I would... If I Were...

[Ste11aeres]

...I would try to get Cesar Millan to make an appearance on my show.
If I were a bookworm...

 

[zurb]

... I would block your gut up worse than a tape worm.
If I was marooned on a desert island...

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'd pray I had a way to fish.
If I were to go to sleep...

 

[zurb]

... I wouldn't be lying here wondering what to write.
If I was to mistake wasabi for avocado ...

 

[StephF]

I'd be foaming at the mouth.
If I poured a bucket of soapy frogs into your trousers .....

 

[Kobus]

I'd be dancing.
If your home was slowly moving...

 

[zurb]

It would mean I'm enjoying the view from my house bus (I wish).
If I wore body paint in public ...

 

[Ste11aeres]

...It would be hidden under my modest clothing.
If I were to carry a mirror in public...

 

[Kobus]

I would ask the manager where he wants it.
If I'm held for ransom...

 

[Harrison]

I would remove humanity from the planet
If I was god

 

[Kobus]

I would chance the laws of physics to confuse people.
If I was blind...

 

[zurb]

... I would have no idea what you just wrote, and therefore not reply.

If I was Jabba the Hutt ...

 

[Harrison]

I would guess Kobus was Daredevil, the blind superhero
If I was into that sort of thing

 

[You'llPokeYourEyeOut]

I would ride a shooting star

If I were a time traveling unicorn

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

I would sing lots of Erasure songs

If I were a pirate

 

[Kobus]

I would say "me booty" alot.
If i had a beard

 

[Jambo_nick]

If I shave off my beard,
I tend to act a tad weird.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

if I have a crush on someone

I would be arrested for indecent exposure

 

[sakirkist]

They would more than likely not know.

If I was Bruce Willis

 

[StephF]

I would shoot bad guys

If I was an astrophysicist ....