I'm a plague to women who are not married.

[Tony Ramirez]

No joking. I am serious now. No crap. I am so depressed.

Whenever I even just try to sit next to a woman anywhere she gets up and leaves. She will give me that resting face too. This is in all social events where people suppose to socialize. I even try to talk to them and they will either ignore me give me two word conversations then ignore me. Seeing them again they would even go as far as have an vendetta against me like one did and kick me out of a church cleaning crew just by trying to talk to her.

Then only married women would actually be friends and talk to me in every social place. They would be my most supportive even going as far as giving me free food going places that they pay with there family and consoling.

There is something terrible wrong with me

 

[Aspychata]

So sorry to read this. l wish l could take you shopping and up your MOJO, give you some swagger. Get a cat tattoo, or dye your hair a cool color. Just give you some game. Personal style helps. l upped my partner's style. Just neat teeshirts, urban shorts, lightweight sneakers.
We just replaced his huge bulging wallet with a slim down version. Sometimes you gotta up your game.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

It would not make a damn difference. Sorry. I am disgusting to women. Only women in relationships approach and befriend me like you, for example.

 

[thejuice]

There is something terrible wrong with me

It's the autism, it's a social handicap we have to work around.

 

[thejuice]

Aspychata's suggestion would help with first impression, you would be surprised at how quickly we decide if someone is worth talking to or not (fractions of a second probably)

 

[Tony Ramirez]

It's the autism, it's a social handicap we have to work around.

So married women feel sorry for us. If it was not for their support, I would be in a mental hospital now. I know two have my back.

Then why do other women treat us like yesterday's garbage when we just walk in the room?

 

[thejuice]

If I could tell you the answer I 'd be a very rich man

 

[FayetheAspie]

So sorry to read this. l wish l could take you shopping and up your MOJO, give you some swagger. Get a cat tattoo, or dye your hair a cool color. Just give you some game. Personal style helps. l upped my partner's style. Just neat teeshirts, urban shorts, lightweight sneakers.
We just replaced his huge bulging wallet with a slim down version. Sometimes you gotta up your game.

Not necessarily. Just speaking of my own personal opinion and preferences, I do not like tattoos or hair dye that is not a shade that occurs naturally.It is better to be your self instead of trying to fit a certain style. Different people like different things and if someone only likes you because they think your personality, likes and dislikes, ect.are something different from what they really are, it would likely lead to problems in the relationship later.

 

[thejuice]

So married women feel sorry for us. If it was not for their support, I would be in a mental hospital now. I know two have my back.

It probably isn't feeling sorry for you. Maybe the married women are wise enough to know what you have to offer.

 

[Judge]

Then why do other women treat us like yesterday's garbage when we just walk in the room?

Because they have heard things about you from their single friends perspective. That's what I tried to tell you about events with people in groups who know each other. When couples will treat you like a person while singles "who got the word" treat you terribly.

Horribly unfair- even cruel, but that's what can happen when people get together in "a pack" and follow their "alpha". Which could be happening behind your back.

The question is, what are they saying about you to cause them to avoid you like that? Too bad you couldn't confide to one of those kinder married women to get them to find out what the single women may be saying or thinking about you. Would you be willing to risk that?

The answer might not help you with that group of people, but if you do get the actual answer, perhaps it might be useful with future encounters with other people.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

They heard crap. Some of these places were new. Bran damn new starting over yet again and yet again a waste of damn time. Stop putting me down yet again.

I can move to another city where no one knows me, and I guarantee 100% the same crap will happen.

 

[Judge]

I can move to another city where no one knows me, and I guarantee 100% the same crap will happen.

Perhaps, if everyone you meet already knows everyone else. You don't necessarily want to try another city, but try venues where people aren't likely to be in groups and familiar with one another. A social dynamic that likely puts you at a disadvantage, especially considering you have no problem interacting with married women compared to single ones.

Though I think the most important thing is to get at whatever it is those single women are thinking given how they treat you so differently. Something perhaps a married person might be willing to explain in confidence to you.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

No, the married couples they interact and come to me understand that. I try to interact with the other women. They walk away, shun my ass resting face and two word or ignore me then I feel like crap and no they never meet me.

 

[Judge]

No, the married couples they interact and come to me understand that. I try to interact with the other women. They walk away, shun my ass resting face and two word or ignore me then I feel like crap and no they never meet me.

Then ASK them (married women) what it is that single women reject in even talking to you. Get it?

You have more to gain than to lose by asking, provided they will be honest with you. Especially when a group of married and single women actually know each other.

 

[NB79]

I haven't had any prospect or hint that a relationship with a woman could happen, that i just gave up for now, try to do something you like and enjoy that could enrich you, instead of obsessing over women i would say, anyway a lot of times even if you get married things are not 'rose colored' and there is issues, and God forbid you marry a bad person you would be better alone.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Then ASK them (married women) what it is that single women reject in even talking to you. Get it?

I asked them that and they are baffled. My closest are trying to help. One really is so sad for me and she showed it even cries for me but does not understand.

 

[FayetheAspie]

@NB79 That basic sentiment sounds like good advice for men and women alike.

 

[Judge]

I haven't had any prospect or hint that a relationship with a woman could happen, that i just gave up for now, try to do something you like and enjoy that could enrich you, instead of obsessing over women i would say, anyway a lot of times even if you get married things are not 'rose colored' and there is issues, and God forbid you marry a bad person you would be better alone.

That's essentially my story years ago at the age of 49. Haven't had another relationship since...and I'm doing ok, becoming accustomed to living a life mostly by myself. I keep busy, that's for sure.

But then I suspect this is the story for many of us on the spectrum.

 

[Judge]

I asked them that and they are baffled. My closest are trying to help. One really is so sad for me and she showed it even cries for me but does not understand.

In as tough as things may be for you Tony, it's a blessing to know that there are people who care about you. So whatever it is that bugs single women is not something that defines you as a "bad person". Take heart in that.

But that is disturbing that they too are baffled. Though have you ever considered that your social approach with known married women may be different than when you interact with single women? I know for a fact in my own case, my demeanor could be very different with a friend rather than simply a single female that attracted me. Never being at ease with a single woman compared to a single female friend.

Which might explain why I'm a firm believer in making friends with women and staying away from the very concept of "dating". A social convention that puts intentions up front while people seem to needlessly play games to hide their real intent. Social dynamics that I too just could not handle. Or as I prefer to lament, that dating is a game where I could never really understand its "rules". Leaving me to make friends, and that on occasion such a friendship blossomed into something more.

 

[thejuice]

You need a wingman Tony!