Mark Smith
Active Member
Even since I was a child, I have exhibited some behaviors that I have never understood or been able to explain. But recently, I’ve been researching about autistic spectrum disorders and realized that a lot of the symptoms associated with it are ones that I feel/have. I even took an online autism quotient test and scored a 38. But I understand that this isn’t intended to be a diagnosis so I’ll instead list the reasons why I think I may have it.
-I am extremely shy and strongly dislike change. I remember when I was a toddler, I would get anxious to the point of crying whenever my parents would leave me somewhere I wasn’t familiar with. It got to the point where several of the babysitters I had flat out refused to babysit me after a while because I would cry almost the entire time.
-This got better when I was 4-5, but it hasn’t completely went away. I usually have to learn social skills that other people pick up naturally. I still get extremely anxious in social situations and I find myself having trouble expressing my thoughts into words or not knowing how to respond when people talk to me. Also I have a fear about being watched or being the center of attention in public; which is why I very anxious when people make eye contact with me for a long period of time, clap for me, or even sing happy birthday to me.
-I was thought to be intellectually gifted when I was in kindergarten. And although I wasn’t classified as a genius, I was still found to have above average intelligence. I recently tested myself and scored my IQ at 129.
-Although I’ve had a few friends when I was young, they were never really close and I would usually prefer to spend most of my time doing things such as playing video games, rather than socializing. This really hasn’t changed as I don’t really feel love or a sense of emotional closeness towards anybody in my life.
-Ever since I was a child, I have had countless obsessive interests that I would immerse myself in. While they have changed throughout the years, one that I have now is history. I usually spend hours and hours reading articles and watching YouTube videos about historical topics to the point where I can even give very detailed descriptions about those topics.
-I also occasionally develop very random and strange interests that I can’t explain. Some of these have included types of coffee makers and Wi-Fi routers.
-I have an unusual fascination with finding patterns. For example, let’s say I saw a random set of numbers on a license plate; I would try hard to find a way that the numbers connect by adding, dividing or multiplying by the same number. Or another things I would do is look at floor tiles to see if the colors go in a pattern in the same shape and size. I also get simulated by warm showers; I could honestly stay in a shower for about 30-45 minutes.
-I get attached to inanimate objects; usually balls or rubber bands because playing with them satisfies me and helps to calm my senses
-Since I was young, I have often developed certain tics and compulsive behaviors such as chewing the skin around my nails, popping my knuckles, grinding my teeth, tickling the roof of my mouth with my tongue, etc.
-I am fascinated by time and often spend time thinking about the amount of months, dates, years, decades, etc that have passed between 2 random events.
-I have some obsessions fuel by anxiety. Like for example, the faucet in my bathroom used to be leaky. So I would get up multiple times a night to make sure that it is properly closed. Another example(and one I currently have) is that I would get out of my bed multiple times to make sure that my bedroom door is properly locked.
-I get easily distracted and have trouble concentrating on things such as schoolwork.
-I tend to have poor coordination. I usually have trouble finding objects or following instructions that are given to me verbally.
-There are times when I have listening problems. For example, if someone says something to be that is completely coherent, it will still sound like incoherent gibberish once it hits me ears.
-I have a very elaborate and immersive imagination/fantasy world that I usually create in my head from the types of movies/TV shows I watch. This is another thing that started way back when I was young.
-I’m very sensitive and can become easily upset/angry at things people do or say. Something that might be a minor disturbance to a normal person that will get over in just a few hours is something that will continue to plague my mind months or years on end.
-I am extremely shy and strongly dislike change. I remember when I was a toddler, I would get anxious to the point of crying whenever my parents would leave me somewhere I wasn’t familiar with. It got to the point where several of the babysitters I had flat out refused to babysit me after a while because I would cry almost the entire time.
-This got better when I was 4-5, but it hasn’t completely went away. I usually have to learn social skills that other people pick up naturally. I still get extremely anxious in social situations and I find myself having trouble expressing my thoughts into words or not knowing how to respond when people talk to me. Also I have a fear about being watched or being the center of attention in public; which is why I very anxious when people make eye contact with me for a long period of time, clap for me, or even sing happy birthday to me.
-I was thought to be intellectually gifted when I was in kindergarten. And although I wasn’t classified as a genius, I was still found to have above average intelligence. I recently tested myself and scored my IQ at 129.
-Although I’ve had a few friends when I was young, they were never really close and I would usually prefer to spend most of my time doing things such as playing video games, rather than socializing. This really hasn’t changed as I don’t really feel love or a sense of emotional closeness towards anybody in my life.
-Ever since I was a child, I have had countless obsessive interests that I would immerse myself in. While they have changed throughout the years, one that I have now is history. I usually spend hours and hours reading articles and watching YouTube videos about historical topics to the point where I can even give very detailed descriptions about those topics.
-I also occasionally develop very random and strange interests that I can’t explain. Some of these have included types of coffee makers and Wi-Fi routers.
-I have an unusual fascination with finding patterns. For example, let’s say I saw a random set of numbers on a license plate; I would try hard to find a way that the numbers connect by adding, dividing or multiplying by the same number. Or another things I would do is look at floor tiles to see if the colors go in a pattern in the same shape and size. I also get simulated by warm showers; I could honestly stay in a shower for about 30-45 minutes.
-I get attached to inanimate objects; usually balls or rubber bands because playing with them satisfies me and helps to calm my senses
-Since I was young, I have often developed certain tics and compulsive behaviors such as chewing the skin around my nails, popping my knuckles, grinding my teeth, tickling the roof of my mouth with my tongue, etc.
-I am fascinated by time and often spend time thinking about the amount of months, dates, years, decades, etc that have passed between 2 random events.
-I have some obsessions fuel by anxiety. Like for example, the faucet in my bathroom used to be leaky. So I would get up multiple times a night to make sure that it is properly closed. Another example(and one I currently have) is that I would get out of my bed multiple times to make sure that my bedroom door is properly locked.
-I get easily distracted and have trouble concentrating on things such as schoolwork.
-I tend to have poor coordination. I usually have trouble finding objects or following instructions that are given to me verbally.
-There are times when I have listening problems. For example, if someone says something to be that is completely coherent, it will still sound like incoherent gibberish once it hits me ears.
-I have a very elaborate and immersive imagination/fantasy world that I usually create in my head from the types of movies/TV shows I watch. This is another thing that started way back when I was young.
-I’m very sensitive and can become easily upset/angry at things people do or say. Something that might be a minor disturbance to a normal person that will get over in just a few hours is something that will continue to plague my mind months or years on end.
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