help. It can just make it worse without me even realizing it's happening. Heck, it can make positive thing seem negative sometimes, for some reason. That's what the "detox" is for, to unwind some of that tension that it can cause. Or at least that's the concept anyway. One of those things I think more people should try from time to time.

 

[FilterFreq]

I think the women sense that you're just talking to them because, "Oh my god! A woman walked into the room!".

I get that these things can become obsessions, but you might want to talk to a professional before this escalates. No offense, but you're like all the red flags people warn others about. It's no wonder why they're trying to feel safer when they're dealing with someone with that level of grandiosity and intensity.

Once you can just chill a little, people will absolutely love you for who you are. But sometimes it takes some work to just chill a little. Maybe even forming friendships with other guys in the meantime could help because the whole 'friends with a woman' issue wouldn't be as prevalent.

 

[Rocco]

One thing that’s been bothering me, and I have to ask… what’s the deal with the gang symbology as your avatar?
Who are you with? What is the significance of your 1% avatar if it’s not gang related?

If you are not linked to a biker gang why are you displaying the 1% symbol? Are you aware that 1% is a criminal “brag” about being an “outlaw” and a murderer?

This is what it means in most larger areas like yours (and mine), where the Hells Angels and Mongols are. If you didn’t know this already consider yourself warned and informed now.

Do you wear a 1% logo in public, or have it tatted on your skin? If so that is extremely dangerous for you if an MC sees you like that. In addition, anyone who knows about 1% is going to assume the worst and WILL treat you like a plague.

IF your 1% avatar is repping something entirely different than I have asked about, perhaps reconsider its use. Clubs react to false flags with extreme prejudice and violence. I have heard some depressing stories about people falsely repping a club in my county, and what happened to them. The ones that survive NEVER make that mistake again.

Spoiler